I have no friends in school

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Before I was in H.S., people always treated me as an odd one. It sucked. Kids used to make fun of me at lunch time and during P.E. It sucked. Girls would look the other way when I tried to strike up conversation. H.S. was scarcely better, except that many called me a genius and the like and that really gave me more confidence that at least I could SOMETHING right, well study I mean. But beyond that, H.S. was a bore and a waste of my time and I had only 3 good friends in that whole 3 years I was down here in Florida. College was still bad for a couple of years, then something changed. I was sure I was good at what I chose to be good at, and from that flowed the confidence that often helps me greatly. Yeah, sometimes I'm nervous about going to new places, new settings, meeting new people. But's it largely the interesting friends I've made, the girls I had a chance with (at least for sex if not much more in most cases) that have made me sure of my own Self. I tell you though Byrlawson, it was my old roommate, who was more Aspie than me!, that taught me some of the secrets of "proper" social interactions, and despite that I'm still considered a wild and unruly guy!
Anyhow, you can do it! Whatever it is you want. I believe that. It might take a long time, it took me years of careful practice to even remotely blend into this harsh fuc@#$ NT world we live in, but I did it and I hope you can too. And have some fun bro.

Before I was in H.S., people always treated me as an odd one. It sucked. Kids used to make fun of me at lunch time and during P.E. It sucked. Girls would look the other way when I tried to strike up conversation. H.S. was scarcely better, except that many called me a genius and the like and that really gave me more confidence that at least I could SOMETHING right, well study I mean. But beyond that, H.S. was a bore and a waste of my time and I had only 3 good friends in that whole 3 years I was down here in Florida. College was still bad for a couple of years, then something changed. I was sure I was good at what I chose to be good at, and from that flowed the confidence that often helps me greatly. Yeah, sometimes I'm nervous about going to new places, new settings, meeting new people. But's it largely the interesting friends I've made, the girls I had a chance with (at least for sex if not much more in most cases) that have made me sure of my own Self. I tell you though Byrlawson, it was my old roommate, who was more Aspie than me!, that taught me some of the secrets of "proper" social interactions, and despite that I'm still considered a wild and unruly guy!
Anyhow, you can do it! Whatever it is you want. I believe that. It might take a long time, it took me years of careful practice to even remotely blend into this harsh fuc@#$ NT world we live in, but I did it and I hope you can too. And have some fun bro.

Before I was in H.S., people always treated me as an odd one. It sucked. Kids used to make fun of me at lunch time and during P.E. It sucked. Girls would look the other way when I tried to strike up conversation. H.S. was scarcely better, except that many called me a genius and the like and that really gave me more confidence that at least I could SOMETHING right, well study I mean. But beyond that, H.S. was a bore and a waste of my time and I had only 3 good friends in that whole 3 years I was down here in Florida. College was still bad for a couple of years, then something changed. I was sure I was good at what I chose to be good at, and from that flowed the confidence that often helps me greatly. Yeah, sometimes I'm nervous about going to new places, new settings, meeting new people. But's it largely the interesting friends I've made, the girls I had a chance with (at least for sex if not much more in most cases) that have made me sure of my own Self. I tell you though Byrlawson, it was my old roommate, who was more Aspie than me!, that taught me some of the secrets of "proper" social interactions, and despite that I'm still considered a wild and unruly guy!
Anyhow, you can do it! Whatever it is you want. I believe that. It might take a long time, it took me years of careful practice to even remotely blend into this harsh fuc@#$ NT world we live in, but I did it and I hope you can too. And have some fun bro.

Before I was in H.S., people always treated me as an odd one. It sucked. Kids used to make fun of me at lunch time and during P.E. It sucked. Girls would look the other way when I tried to strike up conversation. H.S. was scarcely better, except that many called me a genius and the like and that really gave me more confidence that at least I could SOMETHING right, well study I mean. But beyond that, H.S. was a bore and a waste of my time and I had only 3 good friends in that whole 3 years I was down here in Florida. College was still bad for a couple of years, then something changed. I was sure I was good at what I chose to be good at, and from that flowed the confidence that often helps me greatly. Yeah, sometimes I'm nervous about going to new places, new settings, meeting new people. But's it largely the interesting friends I've made, the girls I had a chance with (at least for sex if not much more in most cases) that have made me sure of my own Self. I tell you though Byrlawson, it was my old roommate, who was more Aspie than me!, that taught me some of the secrets of "proper" social interactions, and despite that I'm still considered a wild and unruly guy!
Anyhow, you can do it! Whatever it is you want. I believe that. It might take a long time, it took me years of careful practice to even remotely blend into this harsh fuc@#$ NT world we live in, but I did it and I hope you can too. And have some fun bro.

It seems I was not fair and you do not deserve what I told about you. I have experienced most of the positive things you write here as well when I started going to university but I was in my mid-twenties then.

I have a big box here with the advice "go out more and have fun" that got filled up by well meaning people for 20 years. It is the sheer sound of these words that drives me mad because all they did was telling me about a deficiency I already knew about again, again and again. My posts were most probably driven be emotion, unwise and unreflected.

Sorry. I did neither want to hurt or provoke anyone nor do him injustice. I will do better in the future.

Okay, I am going to frank and honest here. What striked me most in your post was

"I would be positively delighted if a woman, preferrably attractive and with nice tatts, pushed me away and said, "Go away!" and meant it I would be delighted, of course I wouldn't go anywhere, and neither should you."

Giving these words first and then telling the rest of the story provided a very explosive mixture for me. I am frustrated being 30 this year and still not having what could come close to a relationship.

That overall thing was very provocative to me but is certainly not your fault or anyone's else, just mine. I confess I would have preferred you being a bit more reluctant about that and a bit less showing your success. So yes, I most probably just envy you.

If, like me, you're not too confident around the NTs, don't try to pretend to be 'cool' or anything just to fit in. Believe me, that is like getting a one way ticket to bully town. My advice is to find someone else who, like yourself is a bit of an outcast, basically someone who is more likely to be tolerant of you. The last thing you want is to make 'friends' with some jerk who's going to ditch you within a few weeks and make the rest of your school days miserable.

At my middle school, there was a whole group of us 'outcasts'. There's safety in numbers!

(1214683=safety...)

_________________
I have HFA, ADHD, OCD & Tourette syndrome. I love animals, especially my bunnies and hamster. I skate in a roller derby team (but I'll try not to bite )

Nobody should consider himself a helpless case. But there is more to that than just confidence issues. You can be shy and clumsy but certainly not be an aspie. Confidence does it all in those cases. You can have learning issues and social difficulties while never encountering autism. You can be overprotected by your parents, terrorized by siblings or make other experiencea causing you trouble. This is not AS. I do not talk about those cases here.

I also do not talk about adult life where aspies can have all the comfort they want, do the things they can do well or better than others and being respected and admired for what and how they are. This is adult life. Feeling welcomed to this world is absolutely great and it is there for you. For most if not for all aspies. Here you need the motivation and the confidence to use your chances and opportunities. There are three parts when it comes to opportunies: Having, seeing and using them.

But this thread here is about school. I hate to state it like that: There is no easy way. The resistance, often enough matching the notion of hostility aspies most likely experience is not imaginary or a matter of wrong perception: It is real.

Other kids and teenagers will realize an aspie is different. You can try hiding it but when you realized it, others will have realized it as well. Being different is a big issue here and while to stand up for oneself with confidence is a great thing in adult life being unvoluntarily different is a very bad thing in school because the big game played here means to make the best fit. To expect an autistic child to cope with that is expecting way too much. Having world and common sense against you is nothing you can cope with at the moment it happens to you.

I hate the notion that aspies would not have the guts to get themselves a life. This is not fair. An aspie who got through school with good or normal grades has already achieved more in his life than many NTs will be able to because NTs will never experience the same constant resistance and objection to their inner self aspies have to face from people around them for years. Not because an aspie would voluntarily do so but because an aspie hardly has got a choice.

I can only give a few advices here for those in school: Do not give it up! There is much more to life than the years in school. But you will never get to that without proper education (better let's call it a typical education). This also is true for NTs but certainly much more for aspies.

The social situation in school is one of the worst and hardest challenges an aspie can encounter. It is no surprise you are not coping well with it, it would be if you did. You can make choices with worse and better results and there is some degree of control. But the overall notion of failure that likely accompanies your life in school is simply not your fault.

I do not state it will be totally easy and that you will never have problems again once you are finished with school. But the odds for adult life being much better and offering many ways to success are certainly on the aspies' side.

(The former text only applies to people having been diagnosed with Asperger Syndrom. There are other problems and disorders affecting social life and school success. My words do not apply there. It is no reasonable strategy to excuse personal failure by sticking to the idea of having AS. That would not get you anywhere and is highly unfair towards the people who really have to cope with autistic disorders.)

I was a loner for pretty much my entire high school year. I'm hoping to turn over a new life.. leaf when I start at ASU this fall. I'm pretty excited about it. Can't wait!

Maybe some of them would, but not others. You're not doing yourself any favors with defeatist speculation, you know!

What type of school is it--college, univ., big or small?

It's a small state school (about 6,000 students) about 115 miles northwest of the Dallas-Fort Worth area. The name of the school is Midwestern State University, it's a very good school.

As for the type of person I am looking for, I have pretty much a rough idea. As for age, I do prefer people closer to my age (late 20s/early 30s), but I realize that many college students are younger than that.

Tim

If it's a University College, then it should have grad students and undergrads. Most of these will be in their mid-late twenties, I would imagine. And many people in university studies take a year or more off, to travel, make money, and decide if it's really what they want.

Of course, you'll only meet a fraction of the 6000 people you're surrounded by. So the overall population doesn't really matter; it's more of a proportional thing. I went to a school of 40,000, but the program I was in was small. I only met a few dozen people to talk to, some of them were older. If you want to meet lots of people, you may want to find an on-campus job.