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How many friends do you have?
I have absolutely no friends 29%  29%  [ 15 ]
Just my pets 13%  13%  [ 7 ]
I have 1-3 deep friendships with people I feel understand me 42%  42%  [ 22 ]
I have 3+ friendships with people I feel understand me 15%  15%  [ 8 ]
Total votes : 52

idntonkw
Toucan
Toucan

Joined: 29 Apr 2020
Age: 33
Posts: 277
Location: Boston

09 Oct 2020, 2:05 am

Officially at 0 friends!



Pepe
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Jun 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,353
Location: Australia

09 Oct 2020, 2:29 am

adromedanblackhole wrote:
Pepe wrote:
adromedanblackhole wrote:
Pepe wrote:
I tend to focus more on mutual respect,
But that isn't the only criterion.

Respect is important, but even so I've definitely been metaphorically shanked by "friends" who seemingly respected me. My general attitude towards people now is, keep in mind your existence to this person is completely irrelevant and given the opportunity they would likely harm you in some way if they believed it would benefit them in some way. Essentially no different than a wild animal. I'm reading what I wrote thinking wow sounds jaded, but I just mean it from a detached position of fact.


If you don't harm me,
I won't harm you.
Pact? 8)

Define "harm"
I want to know all terms of this pact before agreeing...


Touché.
I'll get back to you. :mrgreen:


_________________
Laughter is the best medicine. Age-appropriate behaviour is an arbitrary NT social construct.
Don't tell me white lies. Gaslight me at your peril. Don't give me your bad attitude.
If I'm so bad, pass me by. ;)


And one more thing,




Truth may be inconvenient but it is never politically incorrect...The Oracle of Truth has spoken...8)


Danusaurus
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

Joined: 18 Jul 2020
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 209
Location: Brisbane, Australia

11 Oct 2020, 10:47 pm

Pepe wrote:
adromedanblackhole wrote:
Pepe wrote:
adromedanblackhole wrote:
Pepe wrote:
I tend to focus more on mutual respect,
But that isn't the only criterion.

Respect is important, but even so I've definitely been metaphorically shanked by "friends" who seemingly respected me. My general attitude towards people now is, keep in mind your existence to this person is completely irrelevant and given the opportunity they would likely harm you in some way if they believed it would benefit them in some way. Essentially no different than a wild animal. I'm reading what I wrote thinking wow sounds jaded, but I just mean it from a detached position of fact.


If you don't harm me,
I won't harm you.
Pact? 8)

Define "harm"
I want to know all terms of this pact before agreeing...


Touché.
I'll get back to you. :mrgreen:


I might be interested in a pact. 8) :? Haha.



CumbersomeCallie
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 14 Oct 2020
Gender: Female
Posts: 1

14 Oct 2020, 7:21 pm

No, when I say I have no fiends I mean literally. I have 0 contacts. To be honest its better this way when I did talk to people it was only guys and they were just trying to get into my pants they didn't care when I was sick in hospital then never checked up on me one asked if he could pick me up from my house even though I told him a week prior that I was in ICU. I blocked and deleted all my social medias, less stressful that way.



Mountain Goat
Veteran
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Joined: 13 May 2019
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,949
Location: Wales,UK Relationship: Single Interests: Trains AgeGroup: 40's FavouriteColor: Green Music: CyndiLauper

14 Oct 2020, 7:31 pm

A way to protect yourself from hurt.... Not sure if it is ideal though as I have been in that position and done that and found it does not solve the feeling of rejection.

Distraction helps at times though.

I do find times where I have cut myself off. Plenty of times...


_________________
Awaiting asessment. Neurodiverse 173/200. Neurotypical 21/200. Empathy 11/80. AQ 39. https://everything2.com/user/Zifendorf/ ... s/shutdown

Buton A Button B


adromedanblackhole
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 24 Sep 2020
Gender: Female
Posts: 474
Location: Los Angeles

15 Oct 2020, 11:57 am

CumbersomeCallie wrote:
No, when I say I have no fiends I mean literally. I have 0 contacts. To be honest its better this way when I did talk to people it was only guys and they were just trying to get into my pants they didn't care when I was sick in hospital then never checked up on me one asked if he could pick me up from my house even though I told him a week prior that I was in ICU. I blocked and deleted all my social medias, less stressful that way.

You have us :)



adromedanblackhole
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 24 Sep 2020
Gender: Female
Posts: 474
Location: Los Angeles

15 Oct 2020, 11:58 am

Danusaurus wrote:
Pepe wrote:
adromedanblackhole wrote:
Pepe wrote:
adromedanblackhole wrote:
Pepe wrote:
I tend to focus more on mutual respect,
But that isn't the only criterion.

Respect is important, but even so I've definitely been metaphorically shanked by "friends" who seemingly respected me. My general attitude towards people now is, keep in mind your existence to this person is completely irrelevant and given the opportunity they would likely harm you in some way if they believed it would benefit them in some way. Essentially no different than a wild animal. I'm reading what I wrote thinking wow sounds jaded, but I just mean it from a detached position of fact.


If you don't harm me,
I won't harm you.
Pact? 8)

Define "harm"
I want to know all terms of this pact before agreeing...


Touché.
I'll get back to you. :mrgreen:


I might be interested in a pact. 8) :? Haha.

It's funny to me how many of my contacts here are in Australia



Danusaurus
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

Joined: 18 Jul 2020
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 209
Location: Brisbane, Australia

16 Oct 2020, 4:47 pm

CumbersomeCallie wrote:
No, when I say I have no fiends I mean literally. I have 0 contacts. To be honest its better this way when I did talk to people it was only guys and they were just trying to get into my pants they didn't care when I was sick in hospital then never checked up on me one asked if he could pick me up from my house even though I told him a week prior that I was in ICU. I blocked and deleted all my social medias, less stressful that way.


People are users and as*holes , it's common that guys want to get in girls pants, before I accepted me for myself instead of lying to myself I probably was very much this way. Only problem now is nobody accepts me for who I am , my family don't talk to me I feel like they only talk to me out of obligation and realistically want nothing to do with me. They left me homeless on the street for years, knew damn well that people called me a dog s**t c**t plus many worse things and people call me retard n spastic yet these many strange nt women somehow are so screwed up they'd want a baby from someone they laugh at and call retard. People are weird and I think I just wanna cut everyone from my life, I totally understand how you feel and I'm so very sorry you've been treated that way. It breaks my heart and I'm sick of trying to take my life only to be let down and hurt again. I'm only gonna get to know or want to know "my own kind" as nt people suck and I can almost say I have such a disdain for them it's almost like hatred.



adromedanblackhole
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 24 Sep 2020
Gender: Female
Posts: 474
Location: Los Angeles

16 Oct 2020, 9:47 pm

Danusaurus wrote:
I'm only gonna get to know or want to know "my own kind" as nt people suck and I can almost say I have such a disdain for them it's almost like hatred.

I smile when I read this because it's the same sentiment I've expressed across multiple unrelated threads throughout this site. I will not give you unsolicited advise that tends to be the norm when I post things here of this nature, just letting you know I understand.

I could only hope some of the people here who really feel like they have no one might be able to find friends here and maybe even in this thread.



Pepe
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Jun 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,353
Location: Australia

17 Oct 2020, 2:52 am

CumbersomeCallie wrote:
No, when I say I have no fiends I mean literally. I have 0 contacts. To be honest its better this way when I did talk to people it was only guys and they were just trying to get into my pants they didn't care when I was sick in hospital then never checked up on me one asked if he could pick me up from my house even though I told him a week prior that I was in ICU. I blocked and deleted all my social medias, less stressful that way.


There are a lot of male ratbags out there, yes.


_________________
Laughter is the best medicine. Age-appropriate behaviour is an arbitrary NT social construct.
Don't tell me white lies. Gaslight me at your peril. Don't give me your bad attitude.
If I'm so bad, pass me by. ;)


And one more thing,




Truth may be inconvenient but it is never politically incorrect...The Oracle of Truth has spoken...8)


Pepe
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Jun 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,353
Location: Australia

17 Oct 2020, 2:55 am

adromedanblackhole wrote:
Danusaurus wrote:
I'm only gonna get to know or want to know "my own kind" as nt people suck and I can almost say I have such a disdain for them it's almost like hatred.

I smile when I read this because it's the same sentiment I've expressed across multiple unrelated threads throughout this site. I will not give you unsolicited advise that tends to be the norm when I post things here of this nature, just letting you know I understand.

I could only hope some of the people here who really feel like they have no one might be able to find friends here and maybe even in this thread.


I'm stepping up to the plate.
Interested in a smelly skunk? :mrgreen:


_________________
Laughter is the best medicine. Age-appropriate behaviour is an arbitrary NT social construct.
Don't tell me white lies. Gaslight me at your peril. Don't give me your bad attitude.
If I'm so bad, pass me by. ;)


And one more thing,




Truth may be inconvenient but it is never politically incorrect...The Oracle of Truth has spoken...8)


Danusaurus
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

Joined: 18 Jul 2020
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 209
Location: Brisbane, Australia

17 Oct 2020, 5:00 pm

Pepe wrote:
adromedanblackhole wrote:
Danusaurus wrote:
I'm only gonna get to know or want to know "my own kind" as nt people suck and I can almost say I have such a disdain for them it's almost like hatred.

I smile when I read this because it's the same sentiment I've expressed across multiple unrelated threads throughout this site. I will not give you unsolicited advise that tends to be the norm when I post things here of this nature, just letting you know I understand.

I could only hope some of the people here who really feel like they have no one might be able to find friends here and maybe even in this thread.


I'm stepping up to the plate.
Interested in a smelly skunk? :mrgreen:


Harsh Pepe,

Inline with your context though all I seem to get offered is smelly skunks :lol: :cry:

:mrgreen:



Pepe
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Jun 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,353
Location: Australia

18 Oct 2020, 3:15 am

Danusaurus wrote:
Pepe wrote:
adromedanblackhole wrote:
Danusaurus wrote:
I'm only gonna get to know or want to know "my own kind" as nt people suck and I can almost say I have such a disdain for them it's almost like hatred.

I smile when I read this because it's the same sentiment I've expressed across multiple unrelated threads throughout this site. I will not give you unsolicited advise that tends to be the norm when I post things here of this nature, just letting you know I understand.

I could only hope some of the people here who really feel like they have no one might be able to find friends here and maybe even in this thread.


I'm stepping up to the plate.
Interested in a smelly skunk? :mrgreen:


Harsh Pepe,

Inline with your context though all I seem to get offered is smelly skunks :lol: :cry:

:mrgreen:


You could do worse. 8)


_________________
Laughter is the best medicine. Age-appropriate behaviour is an arbitrary NT social construct.
Don't tell me white lies. Gaslight me at your peril. Don't give me your bad attitude.
If I'm so bad, pass me by. ;)


And one more thing,




Truth may be inconvenient but it is never politically incorrect...The Oracle of Truth has spoken...8)


Danusaurus
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

Joined: 18 Jul 2020
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 209
Location: Brisbane, Australia

19 Oct 2020, 1:48 am

Pepe wrote:
Danusaurus wrote:
Pepe wrote:
adromedanblackhole wrote:
Danusaurus wrote:
I'm only gonna get to know or want to know "my own kind" as nt people suck and I can almost say I have such a disdain for them it's almost like hatred.

I smile when I read this because it's the same sentiment I've expressed across multiple unrelated threads throughout this site. I will not give you unsolicited advise that tends to be the norm when I post things here of this nature, just letting you know I understand.

I could only hope some of the people here who really feel like they have no one might be able to find friends here and maybe even in this thread.


I'm stepping up to the plate.
Interested in a smelly skunk? :mrgreen:


Harsh Pepe,

Inline with your context though all I seem to get offered is smelly skunks :lol: :cry:

:mrgreen:


You could do worse. 8)


Potentially.. but skunks have a tendency to spray and pray :lol: 8)



Pepe
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Jun 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,353
Location: Australia

19 Oct 2020, 4:35 am

Danusaurus wrote:
Pepe wrote:
Danusaurus wrote:
Pepe wrote:
adromedanblackhole wrote:
Danusaurus wrote:
I'm only gonna get to know or want to know "my own kind" as nt people suck and I can almost say I have such a disdain for them it's almost like hatred.

I smile when I read this because it's the same sentiment I've expressed across multiple unrelated threads throughout this site. I will not give you unsolicited advise that tends to be the norm when I post things here of this nature, just letting you know I understand.

I could only hope some of the people here who really feel like they have no one might be able to find friends here and maybe even in this thread.


I'm stepping up to the plate.
Interested in a smelly skunk? :mrgreen:


Harsh Pepe,

Inline with your context though all I seem to get offered is smelly skunks :lol: :cry:

:mrgreen:


You could do worse. 8)


Potentially.. but skunks have a tendency to spray and pray :lol: 8)


I've had my anal glands removed. 8)


_________________
Laughter is the best medicine. Age-appropriate behaviour is an arbitrary NT social construct.
Don't tell me white lies. Gaslight me at your peril. Don't give me your bad attitude.
If I'm so bad, pass me by. ;)


And one more thing,




Truth may be inconvenient but it is never politically incorrect...The Oracle of Truth has spoken...8)


elephantplushie
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

Joined: 13 Oct 2019
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Posts: 19
Location: Europe.

21 Oct 2020, 7:51 pm

I have 3 friends at a distance. Two of them diagnosed aspies, the third has obvious aspie-traits. One of them I only rarely chat with because he has little social energy but we used to meet quite often before he moved even further. We send very long messages to each other though to make up for that. I still consider him and my other aspie friend my two closest ones.
The third friend I have contact with in periods. We stop talking for months then we get back in touch. We are still pretty close in the sense that we can tell each other anything.
I have 1 friend around where I live. He's an NT. I don't feel we vibe that well but he's a nice person and a good friend. I wouldn't honestly call us close though because we aren't nearly as open with each other as me and my other friends are. Our conversations are usually pretty shallow and I don't feel entirely comfortable discussing problems related to my diagnoses with him since he doesn't understand. He's supportive though.
I think it's hard to make friends. I never had a friend until I was 19 years old because I didn't speak in school, with anyone. Not sure why i've never come across anyone else who went whole days at school never uttering one word and I didnt get diagnosed until I was 21 so I didnt get any support. My ex was my best friend but eventually that didnt work anymore. He was NT so he didnt really get me either but he was a great guy. We were just incompatible.
I also don't generally vibe well with NTs because I want to be left alone most of the time and they dont get that.