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pawelk1986
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09 May 2020, 8:41 am

Would you commit suicide because of a woman, because of a broken heart?

https://www.quora.com/unanswered/Would- ... om-someone

Would you commit suicide because of a woman, because of a broken heart? The fact that any human being does it is sad, especially when a child does it. I recently read a rather sad article about a boy with whom someone did him very gruesome joke :(

https://edition.cnn.com/2017/04/10/us/b ... index.html

Would you commit suicide because of a woman, because of a broken heart? The fact that any human being does it is sad, especially when a child does it.
I recently read a rather sad article about a boy with whom someone did him very gruesome, a sadistic joke on him.


Well, the very active and ubiquitous American 11-year-old boy suddenly hung himself because he got a fake news that his 13-year-old girl committed suicide. I am not American but Polish but I also got sad.
I learned about it from a Polish portal devoted to the IT industry, in particular social media and fake news, it is not that they distribute fake news, but treat them as a scientific research problem :-)

When I read the stories of this boy, I felt sad, I remembered the story of one of my mother's older brothers, who just took a broken heart, did so using gas from a gas stove :-(
And although one story happens in America in modern times and concerns an 11-year-old boy and the other in the former Polish People's Republic and concerns a 42-year-old man, the reason is the same, that is, a woman.
The mother in the article blames the whole situation on the boy's 13-year-old girlfriend, whom this boy was meeting despite the explicit prohibition on the part of his mother, I talked about it to one of my friends who, like me, has autism, told me that this is a very sad story, but he wonders if the relationship between the boy and his mother was not toxic, that it reminds him a bit of the scene from the movie "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" that in turn was based on book in which one of the main characters, the one who stuttered so much, was intimidated by the mean Nurse Ratched, that she will tell his mother that he will tell his mother that he had sex with a prostitute.
He wrote that his wife is also 3 years older than him, I wrote that basically my dad was also younger than my mother by two years, only that they started going out when they were 20 or so. And one of my other autistic friends said that he met his wife when he was 13 and she was 15, in the past it was not known what Asperger was, and he was just a nerd and a geek. He wrote that his mother didn't like it then, that he was dating an older girl ;-) He wrote, despite the fact that he was always amicable towards his parents, he said that at that particular time he gave a s**t about parents whims back than, than noting would stand on his chance for love, to have real girlfriend that care about him

That he's mom suspected that his girlfriend use him, that he suspected it too, but decided play along, it's turned out that she was genuinely interested in quirk like him :-) and now they are married

He joked that even if he loved his much very very much, that if is would be forced to chose, between his mum feeling and a girl who voluntary spread her legs between before him, he probably chose a girl :-)

But's indeed very sad that boy commits suicide because of chick :-(



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09 May 2020, 9:32 am

Not just 'No', but "HELL NO!!"

Killing oneself "because of a woman" would be pointless, stupid, and cowardly!


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09 May 2020, 9:38 am

I would not commit suicide for any other reason than to escape a permanently debilitating and untreatable medical condition that I could not face with living with.


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pawelk1986
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09 May 2020, 9:57 am

Velorum wrote:
I would not commit suicide for any other reason than to escape a permanently debilitating and untreatable medical condition that I could not face with living with.


Well, human life is too valuable to give it up in this way :D although just when it comes to a very very painful illness. I'm not sure if I would decide to euthanasia if there wasn't even a shadow of a chance for me to heal myself.



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09 May 2020, 10:59 am

I almost did twice after the first girlfriend suddenly ended things without giving a reason. I thought I had done something terribly wrong, though I could not work out what I had done.


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Fnord
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09 May 2020, 1:11 pm

Velorum wrote:
I would not commit suicide for any other reason than to escape a permanently debilitating and untreatable medical condition that I could not face with living with.
This may be the only valid reason someone could give to end his or her own life.  After seeing both of my parents waste away to a "skin-and-bones" state in which they were barely aware of themselves (much less their children and surroundings), I can understand why someone would want to settle all of their debts, make their peace with everyone, tie up any remaining loose ends, and quietly end their lives in peace and comfort of their own free will and at a time and place of their own choosing.

But to violently end one's life over a mere "broken heart" simply makes no sense at all!


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pawelk1986
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09 May 2020, 3:08 pm

Fnord wrote:
Velorum wrote:
I would not commit suicide for any other reason than to escape a permanently debilitating and untreatable medical condition that I could not face with living with.
This may be the only valid reason someone could give to end his or her own life.  After seeing both of my parents waste away to a "skin-and-bones" state in which they were barely aware of themselves (much less their children and surroundings), I can understand why someone would want to settle all of their debts, make their peace with everyone, tie up any remaining loose ends, and quietly end their lives in peace and comfort of their own free will and at a time and place of their own choosing.

But to violently end one's life over a mere "broken heart" simply makes no sense at all!


It's so sad if people end their life because broken hearts, or similar reason especially if they ware just kids, that have an entire life to life in front of them :(

Sometimes it seems to me that some children and people are smarter and more mature than their age would indicate.
For example, this boy looked like a very sensitive young man who was overwhelmed by life.
Let's give my brother's older daughter, she is almost 22 years old and in my opinion she is much more emotionally mature than me 34-year-old man, and certainly more mature than her daddy my beloved older, 47-year-old brother

BTW This boy mom apprently not approved this relationship because girl was more than two years older than her son, but for example my dad was two years younger than me mom, but they meet when my dad doing his compulsory military service in the "People's Polish Army" :-)
My deceased mother after years after dad died thought she was 100% sure that he had Asperger Syndrome, and I got Asperger after him, because dad sometimes had his strange rituals and liked to collect various things, we also had a large library of popular science books because dad was a printer and worked in a scientific printing house that printed textbooks for high schools and academic textbooks for the largest Polish scientific publishing house (Polskie Wydanictwo Naukowe PWN Polish Scientific Publisher).
So we had a a lot of Polish translation of books published by Oxford, Cambridge, Harvard, Princeton etc.

BTW did any of you managed to find love despite Autism, many think that our kind is clueless and gullible, so many Parents of Aspie not like if their children dating, mine mom has not problem with me because i was not searching for love, but quirky aspie dude from Poalnd i once talked said that he was dating as young 12, he was a bit nonverbal, because he know very little people worthy chat, but was felt in love in girl that was a bit older than him, his mom was very no no,because she was worried about him, that girl would break his heart, and because of autism maybe to immature to handle it, but he dated that girl, he initially thought too that this girl try to fool him, but she was genuine in love with him.
So to make long story short he brag that they have sex when he was 15 and she was 17, the law on sex in Poland state that age of consent is 15 or the age of difference is no grater than 3 years, so he had sex with that girl, and when he's mom found it she has hysteria over it but he told to his mother "Forgive mother, but male naked dick, know no mercy' He said that people NTs think we Aspies are ret*d, but he would be real ret*d if gorgeous girl that he longed for so many times spread her legs before him and he not used it :mrgreen:



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09 May 2020, 7:36 pm

Velorum wrote:
I would not commit suicide for any other reason than to escape a permanently debilitating and untreatable medical condition that I could not face with living with.
When someone is majorly suffering from a mental illness for a while, they may feel like it's a permanent state that's untreatable, especially if the person has tried getting treatment for a bit & it hasn't really helped.

I fell into a psychotic depression after me & my 1st girlfriend broke up. I was kind of slipping into it for a while which was some of the reason we broke up. I considered suicide cuz she was the 1st person I ever really connected with. I also felt like I made things worse for her in the end & I couldn't forgive myself for that. I realized during our relationship how much I HATED being single & sleeping alone. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to find anyone else & I was also afraid that if by some miracle I did manage to, I would f#ck things up for them too.


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09 May 2020, 7:43 pm

Almost. But it wasn't a romantic relationship, it was violence and abuse.


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09 May 2020, 7:49 pm

nick007 wrote:
I also felt like I made things worse for her in the end & I couldn't forgive myself for that.
I was also afraid that if by some miracle I did manage to, I would f#ck things up for them too.


I was blaming myself and not caring if I lived or died and I took a few chances with my life that to this day, it was only because God did His miracles that I did not come to harm.

I never knew the reason why she stopped seeing me (I didn't even know it was over as she just stopped all contact and had her family and her sisters husband (Who I occasionally worked with) prevent me from seeing her or speaking about her).
It was only many months after that I found out that she had been dating others at the same time she was dating me and going furher then I did with her. When I found out, I dropped all plans for suicide and came back to my senses.


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09 May 2020, 7:50 pm

nick007 wrote:
Velorum wrote:
I would not commit suicide for any other reason than to escape a permanently debilitating and untreatable medical condition that I could not face with living with.
When someone is majorly suffering from a mental illness for a while, they may feel like it's a permanent state that's untreatable, especially if the person has tried getting treatment for a bit & it hasn't really helped.

I fell into a psychotic depression after me & my 1st girlfriend broke up. I was kind of slipping into it for a while which was some of the reason we broke up. I considered suicide cuz she was the 1st person I ever really connected with. I also felt like I made things worse for her in the end & I couldn't forgive myself for that. I realized during our relationship how much I HATED being single & sleeping alone. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to find anyone else & I was also afraid that if by some miracle I did manage to, I would f#ck things up for them too.


That cool to listen to men! I glad you fix your life.
How did you get your first relationship, how old ware you?

Some of us Aspies could be terrible jerk, as once of that friend of mine, he had as you American would call helicopter parent, that not liked the fact that he had his first serious relationship with an older girl that was 15 while he was 13, and had sex with her when he was 15 and she had 17 or so, some think we are immature and this may be a case of my friend, who told to his mum when was griled for being sexual with his GF, by saying to her "Forgive mum, bare dick not know mercy!" :D
It was terrible rude i think, but also kind of funny IMHO :D

I know that my mum if she would be still among living would be more than happy that i can make new friends or find love interest.



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14 May 2020, 5:35 pm

No, I'd fail at it like most everything else I attempt because I prioritized plausible deniability over success.


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16 May 2020, 8:43 am

I think the sheer possibility of that (ie. over love) implies that one has a particular view on people, what it is to be human, and how men and women interact, that isn't accounting for what things really are.

Could I see a guy committing suicide because he's now divorced, lost the house, lost the kids, and he's forty-something or fifty-something with a studio apartment, most of his money goes to the government, and he never gets to see his kids? It happens, I wouldn't encourage it, and I'll probably never be in that situation so I can't gauge what I'd do. Judging from past traumas likely not - there's been too much that's happened in my life where if I had the capacity and interest to overpower my own life support impulses and end it I already would have many times over (I'm sure certain aspects of worldview and relationship to self contribute to that as well but there are many kinds of misery that can seem unlivable and most people end up finding just how deep their body's will to live actually runs).


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16 May 2020, 2:02 pm

If it was after my parents have died, then absolutely yes (for a man or a woman). I’d have nothing left to live for. If I’m still alive when my parents die and I don’t have a close relationship with anyone else, I’m going not long afterward. If I have a “significant other“ at the time, they will probably be the only reason I keep going, so if I don’t have them, then...


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16 May 2020, 7:37 pm

^ Think I'd kinda agree, if someone was your life it'd be hard to not want to and they'd be nobody exactly preventing you. Though I could see an enjoyable career, good friends or similar being enough motive to not want to outside of parents/ close family.

Personally have felt close to this (not that I tried), so the above is based on experience to an extent that I can see how the feelings could overwhelm and lead to it. Even if I was far more confused and lost mentally so one of many factors at the time, at least now I know I'm rejected by society and why. This understanding of myself and experiences makes me feel that previous experience barely counts compared to what I'd actually want, so it could be a much more painful experience than I had then. Over a decade later I still wonder if I made the right choice as not sure it ever got any better. Even with undertaking a 'highly valued' degree in that period and reducing other factors (like anxiety), it doesn't change the consistent rejection by others professionally and personally.



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16 May 2020, 7:43 pm

dragonsanddemons wrote:
If it was after my parents have died, then absolutely yes (for a man or a woman). I’d have nothing left to live for. If I’m still alive when my parents die and I don’t have a close relationship with anyone else, I’m going not long afterward. If I have a “significant other“ at the time, they will probably be the only reason I keep going, so if I don’t have them, then...

We need significantly better social structures and ingrained community. When I think about this one, and to some extent I'm in a similar camp with my parents, it would be one thing to be going it alone in a world that's socially on the mend and people are learning to be civil and polite with each other and where most people go out of their way more to socially enfranchise the people around them and a completely different thing to live that way in a world where we're increasingly socially siloed, where fewer and fewer people have friends or family, and where neo-liberalism is shifting into neo-feudalism.


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