Treatment of High Functioning Vs Lower Functioning on W.P

Post Reply New Topic

My feeling is that there is a disparity between the acceptance and validation of the friends here who are HFA and those who are lower functioning.
I have seen posts that are judgemental of those who are struggling, even suggestions that they are coddled or, heaven forbid, not trying hard enough if they struggle with the challenging problems they deal with on a daily basis. To my knowledge this is primarily an autism support site for all, not just an Aspergers support site. I would like to begin a discussion that would promote an all-embracing platform where all voices are equally validated and welcomed. Since joining this forum I have witnessed friends who are valiantly struggling to cope be silenced rather than supported. How can we empower our friends who struggle to voice their battles here? How can we avoid silencing them and find ways to encourage them ? They need our support and validation most of all.
Please submit positive suggestions.

I don't talk about my personal life on WP,they would carve you up like a Thanksgiving turkey.
I talk about my personal life on AF

I have heard this from other members also. Do you have any suggestion as to how to rectify this? The moment you feel the need to filter your posts for fear of "being carved up" it essentially ceases to be an effective support forum for you, no?

I try to understand that some members here are unable or find it hard to do some things I can do (I'm high-functioning).

For a group of the socially inept, we don't do too badly, I think.
I haven't seen a lot of outright bullying or trolling - though I've seen a lot of mis-communications or misunderstandings leading to offence, often where none was intended.

It's hard to tell if this is worse for the lower functioning - as people don't usually advertise their functioning levels.
In my experience, when a poster has outright stated that they are struggling with something, most people are sympathetic and helpful.
The issues come when we aren't aware - as it's easy to carelessly make triggering remarks without knowing a person's struggles.

I'm HFA but have other conditions that make having a job difficult and feel bad about how I'm told I'm 'coddled' by some on here cos I can't drive, get a job or leave home (I could leave home but mum doesn't want me to, she'd miss me too much)

I think we need to appreciate everyone has different struggles.

But also everyone has different ways to view autism so don't thrust the 'it's a disability' down everyone's throat.

Just focus on yourself! Or the nice NTs on here, just focus on your own family! (tbf I've never seen much in the way of 'coddling' talk from the NTs on here)

This may be related to the "typical" AS way of communicating, which is less about expressing sympathy and more about problem-solving.

If I say I have a personal problem:
Typical NT response: "I understand what you're saying, that must be so difficult!"
Typical AS response: "There's a solution to this, here's what you should do..."

Unfortunately, being told what to do by someone who knows very little of your personal circumstances and struggles can come across as unsympathetic and belittling.

For me it's hard to identify with the high fliers here ,but also those who are severely impaired. Clouding things even further is the schizoaffective dx I have. Both the Asperger's and sz/a have an impact on how I do.

How I do on the forum is not a reflection of how I do offline. Without the support I get I'd struggle to maintain what I would call a healthy,albeit rather basic,level of independence.

Cyberdad talks about most posters being 'intellectually high functioning' , but that doesn't mean they're necessarily good at coping with the day to day practicalities of life.