A landmark study shows what makes a successful relationship.

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Fnord
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29 Jul 2020, 12:46 pm

Source: This CNN Article.

Quote:
Joel and her colleagues analyzed information on more than 11,000 couples, drawn from 43 data sets that tracked those partnerships for an average of a year, to determine the extent to which they could predict the quality of relationships and what measures would best predict that.

What they found is that your own judgment of your relationship -- meaning, how satisfied you feel your partner is or how appreciative you are of your partner -- says more about the quality of your relationship than either of your personalities.

"When it comes to a satisfying relationship, the partnership you build is more important than the partner you pick," Joel wrote in an email to CNN.

In other words, don't focus so much on whether a person fits your type or whether they check all your boxes.  Instead, think about how you're engaging with each other and whether your relationship leaves you feeling satisfied.
Unfortunately, the link provided in the CNN article leads only to a page that includes an abstract of the original research paper, for which you will need a subscription to the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.  Still, the CNN article does provide some useful information.


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Selcouth1
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29 Jul 2020, 1:20 pm

...and in other news, researchers find that water is wet.



Steve1963
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29 Jul 2020, 1:21 pm

Selcouth1 wrote:
...and in other news, researchers find that water is wet.
:lol:



Fnord
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29 Jul 2020, 1:26 pm

Selcouth1 wrote:
...and in other news, researchers find that water is wet.
BINGO!!

The conclusions of the article I cited are indeed what many of us have been claiming all along; it's just nice to (finally) have some expert scientific validation for them.


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rdos
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29 Jul 2020, 2:59 pm

It's not exactly a new study, rather some analysis of other studies. I think their results are a bit fuzzy and doesn't say much beyond what common sense could predict.

At least they concluded that personality traits and matching didn't have much of an effect, but common sense should be able to predict that as well.



The_Face_of_Boo
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29 Jul 2020, 3:23 pm

And the sky is blue.



firemonkey
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Fnord
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29 Jul 2020, 5:01 pm

firemonkey wrote:
https://sci-hub.tw/https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.1917036117

11 page article.
Thanks for to the trouble of finding the study.


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nick007
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29 Jul 2020, 10:35 pm

I'm really not surprised. When I was single & desperately lonely, I believed my biggest problem was that noone was willing to give me half a chance. I really thought I could make a relationship work with most anyone as long as she was wanting to make a relationship work with me. I do not base romantic relationships on things like sexual attraction, chemistry or that spark thing that so many others are obsessed with. I care about substantive things like respect, loyalty, trust, commitment, & willingness to be supportive of each other. I do NOT believe there is such a thing as a perfect partner or relationship. I believe all relationships take some work & that both people need to be willing to talk & discuss things & wanting to find ways to compromise. Me & my current girlfriend do have some problems & issues with each other. There were times we've had major fights/arguments & we've both seriously considered leaving each other at times. However we stuck things through & both tried to find ways to compromise, support each other, & both tried to work on ourselves. We have a much stronger relationship now as a result. We still have our fights & arguments but they're less often & less intense. We both have our various issues we're dealing with & we both accept that with each other & ourselves but we also both know we can improve ourselves some & we try to work on ourselves as well as being supportive of each other.


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auntblabby
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29 Jul 2020, 11:23 pm

i was belatedly given a chance, prolly too late in life to do any good for anybody- hence, i fumbled it badly. mebbe in the next life...



Feyokien
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29 Jul 2020, 11:56 pm

I was a little confused by the CNN article, but the papers conclusions have clarified:

Quote:
Experiencing negative affect, depression, or insecure attachment are surely relationship risk factors. But if people nevertheless manage to establish a relationship characterized by appreciation,
sexual satisfaction, and a lack of conflict—and they perceive
their partner to be committed and responsive
—those individual
risk factors may matter little. That is, relationship quality is
predictable from a variety of constructs, but some matter more
than others, and the most proximal predictors are features that
characterize a person’s perception of the relationship itself.


You can pick a partner because you perceive that you can build a good partnership. 3/4 (in bold) can be identified through establishing friendship, though I understand not everyone is lucky enough to develop reciprocal romantic feelings with a friend.

I don't think individuals need to necessarily the same interests at the start of a relationship to make it work, but rather a sense of openness to others ideas/interests (especially in the case of those on the spectrum).