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Teach51
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18 Jul 2020, 4:17 am

Pepe wrote:
Teach51 wrote:
Pepe wrote:
Teach51 wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Kraftie was a "sex machine" but has long since retired.

I was the opposite, I had plenty of relationships with females (I have lost count) but was always friends. I kissed a few but never more. My wife was the one and only person I was ever intimate with.

You don't need to lie to get a girlfriend, NT girls are horribly superficial so I lucked out finding my very tolerant and understanding wife who is a diamond in the rough. I think that she is from a collective culture also helps due to the traditional outlook on love and marriage....such values do not exist anymore here in the west.



I really think it is is not productive or even accurate to make such a sweeping generalization that all NT girls are "horribly superficial." I am NT, I have many NT friends who are not superficial in the least. WP should not be a place where socially awkward men blame all their woes on NT women just because they themseves struggled in relationships. Just as every autistic is different so is every NT.
I am struggling now with an autistic lover who is behaving badly. Would I be justifed if I wrote here that all aspies are selfish, rude, insensitive
ba$tards? It wouldn't be true of all aspies, it would just reflect my own wounded ego and prejudice.

Edit: I don't believe in any divisive "isms." Liberalism, fascism, conservatism, feminism etc: I just believe in treating each and every individual whoever they may be with the utmost respect I would wish to be given myself.


I think cyberdad was trying to be sympathetic to the autistic community.

But yes,
I think NT bashing should be left to the experts,
Such as myself. 8)



You are the expert :lol:

Men seem to dwell on past rejections more than women. This must be a "man" thing. I like Cyber but he of all people should not divest NT's of the right to be discrimination free. I know the herd mentality prevails but I have never included myself in that. I do concede to Cyber that herd mentality is superficial and prolific but it is not all encompassing by any measure.


NTs are known for their herd mentality, in comparison to Aspies, but of course, there are always exceptions.

People often use the adage: Trying to organise those on the spectrum is like trying to corral a box of cats.
I'm one such "Kool Kat".
Try to keep me on topic, in a thread, and see what happens. 8)

It has also been said that cultural/technical innovation has a lot to do with autistic influences,
Because they can better see outside the box,
Of Kats. 8)


It's no secret that I have a "thing" for aspies : :wink:


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Pepe
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18 Jul 2020, 8:37 am

Teach51 wrote:

It's no secret that I have a "thing" for aspies : :wink:


Add me to your list. :wink:



The Grand Inquisitor
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18 Jul 2020, 10:43 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
It is not “ethically wrong” to not tell a woman you’re a virgin.

There are many nonvirgins out there who are not good lovers. I sucked as a lover until about 5 years after I lost my virginity—to the point where I might as well had been a virgin.

After giving it more thought, I think you're right in that it's not inherently wrong to not disclose the fact that you're a virgin. I'd broaden my prior statement to say that you should be upfront with your partner if you lack the level of sexual experience that you'd reasonably be expected to have.

In any case, I personally am uncomfortable with the idea of getting with someone who isn't aware of my sexual inexperience. I'm pretty convinced that my lack of experience is going to be quite apparent, and I'm worried that the woman I'm with might not have agreed to sleep with me had she known about my lack of experience, so to avoid an awkward and potentially humiliating situation where the woman feels betrayed and abandons me midway during sex, I would think it would be better to be upfront with her.

Moreover, I'd feel more pressure to perform at the level of a sexually experienced person if my partner didn't know that I wasn't one, and that pressure would likely have an adverse effect on both my performance, and on the level of enjoyment I'd derive from the experience.


kraftiekortie wrote:
Frankly, Inquisitor, you’re doing yourself a disservice by building an ideology around being a virgin that could needlessly and incorrectly preclude you from romantic happiness.

In what way have I built an ideology around being a virgin?

kraftiekortie wrote:
Many women these days deliberately “save themselves” for marriage. And it’s not like there are legions of women in their 20s who are experts in sex.

The women who save themselves for marriage wouldn't be a good match for me, as I'm not planning on doing that. And perhaps there aren't legions of women who are experts in sex, but the majority (perhaps even the vast majority) of women in their 20s in both of our countries have had sex, with many of them having had sex on many occasions.

But the issue isn't that most women around my age are sexually experienced. The issue is, of those women around my age who are sexually experienced, some of them are only going to want to sleep with men who are also sexually experienced, so to avoid a bad situation, I feel obligated to ensure that my hypothetical partner understands that I'm not experienced, and then hope that they're still interested to go through with it anyway..

kraftiekortie wrote:
In any relationship, the couple must “feel each other out” to the point where both of them might as well be virgins.

I'd imagine it's true that new sexual partners must acclimatise to each other, but I'd think that this process would be easier for people who are already sexually experienced, in the same way that a guitarist is going to have an easier time acclimatising to a specific new guitar than somebody who's never played before.

kraftiekortie wrote:
You’re a stout and sort of strapping fella. Women will dig you if you carry yourself well.


Thanks KK. Unfortunately, that's just not been my experience thus far, and I don't know what it's going to take for that to change.



cyberdad
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18 Jul 2020, 10:57 pm

Teach51 wrote:
Was she superficial or just not attracted to you? That's hardly her fault.What is more valuable in the long term, hook ups or friendship?


A lot of the girls I knew (including this one) were initially attracted to me. She asked her friends about me and sought me out.

I mistook her interest in me as both mental and physical. But, yes, it wasn't physical.

I was older and mature in my early 30s worked fulltime, I spoke on intellectual topics in a kind of semi-British accent. She was 18, very attractive and struggling with study in college and partying/working part time in retail. I think now she just must have thought it was cool to have an older male friend to stand out to her friends that she also had brains to hang out with me (she used to listen to me talk for hours) or help in her personal development (perhaps?).

While I happily remained friends and went out with her, I should have realised what was happening instead of thinking with my dick.



Teach51
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19 Jul 2020, 8:54 am

cyberdad wrote:
Teach51 wrote:
Was she superficial or just not attracted to you? That's hardly her fault.What is more valuable in the long term, hook ups or friendship?


A lot of the girls I knew (including this one) were initially attracted to me. She asked her friends about me and sought me out.

I mistook her interest in me as both mental and physical. But, yes, it wasn't physical.

I was older and mature in my early 30s worked fulltime, I spoke on intellectual topics in a kind of semi-British accent. She was 18, very attractive and struggling with study in college and partying/working part time in retail. I think now she just must have thought it was cool to have an older male friend to stand out to her friends that she also had brains to hang out with me (she used to listen to me talk for hours) or help in her personal development (perhaps?).

While I happily remained friends and went out with her, I should have realised what was happening instead of thinking with my dick.



Lol in Hebrew the word for a man is "gever," the verb " lehitgaber"
גבר
להתגבר
This means to overcome.
להתגבר על יצרו
To overcome his urges, passions.
Men have this challenge of thinking with their brains as opposed to their penis, it's sometimes too poweful and it gets them into a lot of trouble :)


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ReapTheWhirlwind
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24 Jul 2020, 2:29 am

I'm just replying to the op, don't mind me

All is fair in love and war. There is no way to avoid deceiving someone in a circumstance where you want to see someone's compatibility. You have to pretend to be interested to learn if you actually are interested. I actually had a moral panic a year ago concerning this. I'm super passionate when it comes to the sanctity of vulnerability, and I realized that I had to lie about my feelings just to get to the point where I was comfortable enough to share my secrets with this person. But, as I said, it can't be helped.

Edit: so I read the op, and uh, sounds like a troll or a real douche. Oh well.


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cyberdad
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24 Jul 2020, 4:23 am

Teach51 wrote:

Lol in Hebrew the word for a man is "gever," the verb " lehitgaber"
גבר
להתגבר
This means to overcome.
להתגבר על יצרו
To overcome his urges, passions.
Men have this challenge of thinking with their brains as opposed to their penis, it's sometimes too poweful and it gets them into a lot of trouble :)


Aha....if I had this wisdom when I was in my 20s and 30s I would be a different man, but then brain Vs hormones often the hormones win....



Kiprobalhato
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28 Jul 2020, 5:15 pm

Teach51 wrote:
Lol in Hebrew the word for a man is "gever," the verb " lehitgaber"
גבר
להתגבר
This means to overcome.
להתגבר על יצרו
To overcome his urges, passions.
Men have this challenge of thinking with their brains as opposed to their penis, it's sometimes too poweful and it gets them into a lot of trouble :)


אה, אף פעם לא שמתי לב לקשר בין המילים האלו..
מעניין!


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Pepe
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29 Jul 2020, 12:45 am

cyberdad wrote:
Teach51 wrote:
Was she superficial or just not attracted to you? That's hardly her fault.What is more valuable in the long term, hook ups or friendship?


A lot of the girls I knew (including this one) were initially attracted to me. She asked her friends about me and sought me out.

I mistook her interest in me as both mental and physical. But, yes, it wasn't physical.

I was older and mature in my early 30s worked fulltime, I spoke on intellectual topics in a kind of semi-British accent. She was 18, very attractive and struggling with study in college and partying/working part time in retail. I think now she just must have thought it was cool to have an older male friend to stand out to her friends that she also had brains to hang out with me (she used to listen to me talk for hours) or help in her personal development (perhaps?).

While I happily remained friends and went out with her, I should have realised what was happening instead of thinking with my dick.


The problem with dating someone that young, and hoping for a long term relationship is, they really don't know who they are, at 18, even the mature 18 year olds, imo.

Woody Allen in "Manhatten", as a reference. :wink:



cyberdad
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29 Jul 2020, 1:32 am

Pepe wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Teach51 wrote:
Was she superficial or just not attracted to you? That's hardly her fault.What is more valuable in the long term, hook ups or friendship?


A lot of the girls I knew (including this one) were initially attracted to me. She asked her friends about me and sought me out.

I mistook her interest in me as both mental and physical. But, yes, it wasn't physical.

I was older and mature in my early 30s worked fulltime, I spoke on intellectual topics in a kind of semi-British accent. She was 18, very attractive and struggling with study in college and partying/working part time in retail. I think now she just must have thought it was cool to have an older male friend to stand out to her friends that she also had brains to hang out with me (she used to listen to me talk for hours) or help in her personal development (perhaps?).

While I happily remained friends and went out with her, I should have realised what was happening instead of thinking with my dick.


The problem with dating someone that young, and hoping for a long term relationship is, they really don't know who they are, at 18, even the mature 18 year olds, imo.

Woody Allen in "Manhatten", as a reference. :wink:


Yeah that's true



The_Face_of_Boo
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29 Jul 2020, 3:24 pm

So did the OP get a gf? How long his nose now?



Pepe
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29 Jul 2020, 11:27 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
So did the OP get a gf? How long his nose now?


There is a correlation between the nose and the, you know. 8O
May he lie often. :mrgreen: