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Sahn
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17 Sep 2020, 7:51 am

Conversational fails, overwhelm, lonlyness.



Mountain Goat
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17 Sep 2020, 8:02 am

Pieplup wrote:
Mountain Goat wrote:
Pieplup wrote:
Mountain Goat wrote:
Pieplup wrote:
Mountain Goat wrote:
Pieplup wrote:
It's easily burnout.


I agree and the shutdowns.

I don't have shutdowns but I can imagine they'd be quite annoying



The most annoying thing about them was that I never knew what they were or how to describe them.
That other people thought I was making it up.
The "Ignore them and they will go away"...
Or "He always does this to get out of work" (When my brother asked for me to help him and it was an unexpected change of plan).
I feel the same way about burnout.


Burnout is horrible. The effects last a long time. Takes me a long time to recover and I am concerned. I hit the last burnout in september when I was working last, and I am still going in and out of the fragile stage. I am better then I was but it is taking ages. I still can't do some things I would take for granted. It is hard to explain to those who may see me and know me and they may not understand. I don't understand so how can I tell them? How can I explain?
People who expect me to do things for them... I am made to feel guilty that I am not the same as before. They don't understand.
It is not that doing tasks themselves is not possible. It is that the effort to do them is too much for me to cope with since hitting burnout.

It feels like I hit some sort of mental breakdown.

Each burnout I hit hit me harder then the one before, and it was only the last burnout that hit me that I knew what it was called. Past burnouts I could not explain. I could not tell doctors. I did not even know how to so I did not even try. I just would quit work and quit as many responsibilities as I can.
idk for me it's just like Tries to do something consistently for 2 weeks which normal people would have no problem doing burns out instantly. Amazing


It maybe a different experience of burnout to what I have had. It could be what I have experienced is not a burnout at all but rather more of a breakdown? Who knows?

It is interesting.


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Mountain Goat
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17 Sep 2020, 8:06 am

domineekee wrote:
Conversational fails, overwhelm, lonlyness.


We are here to solve the lonliness. :D Not sure how some of you would cope with me in real life. I am tame really. :D

Haha. I can imagine it. "Oh noo. It's Mountain Goat again! Quick. Pretend not to be here!"

Sorry. Is my humour. Chat away Domineekee. In the forum we are not alone. :)


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dragonsanddemons
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17 Sep 2020, 9:44 am

I think I have two things that pretty much tie. One, hypersensitivity, particularly with noise, crowds, and also with changing from dry to wet or wet to dry (which makes showering/bathing a real problem). Two, my particular severity level, and the fact that my functioning ability varies (I guess that's technically two and three). The former means I'm too disabled by it to do without help but not disabled enough to actually get it. The latter means people see me at my best and assume I'm always capable of that and that if I don't act like it, it's only because I'm not trying hard enough, I don't care, or I just don't want to do things. That's probably a large part of where my self-esteem issues come from, because I grew up being told my best (not that people actually believed it was my best) was not good enough.


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Fnord
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17 Sep 2020, 9:50 am

The worst part of autism for me is that even after I have explained in great detail what autism really is, I still get responses like, "So ... just how ret*d are autistic people, anyway?"

:wall: ... no ... no ... no ... no ... no ...


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Jiheisho
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17 Sep 2020, 9:55 am

Davideus85 wrote:
What is the worst thing about having autism?


A world designed for neurotypicals.



livingwithautism
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17 Sep 2020, 10:50 am

Communication.



ASPartOfMe
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17 Sep 2020, 11:08 am

Executive Dysfunctioning


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17 Sep 2020, 11:58 am

Was a burden on my parents because of my symptoms and behaviours, from the ages of about 4 to 24, and I said and did some things that I wish I could take back

Being different or an odd person, because no matter how good I mask and how good my social skills are, NT women can sense something off about me and they back away, which hurts me a lot

Having other women stare at me in the street when I know I don't do anything abnormal to attract any negative attention

Remembering my teen years as lonely, socially isolating and depressing times

Special interests: got me into trouble before, which was embarrassing and cost me a lot of friends

Needing routine: used to have outbursts if routine was disrupted, and outbursts aren't good, especially for other people around you (I took it out on the people I love the most)

Sensory issues: makes me hate crowds and noisy kids, to the point where it stirs up anger and hatred inside me, which makes me feel like I'm a bad person for wanting to whack a toddler for screaming near me, or whacking the parents for not controlling their kid

Having to pay £9 a month to keep my sanity

Having odd thoughts, like having such high empathy for objects, that throwing objects away or destroying them causes me great anxiety and sometimes tearfulness. Even cutting an apple up makes me anxious, because I imagine it as a person or an animal, and I get so anxious. This probably comes from having an overactive imagination

Getting extremely offended when certain words are said to me - words that don't typically offend other people


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Steve1963
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17 Sep 2020, 12:12 pm

Joe90 wrote:
Having to pay £9 a month to keep my sanity
:?:



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17 Sep 2020, 3:19 pm

Steve1963 wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
Having to pay £9 a month to keep my sanity
:?:


My antidepressants cost £9 and I need them to prevent losing control of rage outbursts. I don't want to risk coming off them.


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winterfresh
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18 Sep 2020, 2:57 am

Socializing.



Mountain Goat
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18 Sep 2020, 3:55 am

Socializing when it is all smalltalk so that it is as if one is not there and yet one has to sit or stand politely, and if one tries to talk about something interesting instead they don't like it... So one is left standing there or sitting there and gets more and more frustrated!... So one tries to use distraction techniques and either looks at something elsewhere, or zones out into the depths of ones mind and they don't like that either!

Yet I have to zone out. If I don't I will start to tell them off for talking nonsence as it is frustrating but I am supposed to be polite and well behaved so I would be looked down on if I did...
Haha! At least they would have something proper to talk about if I did! Hahaha! But there again... If they dis they would most likely talk about it to someone who does not know me and that person could be like me and get frustrated and they would have another person to talk about... Ooh. I wonder if that is how it would work? I want to try it now out of curiosity! But how would I know who the other person like me is? Uhmm. I would have to put some sort of listening bug on the person who does the smalltalk!

Ok. Here to "Operation Smalltalk" and all who sail in her! (Or whatever we are supposed to say!) :D


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18 Sep 2020, 3:58 am

Fnord wrote:
The worst part of autism for me is that even after I have explained in great detail what autism really is, I still get responses like, "So ... just how ret*d are autistic people, anyway?"

:wall: ... no ... no ... no ... no ... no ...


Usually about the same amount as non-autistic people. Just deadpan it and act puzzled at what exactly they mean.


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The Grand Inquisitor
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18 Sep 2020, 7:59 am

The worst thing for me is easily its adverse effect on my ability to get a romantic relationship.



Dear_one
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18 Sep 2020, 10:56 am

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
The worst thing for me is easily its adverse effect on my ability to get a romantic relationship.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C11MzbEcHlw (the grass is always greener over there)