Neurotypicals have it made

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Itsa2waystreet2
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09 Jul 2020, 8:15 am

I feel like as an autist, I can never be like my NT peers. Despite graduating college, I am stuck living with parents and underemployed while the NTs are all having relationships, getting promoted, buying houses and cars, etc. I got rid of my Facebook because I got sick of seeing everyone else doing better.

I don’t know what to do with my life.



kraftiekortie
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09 Jul 2020, 8:19 am

NTs frequently have sucky lives, too.



Itsa2waystreet2
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09 Jul 2020, 8:22 am

LOL, no they don’t.
NTs know how to play the social game.



kraftiekortie
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09 Jul 2020, 8:24 am

They also know how to be alcoholics and drug addicts.



Fnord
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09 Jul 2020, 8:40 am

Itsa2waystreet2 wrote:
... NTs know how to play the social game.
Then learn how to do it yourself.

After earning my MSEE, I struggled with finding employment and "fitting in" until I learned to mostly smile, nod my head, and keep my opinions (and complaints) to myself.  I took training at a crisis hotline, where I learned about Effective Listening and the Empathy Model.  I also took acting lessons where I learned how to use movement, posture, and facial expressions.  I have been working ever since.

If all that is standing between you and a career is knowing how to carry on a conversation, then learn how to converse!

:hmph: Cue the "yeah-buts" and the "what-ifs"...


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Fireblossom
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09 Jul 2020, 9:36 am

Eh, plenty of highly educated NTs are in underpaid jobs, jobs that don't match their education or just plain unemployed. Sure, being on the autism spectrum makes getting a job harder, but it's not only us on the spectrum who struggle.



Itsa2waystreet2
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09 Jul 2020, 10:02 am

I really think NTs don’t really struggle though. I don’t know any that are still living at home or struggle with careers or money.

Honestly, if I didn’t have autism, I would have less problems in life.



Fnord
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09 Jul 2020, 10:05 am

Itsa2waystreet2 wrote:
I really think NTs don’t really struggle though.  I don’t know any that are still living at home or struggle with careers or money.  Honestly, if I didn’t have autism, I would have less problems in life.
Are you looking for personal advice, or for people who will justify your complaints against NTs?


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Itsa2waystreet2
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09 Jul 2020, 10:11 am

I just feel that my autism is stopping me from improving myself and I keep getting discouraged



Fnord
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09 Jul 2020, 10:14 am

Itsa2waystreet2 wrote:
I just feel that my autism is stopping me from improving myself and I keep getting discouraged.
Do you feel your autism is stopping you or are you letting your autism stop you?

You say you have graduated college, so autism was not an obstacle there; why should it be an obstacle now?


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Itsa2waystreet2
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09 Jul 2020, 10:28 am

I’m used to the structure of college.



Fnord
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09 Jul 2020, 10:33 am

Itsa2waystreet2 wrote:
I'm used to the structure of college.
Yeah, I also miss university life.  Happily, I've been able to make my own "structure" here at work.  I have my own routine that produces good results, and people respect me for it.

"Why don't you loosen up and relax for once, Fnord?" :roll:

"Because I don't want to go back to being an hourly worker." :evil:


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SecretOpossumCabal
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09 Jul 2020, 11:03 am

I'll never be over 6 feet, i'll never live in a house on the beach. Etc

Some people wish they could walk but are stuck in wheelchairs, some people wish they can hear but are deaf. Then these are those who wish they could talk, but either can't or can't do it very good, whom we are amongst.

We just have to accept it and build our lives around it. We can't run as the NTs do and we'll never run as the NTs do, but that doesn't mean that our lives can't mean something.

I would say though, it's not uncommon for aspies to have a bunch of other comorbid conditions. We do have it harder, and it sucks that we have it harder but these things produce character in the end should we be willing to work with them rather than against. This world sucks, and it sucks especially for aspies because I know for certain that NT compassion is a farce and I would even go so far to say that human compassion is a farce. Humans are fallen creatures and this we also have to accept. Despite our intelligence we can't escape from greed and vanity, in the end it seems we're just like the animals and do as the animals do.

But these things while dark at first are healthy to realize because then we're allowed to individually seek for something greater than what humanity has to offer. Humans in the plural are just no good, but individually we can still become creatures of character, but first we have to realize how crappy we made this world and how we musn't follow the broad masses into the hell they created.



Joe90
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09 Jul 2020, 4:27 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
They also know how to be alcoholics and drug addicts.


I think that is a stereotype. A lot of autistics get into drugs and alcohol too. Not me, though.


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funeralxempire
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09 Jul 2020, 6:07 pm

Itsa2waystreet2 wrote:
LOL, no they don’t.
NTs know how to play the social game.


Perhaps you know ambitious, well-adjusted NTs. I work with a factory full of entees many of whom have varying degrees of shitty lives.

No, they don't live with their parents, but many of them live paycheck to paycheck with others dependent upon them. Compared to living with your own children, living with your parents is easy. (living with both could be the worst)


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kraftiekortie
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09 Jul 2020, 6:12 pm

I know that, Joe.

I know that most NTs and most autistic folks are not drug addicts or alcoholics. I was merely pointing out that NTs don’t all “have it made.”