Getting really tired of this.

Post Reply New Topic

The more I hang around forums like this one (I only even know of two) the more I realize that not only is there next to zero respect in the world for people on the spectrum, but that there's almost as little respect among viewpoints here as a result. Forget second chances says almost everyone here, we're the ones asking for unlimited 'chances' just by talking to almost anyone.

Most of the people I figured really understood me are just gone as a result of pointlessly overblown misunderstandings.

People f**k things up sometimes. I fail to see that as an excuse for this level of indifference towards our common humanity.

My measure of common decency is the way we treat those we think we have nothing in common with. Here I am watching everyone the world over fail that simple test.

I'm definitely not optimistic about ever recovering a social life anymore. Pandemic responses have done nothing to equalize anyone.

... Add my affinity for experimental technology to the mix & this is a recipe for totally divorcing myself from the idea of people like Pepe.

Using my intuition instead of this mountain of rationalizations is strongly frowned upon.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that Earth has major trust issues.

I think we may have differed on a subject or two, but man I hope you are ok. I assume that everybody posting here is a good person whatever our views on things, and I want nothing but the best from my most caustic critic.

Hope you feel better!

Seconding this!

I try not to reply if I disagree unless I think I can manage to impart something remotely helpful (or at least humorous).

I hope you feel better

Thanks folks, truth be told I don't know where my brain floated off to today. I should be editing architectural model assets or my CV, but sometimes I can't concentrate until I get a word out to the universe about how much mistreatment goes on in the world.

There I go again, I *kind of* just applied for two more years of survey & civil engineering career development work, instead of ever texting anyone. I haven't been social electronically in years, now everyone seems to believe I should radically change that. Damned if I do, damned if I don't.

Woohoo yay I know lots of construction technologies! Can't say I ever saw that on anyone's dating profile...

I feel the same as these two posters.

I have unusual work that is difficult to describe. There is no one to talk to except my two colleagues who work with me for 12 and 20 years. It is lonely sometimes. I have learned to mostly keep it all inside.

I wish for you more connections to the world.

I'll be the fourth on that

Life for me as a woman with asperger's has always felt like a game of tag with me always being "it".

... whereas it's all hide & seek on my end...

I guess I'm describing some weird blend of paranoia & consequential agoraphobia and/or misanthropy.

Thing is, the paranoia is contagious & I'm not even sure it was mine to begin with.

It's not like I want to be right about these things. My inclination towards all these cynical reservations seems entirely based on the isolation.

At the same time I'm hopeful & completely checked out.

I should be clear that this also doesn't mean I've become oblivious to the good side of people, it seems more like they don't care if I see that these days. Ultimately I'm just not in enough contact with anyone I've ever connected with emotionally, my technical brain is too loud.

Considering how much I appreciate any & all support in my life, I guess that doesn't mean I always know what it looks like. Seeing posts here draws few if any parallels to my real life observations. I guess I'm still rambling about my nonexistent love life because the alternative would be my psyche imploding.

Women who've gotten close to me are integral to my actual mind; not that they're interested in the unending thought experiments. From what I know I'm far too tied up in my work to do much of anything for them & I'm remiss that I might not ever get the chance to explain to them how I feel again. Ultimately nobody really cares what obscurely advanced new technology they brought about by virtue of helping me not die. I kind of have nothing else to show for all the time spent away from them.

As clear as it is that practically no one can relate, I'm still thankful for the someone helped me out once upon a time, even if she's not too clear about how or why. I don't get it either but without people like her in my life I lose perspective.

I mean this is someone who found me when I knew nobody was looking for me. Neither of us really know what to think about this. Not too many other people ever really got close & it's sort of miraculous not only that she's still around occasionally but that I'm still alive as well.

I don't have any sort of plan. Colorado is on fire in a pandemic anyway.

I think the problem is that I can't forsee this chain of disasters ending. It's become tricky to mentally compartmentalize between my own isolation & everyone's.