Anyone terrified of being alone for the rest of their life?

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I'm not bitter, and I agree with Temeraire.
How do you reconcile that?

The intent was to give some perspective.
To alleviate distress.
Autie Auntie was doing the same.
You seem to be outvoted here, at the moment at least.

You only *think* you feel lonely sometimes.
Erm,

Yes, that is actually a correct logical statement.
Stop thinking that way.
Easy peasy.

You could be gang stalked! EEP!

Time isn't running out to establish deep platonic friendships.
The coupling relationship is *primarily* designed, by the evolutionary process, for the purpose of procreation.
This type of relationship can be very/extremely pleasant, but it is not without heavy compromise and can result in agonising heartbreak, if things don't go well.

People can and do transcend these instinctual needs if circumstance denies this NT social trope.

Time isn't running out to establish deep platonic friendships.


I Long to Know Their Flesh

Last edited by Romofan on 05 Sep 2020, 8:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I feel you.
Errr,
Not *you*.
You know what I mean.

Yes, the evolution process is a biatch.
I have similar feelings.
But that is where discipline comes into it.

I'm older than you and probably have less testosterone in my system, which may make things easier for me, but this simply strengthens my argument/position.

The only reason you crave flesh on a biological level is because of your sex hormones.
Without those, you would have no physical cravings.

If you accept this, then perhaps *some* of your urges can be *alleviated* through pure physical indulgence.
Sex establishments are created for these specific situations.
Porn is a much less expensive method of managing the libido for many/most of us.

Yes, a sense of genuine intimacy is a very real need, but it is a manipulative device created by the evolutionary process.

"The Truth shall set you free."
The Oracle of Truth has spoken.

I actually agree with you Pepe.

"Friends" over "Rear Ends!"

Erm.
Both would be good.

Perhaps "A rear end" with emotional benefits?

Why am I alone? I'm an autistic male. Enough said.

.

Whilst I've had partners in the past it's never worked out in the long term, and having been alone for nearly a decade I've had to face the possibility that I might never find a life partner.

I cope with it partly by immersing myself in the music I make and partly by the age-old crutches of smoking weed and drinking. The amount I'm drinking could easily take 20 years off my life according to my doctor, but I don't care as with no partner or offspring I've no particular desire to live to be 100 anyway. Early to mid 70s would be long enough for me.

I was very worried about that when I was single. After my 1st relationship fell apart I was desperately lonely for 8 years straight with no luck. I tried alternative approaches to getting a girlfriend. I sought out women who were non-mainstream & who were kinda outsiders & who had what others would consider problems & issues. I relate to those types of people better since I have lots of various issues & problems myself. I figured someone like that could be more accepting & understanding of someone like me & she might would be more willing to give me half a chance since her options for partners may be more limited. If I would of had the money & resources I would of tried the mail-order bride route. & if I would of had my own place I would of taken in a woman who needed a place to stay. I knew a couple women online who would of been willing to move in with me & give me a chance for a bit but I didn't have my own place, it was sorta in the works but didn't materialize. I eventually met my 2nd girlfriend on this forum when I was 28 but things did not work out for various reasons. Shortly after that relationship ended, I met my current girlfriend on here. She's different than the stereotypical Aspie in some ways but I am as well.

For a very long time I was. I suppose I was around 12 when when I began to fret and be depressed about it.

I want to clarify though, it has always been more. More involved than a simple fear of always being singular - without a relationship. My younger years I didn't realize this but it was after being in a couple relationships that I was able to identify the actual seeded fear. To say I was afraid of always being able is true, it is the simplest way to say it, but it's definitely more than what people typically interpret it as.

Why am I not terrified anymore? Honestly I'm not sure. Complacency, got use to the idea, gotten use to the aloneness, understanding of certain things, given up? Or maybe a priority change.

In terms of comfort; then and now, there really isn't any. There are some things that can abate the feeling, like seeing innate dysfunction between many spouses but it's not comforting. "As long as one keeps trying there is always a chance" is a truth, but I never found that comforting either.

I certainly had this same fear and didn't find an amazing partner until I was 32. Yes, this year. But the thing is putting yourself out there. Expect rejection, embrace rejection but accept it. It makes you stronger and the more rejection you receive, the more you will grow and not only learn about you but learn about others. As I tried dating for only the first time last year, I quickly adapted and learned over time who to look for and who to not look for. I learned about myself along the way too and adapted from my mistakes. The problem most of us have is we simply do not....try. Throughout my 20's, I was a coward and never even bothered with trying. Getting past the fear of dating is actually harder then trying dating itself. I say this. It's never too late to finally say. Enough! At 31, I said enough!! !

Parental/social conditioning has a lot to do with people fretting about being single.

Indeed it can.

I was raised by a single mother, so being single wasn't the worry for me. It was just that having a partner (the RIGHT partner I've since learned) would remedy the things I was actually scared of.

the right partner is as rare as hen's teeth.