Being In Love

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How do you know if you in love?

Dawwwww whyyyyyyyy are you asking my friend?????

I'm just teasing. So I think it's important to distinguish between infatuation and love.
Infatuation is usually a chemical process that bonds two people. Essentially two people are getting high off each other's brain chemistry and hormones. It lasts a few weeks. This is usually when a person will say they are starting to fall in love, but they are likely being fooled by their brain chemistry. Being "in love" as it's usually understood by the English language is a heightened state of emotional and physical arousal. You are probably "falling in love" with someone if you have been in a close proximity to them and they reciprocate feelings of physical attraction and emotional closeness.

There are also some people who are just so out of this world attractive that they can give you this intense feeling without them having even the slightest interest in you. I am speaking from experience. The owner of a company I worked for was just legitimately the most perfect male specimen I may have ever beheld with my own eyes, he might have been gay but it didn't matter. Could not get within a 5 yard radius without being literally overwhelmed. He gave me a high five once. That was two years ago. I still remember it. Perfect. Male. Specimen. I would not say I was in love with this man as we were in absolutely no way on each other's level. Merely his demonstrable fitness in life was just overwhelmingly enticing.

So I guess the question for you is: is this someone in your life or is this someone from afar?

But real love of a person is something that develops over time and more often than not it is a function of chemistry, compatibility of personality and disposition, strong emotional bonds, and mutual respect. Love grows slowly over time, it is not an out of control flash of emotion that we call "falling in love."

There's a cliche saying about being in love, "you just know." It's terribly unhelpful and misleading, and somehow also very accurate.

The tricky thing is, you can have times where you think you know, and then later realize that it wasn't so. I almost wonder if you have to get a few of those "oh that wasn't actually love" experiences before the "you'll just know" concept will be possible. But that may just be my experience.

In my mind the most important thing is that you both feel equally enamored with the other, that each of you put an equal effort in, and that you're considerate of the other.

I'm in love when I see the person for who they really are with all their faults and issues instead of being an illusion or projection of what I want them to be, and I still feel very drawn to them. Its usually about their morals or integrity, the way they treat other people besides me and if they have a fun sense of humour. I don't base it on "they make me feel special" or things like that, because love isn't about me. It's about them!

You are if you are totally full of joy only as soon as you are with each other.
It's much more intense then just a crush and you are aware that the other feels like you do.
You are in love when you are realizing the true meaning of the "Ode to Joy" of Beethoven
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Symphony_No._9_(Beethoven) just because you feel that way.

_________________
I am as I am. Life has to be an adventure!

Maybe I’m not in love, I don’t know everything about him.

Before I met my future spouse, I had very strong feelings about certain people I would meet, get to know, and date.
I felt the same as you do now - how do I know if this is love?
Then I met my future spouse and we both felt strongly about each other. One day after I’d known him for a few months the thought came to me that I had never felt this strongly about anyone outside of my immediate family and I realized it was love. We got married a few years later but I slowly realized that for me it was love but for him it had probably not been love. That’s the problem with feelings - you can only truly know your own.
I innocently asked my spouse after we had been married for a few years why he had chosen to marry me. I expected him to say the things that I felt. I felt that I was in love and didn’t want to be without him. But he listed about three characteristics that were not remotely romantic or heartfelt - that kinda burst that bubble.

I don't think love is an actual thing any more. And the love I feel from my partner comes nowhere near the love I have for my children.