Rage Quitting Despite a 2 Weeks Notice

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rache123
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16 Aug 2020, 7:50 pm

So I’m not sure how I should word this but I have decided to quit my job due to how a certain supervisor has treated me over the past year. Yes I was upset because she proceeded to yell at me and a coworker when I asked her a fair question. We were picking up after lazy coworkers and wanted to know if she wanted us to stay to help clean up or if they’re going to come back and finish up. Of course since she’s close friends with one of them, she proceeds to yell at us and berate us in front of the entire staff. As a result, I decided to rage quit.

But wait until you read about the things she’s done prior to that. Calling me “dumb” behind my back was one thing. She knew about my ADHD and high functioning autism during this time, and has failed to correct another coworker, who no longer works at my <em>then</em> job, for spouting the words “<em>f_____g</em> dumb” about me when they thought I couldn’t hear or read lips during a busy day. What’s worse is that the latter of of the two, has told me she herself has high functioning autism.

Amazing. Imagine saying you’re autistic and then say ”She’s so f*****g dumb” (about another coworker with the same disability and more, ie aspergers, ADHD, and Auditory Processing Disorder) behind their back thinking they can't read lips and hear you.

So of course I’m set on writing a letter to my boss about why I plan on leaving earlier than I initially thought, as it has been building up over the year.

I’m keeping it super vague to remain professional of course, but I have a dilemma. My family of neurotypicals think I shouldn’t include “called me “dumb” despite knowing my disabilities” in the letter, because they think it would come across as woe is me. I’m not even mentioning the other girl because given that she no longer works there anymore, she’s irrelevant to the situation. Leaving it at “I was called dumb ” makes me feel like I’m a weakling, but if I mention disabilities then it would put more emphasis on why it affected me more deeply. A neurotypical would never understand why that is because they don’t know what it is like. So now I’m stuck on whether or not I should mention the disabilities part or not because I feel very strongly about this, but I was told it was unprofessional and would make me seem like I’m looking for sympathy points.

I would like advice from others who’ve been in the same predicament as me or who works as a manager, and who also has ADHD or what-have-you.

What is the best way to go about this letter?



AuroraBorealisGazer
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16 Aug 2020, 8:01 pm

I don't see anything wrong with mentioning your manager's words in the letter. Saying something like "[manager's name] repeatedly tried to demean me but using language such as 'she's so f***ing dumb' in response to my questions." If it's written in a certain way it will still sound professional and not at all 'woe is me.'



IsabellaLinton
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16 Aug 2020, 8:08 pm

Dear ________,

I'm writing to explain the circumstance behind my rage quit on (date). I have been a dedicated employee for (length of time), and I contributed to your business by (examples of your successful duties). I enjoyed working for (company) but unfortunately, there were issues regarding the conduct of your supervisory staff. (Name) made me feel very uncomfortable on (dates) because of the following incidents, which I believe were unprofessional and unfair.

(Incident reports including dates and witnesses).

I was uncertain how to report these events, and my frustration / embarrassment led to an impulsive decision to quit.

I would like to request guidance from (head office / human resources) about the management policies of (company), the rights of your disabled workers, and the steps required in filing a grievance, in the event that I cannot continue my good work for your team.

Please contact me at ____________.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,
Me


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rache123
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16 Aug 2020, 9:49 pm

Unfortunately, that happened a while ago so I don't remember the exact dates, and I'm mad at myself for not thinking of telling HR sooner. I left a vague message to my manager tonight and I did leave a little snippet where I mentioned ”called me dumb despite my disabilities.”

That incident of her making a scene happened today, and that was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

I will definitely use this as a template if this ever happens again, so thank you.



idntonkw
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16 Aug 2020, 9:55 pm

rache123 wrote:
So I’m not sure how I should word this but I have decided to quit my job due to how a certain supervisor has treated me over the past year. Yes I was upset because she proceeded to yell at me and a coworker when I asked her a fair question. We were picking up after lazy coworkers and wanted to know if she wanted us to stay to help clean up or if they’re going to come back and finish up. Of course since she’s close friends with one of them, she proceeds to yell at us and berate us in front of the entire staff. As a result, I decided to rage quit.

But wait until you read about the things she’s done prior to that. Calling me “dumb” behind my back was one thing. She knew about my ADHD and high functioning autism during this time, and has failed to correct another coworker, who no longer works at my <em>then</em> job, for spouting the words “<em>f_____g</em> dumb” about me when they thought I couldn’t hear or read lips during a busy day. What’s worse is that the latter of of the two, has told me she herself has high functioning autism.

Amazing. Imagine saying you’re autistic and then say ”She’s so f*****g dumb” (about another coworker with the same disability and more, ie aspergers, ADHD, and Auditory Processing Disorder) behind their back thinking they can't read lips and hear you.

So of course I’m set on writing a letter to my boss about why I plan on leaving earlier than I initially thought, as it has been building up over the year.

I’m keeping it super vague to remain professional of course, but I have a dilemma. My family of neurotypicals think I shouldn’t include “called me “dumb” despite knowing my disabilities” in the letter, because they think it would come across as woe is me. I’m not even mentioning the other girl because given that she no longer works there anymore, she’s irrelevant to the situation. Leaving it at “I was called dumb ” makes me feel like I’m a weakling, but if I mention disabilities then it would put more emphasis on why it affected me more deeply. A neurotypical would never understand why that is because they don’t know what it is like. So now I’m stuck on whether or not I should mention the disabilities part or not because I feel very strongly about this, but I was told it was unprofessional and would make me seem like I’m looking for sympathy points.

I would like advice from others who’ve been in the same predicament as me or who works as a manager, and who also has ADHD or what-have-you.

What is the best way to go about this letter?


The letter will have no effect on the manager.. rage quitting will is actually unnecessary and will create problems rather then solve them.. instead, hang in there and be polite, they don't have any interest or actual need to know what you think. Your interest is to have a job, and sending the letter will be seen as a disqualification and will get you fired.



rache123
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16 Aug 2020, 11:41 pm

No. What I've mentioned in my post doesn't even scratch the surface of what I had to deal with. I already have a job lined up and they knew I was quitting anyway.

It doesn't matter whether it affects the supervisor (not manager) to me, because I refuse to be mistreated in that way. I said my piece, and what they decide to do with it is up to them and if they want to risk their already high turnover rate then that's on them too.



idntonkw
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17 Aug 2020, 3:27 am

rache123 wrote:
No. What I've mentioned in my post doesn't even scratch the surface of what I had to deal with. I already have a job lined up and they knew I was quitting anyway.

It doesn't matter whether it affects the supervisor (not manager) to me, because I refuse to be mistreated in that way. I said my piece, and what they decide to do with it is up to them and if they want to risk their already high turnover rate then that's on them too.


good that you have a job lined up.. you will look like someone who overreacts because working with difficult people including managers is actually a skill.. you have to adapt to your workplace, rather than demand it adapt to you..



rache123
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17 Aug 2020, 8:44 am

Because being mistreated and abused at work makes me someone who overreacts. Maybe you got ahead by letting people step on you like a doormat but I do not tolerate it. I can work with all kinds of people believe it or not, you haven't been in my shoes though.

And you act like I do this for every job I take. I'll give you a hint, I don't.



IsabellaLinton
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17 Aug 2020, 8:48 am

idntonkw wrote:
rache123 wrote:
No. What I've mentioned in my post doesn't even scratch the surface of what I had to deal with. I already have a job lined up and they knew I was quitting anyway.

It doesn't matter whether it affects the supervisor (not manager) to me, because I refuse to be mistreated in that way. I said my piece, and what they decide to do with it is up to them and if they want to risk their already high turnover rate then that's on them too.


good that you have a job lined up.. you will look like someone who overreacts because working with difficult people including managers is actually a skill.. you have to adapt to your workplace, rather than demand it adapt to you..


She isn't demanding that her workplace adapt. She's asking to review their policies and guidelines, which is well within her rights as an employee. She's learning to self-advocate and to promote an awareness of mental health employment law. Her company will benefit from this information in the long run, so they aren't charged with human rights violations and so they don't go out of business from unreported, poor leadership.


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idntonkw
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17 Aug 2020, 7:16 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
idntonkw wrote:
rache123 wrote:
No. What I've mentioned in my post doesn't even scratch the surface of what I had to deal with. I already have a job lined up and they knew I was quitting anyway.

It doesn't matter whether it affects the supervisor (not manager) to me, because I refuse to be mistreated in that way. I said my piece, and what they decide to do with it is up to them and if they want to risk their already high turnover rate then that's on them too.


good that you have a job lined up.. you will look like someone who overreacts because working with difficult people including managers is actually a skill.. you have to adapt to your workplace, rather than demand it adapt to you..


She isn't demanding that her workplace adapt. She's asking to review their policies and guidelines, which is well within her rights as an employee. She's learning to self-advocate and to promote an awareness of mental health employment law. Her company will benefit from this information in the long run, so they aren't charged with human rights violations and so they don't go out of business from unreported, poor leadership.


If you follow the policies and guidelines you won't be able to be productive and make money.. nobody follows them completely, it's subjective. The company won't care that she left and they won't care what her concerns were because she is no longer there.. you can only advocate while you are there.. if they don't want to keep you, they won't make accomodations.. the group won't be interested in changing their ways.. since inherently, there is more effort in that rather than having the employee adapt.



rache123
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19 Aug 2020, 12:01 pm

Actually my head boss, as in the manager and not the supervisor, was very empathetic and wanted to know my side of the story. We talked on the phone and I told him the main reason I left was because I had a strong conviction that the other coworkers will lie to cover their tracks, and his response was “turns out they already lied” and that he was sorry that me and my partner had to deal with that. I apologized for not letting him know sooner because I wasn’t sure how react at the time I was called “f*****g dumb” and how the anger grew to the point where that day was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

No I am not going to do it with every job but I know now how to deal with things like this better and how to defend myself in a more professional way. So in retrospect, me and my boss still ended on good terms and your opinion is a bunch of bollocks.



IsabellaLinton
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20 Aug 2020, 9:23 am

rache123 wrote:
Actually my head boss, as in the manager and not the supervisor, was very empathetic and wanted to know my side of the story. We talked on the phone and I told him the main reason I left was because I had a strong conviction that the other coworkers will lie to cover their tracks, and his response was “turns out they already lied” and that he was sorry that me and my partner had to deal with that. I apologized for not letting him know sooner because I wasn’t sure how react at the time I was called “f*****g dumb” and how the anger grew to the point where that day was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

No I am not going to do it with every job but I know now how to deal with things like this better and how to defend myself in a more professional way. So in retrospect, me and my boss still ended on good terms and your opinion is a bunch of bollocks.



:P

I'm really proud of you for speaking up the way you did. It's not OK to be called "f*****g dumb" or "f*****ng ignorant", or insulted in a public setting. As I had hoped, your manager was professional enough to empathise and support your mental health without insinuating you were a snowflake or weakling. I think this is a cause for celebration!! :heart:


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20 Aug 2020, 9:42 am

Yes, well done for stating your case and possibly making it better for others in the future, AND taking yourself out of that nasty situation.

I raise my dragon hat to ya.