The appeal of online Incel communities to autistic men

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I wouldn't lose sleep over incels not liking women.From what I gather women don't like them either.

I, for one, am not very likely to develop a romantic interest in one.

Fair enough. I think once a young man signs up to be part of that "clique" then trying to get romantic with one of them might also be dangerous.

I am not "everyone".
I think women are luverly.

Aren't you more interested in women, these days?

There's something in the red pill world called 'geomaxing', the idea like to that, similar to 'looks maxing', is that short but financially well-off guys go to countries where the height of the average person is significantly shorter on average than North America to find a partner. I think it was Alexander Grace who gave people a list of countries where the average guy was either close to or even under 5 ft and it was funny to see Bolivia toward the extreme low-end of that distribution, makes me wonder if there's something in the coca.

It's not the coca, it's the malnutrition. Bolivia is poor, plain and simple. Most people can't afford nutritious food, especially quality meats and fresh produce. They make do with beans and rice (good), or just cheap junk food (bad). So when you can't get good food, you can't get good nutrition. And when you can't get good nutrition, your body can't grow tall.

Yeah, I figured it was something like that. I sort of wondered whether that's still an issue in the more developed areas of the country or just in the countryside.

---

i Watched About Half 'the Video' And Surely Could
Relate to the Reciprocal Social Communication Difficulties the Young
Man Experienced in School; And Yes, Most Definitely For me Even More So

With Gross
And Fine
Motor Coordination;

Actually, Specifically,
A Criterion in Gilberg Criteria
For Asperger's Syndrome, Along
With in my Case, A Hyperlexic Language
Delay until 4 And Problems Stuttering And

Coordinating Output of Language to Keep Up with my Mind;
Same As 'Prescription' Hand Writing Keeping Up with my Mind too....

Typing is Easier this Way; A Whole Lot Comes Out Yet Really Even
At 130 WPM Totally Focused, There is Still Some Catch-Up to Do in

Autotelic
Flow this
Way; Yes, Totally
Hyper-Laser Focused

In A Meditative Way, No
Different Than the Free
Dance i Do in Meditation too;

What i Couldn't Do When
i Was Younger as i Barely
Cracked A Book to Read in School;
Mostly Relying on The Auditory And
Visual Laser Focus of Lectures in School;
Yawn, Staying Close to the Top of the Class
With 3 Degrees, Never the Less, Never Really

Meeting Any Real Creative Potential in Life Except
in A Couple of Spurts in Middle School and A Philosophy Class in College;

HAha, What i could also Identify With, What the Young Man Said is How Much
'The Buttocks' Will Mean For a Woman For 'Base Physical Attraction' As Back
When i Was A Runner, It Was Grabbed More Than Once in Bars And That Was

Before my Wife
Even Said i Moved
From Flat Buttocks
to More of A Bubble
Butt During 16,666 Miles
of Public Dancing Now in 105 Months;

It's True, Only Recently my Wife Actually Caught
A Young Woman Taking A Photo of my Butt Close
Up When i Was Turned The Other Way At Walmart;

Yet of Course, Considering the Metro Audience Has
Determined i'm Both Famous and Living Legend, Well Documented
Still Now in A Viral Video With Close to 90 Thousand Views and 1300
Comments From the Metro Area; Sure That Goes With That Territory
Along With Over 2000 Photos With the Most Beautiful Young Women

in This Beach
Town Area
Spending
6 Years Dancing
on 'College Night' With Them' Yet

In My 20's, i Was Mostly A Wallflower

Waiting For them to Come to me Rather
Than Doing the Solo Thing And Then A Whole

Lot of Beautiful Women Coming my Way Without Fail
With Smiles Ear to Ear in Ecstatic Joy of Dance; However,

They Only Knew me By My Non-Verbal Communication
in A Solo Fearless Dance Without Fail; Hehe, They Probably

Would Have
Fallen
Asleep
And Totally
Zoned Out with
a 'Fred-Talk' Like This

And True the Dude on the
Video Did Kinda Go on and
on and on too About His Special Interests too...

Anyway, Here's the Thing; Human Beings Have Incredible
Untapped Potentials With Enough Environmental Challenge

As Adaption Comes With
Struggle or Not Now;

EPiGeNeTiC AS Such;

IF ANYONE HAD LOOKED
AT 'THIS PHOTO' OF me
AT AGE 13, ALL 5 FOOT 10
AND 120 POUNDS THEN; WHAT

ARE THE CHANCES THAT THE LAST
KID PICKED IN SPORTS, WOULD END UP
BEING AN ATHLETIC DIRECTOR AT A MILITARY
INSTALLATION AND STILL THE STRONGEST LEG PRESSING

DUDE REACHING 62 ON JUNE 6TH, STILL AT UP TO 1520 POUNDS;

Well, Again, Considering That the Peers Then At School Spit on me for
Even Trying to Smile; and Continually Let me Know i Really Didn't Deserve

To Exist
As That's
A Whole Lot
Easier to Believe
As A Photo Says So
Much More Then Than

A 242 Pound Dude Now
Who Still Has Women Following
Him Around Town as the Dancing
Man Still and Senior Citizen Hehe...

Epigenetic Effects Are What's For
Breakfast, Lunch, And Dinner ACross

The Lifespan; Some Do the Talk and

Other Folks Do The Dance of Change;

And Lord Knows my So-Called Ascension
And Transcendence Had Nothing to Do With

Meeting Societal Norms; And Everything to Do

With Naked, Enough, Whole, And Complete;

Additionally, my First Love at 18, And my
Current Love Who is 52 Have One Thing

In Common;

Haha, They
Could Still
Be Mistaken For Sisters;

And Not Likely Mother and Daughter

With Of Course Similar Reactions From
Others As Both Wearing No Make-Up

Almost 'Supernormally' Beautiful With a Perfect Figure...

My First Love Called me Her Macho Man And Said i Should
be A Captain of A Ship; My Current Wife Called me the Nicest

Man She Ever

Met;

And it is
the Second
Relationship that
Still Lasts; Relationships

Based on Attraction May
Be Temporary at Most;

Relationships Based

On HeART Are
Still The Ones

That/Who Last
No Matter What;

i Didn't Hear Any
Evidence of that Propensity
in The Video of the Young Man
Shared; He still Has a long Way

To Go, To Ever Find Love that Lasts
With His Current Material Reductionist
Superficial Attitude About Relationships;

Same as the Rest of The So-Called Incel Communities
Hooked on Porn; If You Really Want to Touch Women in

Every Way; You

Touch Her HeART;

And When You 'Touch' Her

SoUL Her SPiRiT Through
A Dance or Through A Song

She Will Never Forget Your 'Touch'...

Not Seeing Any Ascension in the Video;
Just Stale Adherence to The Way of 'That World'
Empty and Cold...

i'm Glad

i Could Never
Fit in to the Way
of That World; i'm
Thrilled That i Created
my Own World That Works So Well
For me Without GIVING ONE GOD
DAMN WHAT ANYONE ELSE THINKS...

The Benefit

of Being

The One
No One Wants
Around; Finding Your

Own Paths and Being So
Truly Successful Within, 'Normies'
Ain't Even Got A Clue Where You Are...

Thank God i Was God Damned Weird;

And Thank
God i Am Still,

Hehe, Even if i Do
Look Like i Could Hit
Homeruns on the First
Baptist Soft Ball team
Now As A Senior Citizen, HAha;

Yeah, It's True That's All it Takes
to Really Fit in, in 'Trump Town USA'...

That And the Magic Password 'Jesus';

Just Say That Word And You've Got Best Friends
Forever Here...

Yet Act With
Love For All

With Least Harm
And See How Distant
They Will All Still Come to Be...

"i've Already Been to the Valley,
Same Height as the Mountain Now;

They Ain't Even Got Off THeir Porch."

My Step-Mother Advised me to Never Believe
That Women Will Meet Your Expectations of What

You See in Porn Magazines; Yet Without Make-Up,

Both my First
Love And
Wife Now

Still Prove
Her Theory Wrong...

EXCEEDINGLY SO;

Yawn, All My High-School
Crushes Were ON Nerd Girls
From the 'Beta Club' For Nerds;

i Would Have Been As Happy Being
Married to Them As The 'Super Models'
Who Eventually Came Attached to me Next...

Love Trumps
All When You
Are Really

Capable
of Touching
A Woman's HeART,
SPiRiT, And SoUL;

It Doesn't Matter
Who You Are Or What
You Look Like Either;

Or even if they've

Never Seen you at all...

The 'Color of Water' is Love
When Real;

Clear to
See and Be;

i Still Go Places
Now Cause i
Adapted to
Struggle and Changed

That Many folks Still
Can't Even Dream of Now;

And Making Any Additional
Money or Buying Stuff Has
Nothing to Do With it At All;

As Through over 2000 Ecstatic
Joyous Smiles With the Most Beautiful
Young College Age Women in my Area,

i Never Had
A Dime in
my Pocket

or A Drink to Buy for them;

On the Other Hand, i Received
A Few i Turned Down Along With Literal Wishes
to Marry me For Only A Fearless Solo Dance then

Again at Close to 60 Years-Old;

Chances Are
With A Full
'Fred-Talk'
Hehe Not So Much...

Actually in Some Ways
i Was Less Taxing to my
Wife when i Rarely Said a
Word through the First Couple
of Decades in our Marriage then...

CHANGE

IS POSSIBLE,

ALL THE WAY
ACROSS THE LIFESPAN INDEED...

Sitting Around Complaining
Enjoying Misery Loves
Suffering With
Other Folks

Is Surely
A way
to Stagnate
And Verily Rot;

Been There and Done that too...

The Appeal of Online Incel Communities
To Anyone is Obviously Misery Loves Suffering
And A Big Helping of Addiction to the Neurohormones
And Neurochemicals That A Community of Anger And Hate Provide;

Really Not Much
Different than
The Hell
Fire
Evangelistic
Churches From
Around my Local Area too;

Yet Just Remember the Magic
Password Jesus and Look Like
You Can Hit a Home Run on the
First Baptist Softball Team With Your

Mouth
Otherwise
Shut And
Congrats

You Automatically
Become Part of the
Toxic Patriarchy Team...

Indeed, IT Proves More
Toxic Every God Damned American Day...

Other than That Happy Memorial Day to ALL; Still
Coming/Going; "Get Out and Buy A Gun", Still An 'American JeSuS' Way...

---

I think height can be a factor (certainly a few on WP who have indicated this has been a handicap in the dating market).
But among the men I was referring to in my post they were all above or close to 6 foot. I think we have to factor that incel shooters that have committed mass murder are mostly good looking young men. That's my point. Maybe they had a "type" and that's what was a stumbling block that would only settle with dating a good looking girl,

let me give you two more examples from family friends who had sons who never got married. One worked in IT and the other became a tech lawyer. I knew them quite well as teenagers and they were average height (around 5'10) reasonably good looking, private school educated from upper middle class backgrounds. This was pre-internet era and the IT fellow was obsessed with Elaine from Seinfled. No joke!, Seinfeld fans will know that there was an episode where a nerd was also obsessed with Elaine and this guy had posters of the actress Julia Louise Dreyfus all over his wall and said he wanted a girl like that. The engineer was a Buffy the vampire slayer and had every VHS video of the actress Sarah Michelle Gellar, He was also a fan of the other 90s "it" girl Jennifer Love Hewitt. Even in the 1990s finding a girl who looked like one of these actresses in their prime is pretty ambitious for an "average Joe".

So maybe a lot of these incels have unrealistic expectations and think they deserve a supermodel instead of a slightly overweight pimply girl next door (who BTW are nowadays just as difficult to date).

I had a Quillette article that I posted by Will Storr over in In-Depth Adult Life Discussion recently on that topic (title is 'A brutally insightful Quillette article about male violence'), I decided to put it there because with Ed Kemper it got fastidious in ways that I'd feel uncomfortable exposing younger posters to.

The idea there seemed to be that in one sense some of these guys, particularly noting Elliot Rodgers in the article, did find themselves gravitated to this because their humiliation primarily came from female peers, however with these guys Will Storr pointed out that the commonalities started with deep humiliation and in some cases profound abuse (in the case of Ed Kemper a guy with a 146 IQ and a horror-movie level abusive mom, I think of Kane's character in 'See No Evil'), this then bounced back against both high levels of intelligence and narcissism. While many men suffer humiliation in the social world, and as the author noted - humiliation beyond redemption where you're not just told that you can't be in 'this' status hierarchy right now until you man up or whatever, it's permanent exile from ever joining a status hierarchy. Adding both high IQ and narcissism to that combo makes it all the more vivid and crushing an experience, which then if someone has psychopathic potential that's even more bars removed which would otherwise be holding their humanity in place.

On a completely different note Ted Kaczynski was also in the article and they were discussing the humiliation experiment that he was put in during college and how that impacted where he ended up.

Oh I see. I noticed that other guys try to do this too, and marry someone from a foreign nation, as relationships with women from foreign nations might be easier and this is why? Could other guys, perhaps incels, try this route too?

Yes for Incels (uppercase), but Red Pillers warn against it.

Why? Women are still women everywhere in the world, with the same biological instincts and same lust for alpha males (except lesbian women). Now, a beta male with ASD may get a free pass for his aspie quirks, because they're attributed to cultural differences instead of his own weirdness. But his beta male-ness is still universally unattractive. "Foreign" women may go for him because cultural norms dictate them to do so, or because he's their ticket out of poverty. But the lustful feelings women normally harbor for Chad will never be there, no matter how serious the relationship gets; and in the worst case, a beta could find himself raising Chad's baby.

Also, the Red Pill tears down the idealized images Incels put up about "foreign" women. For instance, Southeast Asian women can be _____, Eastern European women are generally _______, and Latin American women are actually more ______ than North American women. (Underscores represent anti-TOS statements.) Now, a North American man may be of some interest, and having someone show interest in you as a person may feel like a breath of fresh air. But it's a friendly interest in meeting someone from a different culture, not a lustful interest in mashing genitals.

Also, sometime in 2016, there were news articles: some incel (lowercase) idiot flew from Holland to China to meet his online girlfriend. She no-showed, as expected. He waited 10 days for her in the airport. In the end, he got taken to a local hospital for exhaustion, dehydration, and malnutrition. I saw their photos: she looked attractive, he did not.

It's sad how incel men will literally put themselves in harm's way for a false promise of sex/companionship.

Oh I see. That's not good... Well I guess the best thing for guys to do would be to become alpha males then, and change their behavior around, if that is what women are attracted to? For example, I know one guy who is overweight and average looking, but he is complete alpha and still manages to score because of personality, if that's the best thing to do?

Alpha males are born, not made. The alpha/beta divide is hard-coded into men's DNA. However, it's not too difficult for beta males to emulate alpha males, as women can't always tell the difference between natural-born alphas and emulated alphas, provided that their looks are similar enough; that's why the Red Pill works. But there's a catch: you can't pull off emulated behaviors forever. Sooner or later, you'll slip up, act like a beta male, and lose the woman's respect and desire. So it's only good for short-term relationships, unfortunately. Then again, with acting like a natural-born beta male from the get-go, you won't get women's interest in the first place.

Last edited by Aspie1 on 28 May 2022, 9:12 am, edited 1 time in total.

Standards of attraction differ across cultures. Even if we're talking only of body attraction, on average a person from Egypt will be attracted to a vastly different body shape than a person in China. In some cultures, skinny men are all the rage and in some it's the muscles that do the talking. If we're talking about personality, being "original", "unique", "vibrant" etc. is attractive in, say, the US, but as a rule off-putting in, say, Japan. It means you aren't enough of a grown-up man (or lack the smarts) to find your place and be of use to others.

But men who are attracted to women only because of their "foreignness" are nothing to write home about. Even worse are those who enter into relationships on that ground and then blame "cultural differences" for their failures.

Last edited by 1986 on 28 May 2022, 9:17 am, edited 1 time in total.