I Loose Friends. (Not What You Think. Read On).

Page 1 of 1 [ 4 posts ] 

Mountain Goat
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 May 2019
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,694
Location: Wales.

16 Sep 2020, 11:04 am

First of all I have very few friends and through my life, I have either had no friends or one friend, and they are normally a different age to me.
But I do have lots of "People I know" who are not close enough to be friends in that I could not call in on them unless I had an excuse and I don't know them well enough to call in etc without it being an emergency?

Now what do I mean by I can loose friends? (I use the term friends very loosely to include both groups).

Prosopragnosia. I sometimes am surprized if I look in the mirror at what I look like. I was in a secondary school with 810 pupils (When I started) which increased by the time I finished school five years later.
Yet strangely, I have lost nearly every person I was in school with except for one (I don't know where he lives but he calls in once a year or once every other year and sometimes twice a year).
Somehow though I loose people as I do not recognize them

People I have worked with. I have lost them. Ooh. I can think of someone I was in primary school with and his parents live near here. I sometimes see him.

I sometimes get people beeping their cars at me and waving. No idea who they are. They seem to know me? Happens when I drive past those one way signs... (Joking. My humour about the one way signs! Haha!)

I have had complete conversations with people who seem to know me and I don't know who they are, and it is impolite to ask. (Even if I did ask I also have trouble remembering names so they would have to say where I know them from and some key thing which will make me remember).

Anyone else relate?

It reached the stage because I had upset aunts and a cousin by not knowing who ghey were when I saw them where I did not expect them to be so I apparently ignored them, that I started smiling and greeting everyone I passec just incase.... But that was exhausting and I could not keep it up for long.


_________________
Awaiting asessment. Neurodiverse 173/200. Neurotypical 21/200. Empathy 11/80. AQ 39. https://everything2.com/user/Zifendorf/ ... s/shutdown


green0star
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Apr 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,403
Location: blah

16 Sep 2020, 11:36 am

I literally haven't had friends since grade school actually ... Most of my friends now are from the internet and I haven't met any of them in person



Mountain Goat
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 May 2019
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,694
Location: Wales.

16 Sep 2020, 11:46 am

Aww. I hope you can find a nice friend who understands you and you understand them.


_________________
Awaiting asessment. Neurodiverse 173/200. Neurotypical 21/200. Empathy 11/80. AQ 39. https://everything2.com/user/Zifendorf/ ... s/shutdown


ToughDiamond
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Sep 2008
Age: 67
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,540

16 Sep 2020, 12:09 pm

Yes I can relate to that. I've lost touch with tons of people who I used to be friends with. I think a lot of it is because I don't bother to seek them out or chase after them if they should drop off the radar. I don't put a lot of conscious effort into maintaining friendships. If somebody stops contacting me, I usually just think they've probably lost interest or they're busy, and leave them to it. I nearly always reciprocate if somebody approaches me though, and this failure to maintain friendships isn't 100%, just not very strong generally.

I've always had a problem approaching people, making overtures to them, suggesting we meet, inviting them to do this or that. I like the idea of being invitational and I have sometimes done it, and it's sometimes felt good, but for some reason it doesn't seem to be in my DNA, so generally speaking it's not that likely happen. It might be down to a deep-rooted fear of rejection. How ever I managed to end up with girlfriends and wives, I don't know. A lot of people seem to think that if a man doesn't actively chase women he'll never be in a relationship, but clearly that's not necessarily true. I made a bit of effort here and there, but that's all.