Seeing someone who turned you down when asked out.

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NewTime
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27 May 2020, 3:41 pm

Do you have fear of seeing someone you asked out and they turned you down again at some place and some time? Do you hope that if you do that they will have forgotten that you ever asked them out?



Fnord
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27 May 2020, 4:11 pm

No to both questions.

Last year, I almost literally bumped into someone who had once turned me down for a date.  We then greeted each other, exchanged pleasantries, wished each other luck, and went our separate ways.  When I mentioned this to a mutual acquaintance, he told me that one of her kids was in prison for a string of arsons, assaults, and burglaries, that she and her husband had "separate living arrangements", and that the fathers of her daughter's children refused to pay child support, leaving them all dependent on my former "crush".

Sucks to be her, I guess.


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kraftiekortie
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27 May 2020, 6:03 pm

I wouldn’t give two craps.



Kiprobalhato
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27 May 2020, 10:53 pm

i've only really asked two people out in the last year

first one i saw and hung out with in a place far removed from my quotidian placed visited. so avoiding her after i "asked her out" and flopped it really wasn't hard to see her again. blocked her and moved on

after i moved... i tried to ask a second girl out to hang out, she worked at a pharmacy store-thing (like a very upscale CVS) that i frequented pre-COVID. gave her my contact info. i didn't even try to imply that i wanted to do anything more than that but she mentioned "i had a boyfriend" and that was the end of that.

that was late february. i don't think she even works there anymore....her positon seems to have been filled in by another equally-cute girl. nonetheless the following few times i visited i wore dark reflective sunglasses in there LOL to avoid making any awkward eye contact with her. but she wasn't there

don't let that stuff bother me anymore. not that i had many opportunities to, though


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hurtloam
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27 May 2020, 11:42 pm

No. It's not like you stabbed their mother. You just asked them on a date and they said no.

I might feel anbit awkward because I might feel a bit embarrassed, but once they've interacted with me again and can see I'm not going to pressure them to go out with me, then it's not weird.



ProfessorJohn
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28 May 2020, 12:48 am

Fnord wrote:
No to both questions.

Last year, I almost literally bumped into someone who had once turned me down for a date.  We then greeted each other, exchanged pleasantries, wished each other luck, and went our separate ways.  When I mentioned this to a mutual acquaintance, he told me that one of her kids was in prison for a string of arsons, assaults, and burglaries, that she and her husband had "separate living arrangements", and that the fathers of her daughter's children refused to pay child support, leaving them all dependent on my former "crush".

Sucks to be her, I guess.


See what the punishment is for turning you down!



Fnord
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28 May 2020, 8:34 am

ProfessorJohn wrote:
Fnord wrote:
No to both questions.

Last year, I almost literally bumped into someone who had once turned me down for a date.  We then greeted each other, exchanged pleasantries, wished each other luck, and went our separate ways.  When I mentioned this to a mutual acquaintance, he told me that one of her kids was in prison for a string of arsons, assaults, and burglaries, that she and her husband had "separate living arrangements", and that the fathers of her daughter's children refused to pay child support, leaving them all dependent on my former "crush".

Sucks to be her, I guess.
See what the punishment is for turning you down!
"Punishment"?  For turning me down?

No ... more like the consequences of her marrying her high-school sweetheart, who was also a local "Bad Boy".


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nick007
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28 May 2020, 11:29 am

It only really bothered me with one girl because we both worked at the same place but in different departments & she had an attitude with me after & seemed like she was intentionally making my work more difficult at times. I had thought her attitude was due to me misunderstanding her rejection at 1st. She said she was busy & I thought she really was so I suggested alternative days. That seems to be a fairly common Aspie mistake. However I noticed after that she seemed to have an attitude with other guys as well. She was nice to me before thou & someone in my department who knew I asked her out(we talked a bit) said the only other guy she seemed very nice towards was a manager who was presumed gay & he was kinda chummy with the women in general. That girl left a while after I asked her out cuz she joined the marines.

Other women I asked out at work were much nicer than her & I didn't mind seeing them after. We didn't talk a lot but talked some before & after. One girl told me she didn't date people from work & we were cool after & still talked some. However after she left the store(we worked retail) she came back a few times to shop & she visited with former coworkers but never approached me. I was hoping she would but I suspect she was not interested in me in that way & was afraid of me making a move since the I don't date coworkers excuse no longer applied. She was smart if that was the case cuz I really might would of tried but it would of depended on various factors so IDK for sure.


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