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I have fun with my friends
All the time 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Occasionally 56%  56%  [ 5 ]
Seldom 22%  22%  [ 2 ]
Never 22%  22%  [ 2 ]
Total votes : 9

DesertWoman
Snowy Owl
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02 Oct 2020, 9:45 pm

I have had terrible luck with men since college. I've met the worst men- liars and cheaters. I'm heterosexual and it's impossible to meet a decent guy.

I met someone two years ago with looks, and not much class. He was married young and left his wife because she got fat. Not only does that make him a selfish person, it means he's superficial and rude. He's currently sleeping with married women who are looking to get revenge on their cheating husbands.

Then, there are girls from my childhood who are bored where they live and they're using me to find romance because I'm attractive. Not only is that weird, it's even more hurtful because the damage they did to me years ago was never apologized for.

People with ASD don't have much fun. They miss out on so many things. And because they're weaker than their peers, they fall victim to attention they'd rather not get.

I've been ridiculed by women my age because I'm single. It's hard to be alone, your whole adult life. And be unable to work.



Pepe
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02 Oct 2020, 9:49 pm

I ignore/avoid toxic people.



nick007
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03 Oct 2020, 7:21 pm

I cant vote in the poll because I do not really have friends. The only friends I had offline were people from school & later work & we never did much outside of those things. I only really have one friend & he was my former supervisor. I haven't seen him in a couple years since I moved across the country to be with my girlfriend. I don't travel to visit family much & it's been over a year since the last time I went down there. Me & my friend text occasionally thou.

I've been a loner my whole life but after I became an adult I got lonely & wanted one person I could spend a lot of time with & be myself with. Thankfully I have a girlfriend I've been living with almost 8 years now & we do spend a lot of time together. She's also on the spectrum or at least has a lot of overlapping traits. I struggled majorly to get a girlfriend thou & I screwed up my 1st two relationships but my exes had issues themselves as well.


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Starlight2001
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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03 Oct 2020, 7:34 pm

I have a similar problem. I'm 31 and I've never been in a relationship, even though I'm possibly the kindest person I know. People just aren't interested in talking to me.



Benjamin the Donkey
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03 Oct 2020, 8:05 pm

Considering your own evidence of how unhappy many marriages are, it's absurd to be ridiculed because you're single. If anyone tries that, point out the flaws in that person's own relationship.


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DesertWoman
Snowy Owl
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08 Oct 2020, 1:04 am

It's true, marriage doesn't always equate with happiness.



Pepe
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08 Oct 2020, 2:10 am

DesertWoman wrote:
It's true, marriage doesn't always equate with happiness.


Agreed.
There are a hell of a lot of failed marriages/defacto-relationships.



Wolfram87
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08 Oct 2020, 2:18 am

DesertWoman wrote:
People with ASD don't have much fun... they're weaker than their peers,



I reject these premises in the strongest possible terms.


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nick007
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08 Oct 2020, 3:58 pm

Wolfram87 wrote:
DesertWoman wrote:
People with ASD don't have much fun... they're weaker than their peers,



I reject these premises in the strongest possible terms.
That's very true in my case. I think DesertWoman is going by NT standards. NTs genrerally do tend to think of Aspies as being weaker & us Aspies tend to not have fun the ways NTs do. Things us Aspies find fun would be considered weird or lame by NTs.


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"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
~King Of The Hill


"Hear all, trust nothing"
~Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition #190
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition


Mountain Goat
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08 Oct 2020, 4:04 pm

DesertWoman wrote:
I have had terrible luck with men since college. I've met the worst men- liars and cheaters. I'm heterosexual and it's impossible to meet a decent guy.

I met someone two years ago with looks, and not much class. He was married young and left his wife because she got fat. Not only does that make him a selfish person, it means he's superficial and rude. He's currently sleeping with married women who are looking to get revenge on their cheating husbands.

Then, there are girls from my childhood who are bored where they live and they're using me to find romance because I'm attractive. Not only is that weird, it's even more hurtful because the damage they did to me years ago was never apologized for.

People with ASD don't have much fun. They miss out on so many things. And because they're weaker than their peers, they fall victim to attention they'd rather not get.

I've been ridiculed by women my age because I'm single. It's hard to be alone, your whole adult life. And be unable to work.


I don't know the answer. I am in a similar situation I guess.


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Pepe
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08 Oct 2020, 6:35 pm

Wolfram87 wrote:
DesertWoman wrote:
People with ASD don't have much fun... they're weaker than their peers,



I reject these premises in the strongest possible terms.


For you and me, personally.

However, :mrgreen:
There is a great deal of pain experienced by many on the spectrum.
There are a lot of vulnerable people on the spectrum.
I suspect, percentage-wise, more than the average NT bear.
Predators are disproportionately attracted to us, imo. 8)

So, yeah, no. :mrgreen:



Wolfram87
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08 Oct 2020, 6:51 pm

We experience the world turned uo to 11, sure. Having more to deal with does not equate to being weak, even if you should fail at it.

Enjoying things that are strange takes nothing away from the enjoyment.


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Stardust Parade
Deinonychus
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15 Oct 2020, 7:57 pm

nick007 wrote:
Wolfram87 wrote:
DesertWoman wrote:
People with ASD don't have much fun... they're weaker than their peers,



I reject these premises in the strongest possible terms.
That's very true in my case. I think DesertWoman is going by NT standards. NTs genrerally do tend to think of Aspies as being weaker & us Aspies tend to not have fun the ways NTs do. Things us Aspies find fun would be considered weird or lame by NTs.

I always have fun with my NT friend! We met under sad/strange circumstances but I’m glad we became friends. She’s got a heart of gold :)



madbutnotmad
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15 Oct 2020, 8:10 pm

I would say that we are all in our own individual circumstance.
Sure, we all may have ASD.

However, we all come from different backgrounds, with different people around us, and with different experiences.

This observation is neither positive or negative. It is what it is.

Often, there is a positive solution to our problems. Often it exists in front of our noses that we can not see.

I wonder sometimes as to whether there are people in these forums that may be suitable partners.

Although i would say that is it is hard to tell without a live chat room or photo's (as personality and looks, as well as common interests are important).

So, having ASD, is it terrible. well Yes, however we should try and make the best of our circumstance rather than dwell on what a s**t deal we have been dealt... as that for sure leads to nothing good.

Perhaps better to pretend to ourselves that all is good and we are winners, who will find great partners.
And then try and make it happen.

As for sure, if you think that the world is a pile of dog s**t, and think that everything that is going to happen to you will also be a pile of dog s**t, then for sure, you will make it happen....

better off trying to make a better future happen! after all, i am sure most people have had enough of dog s**t!...



starkid
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15 Oct 2020, 8:12 pm

DesertWoman wrote:
It's true, marriage doesn't always equate with happiness.

Marriage doesn't ever create happiness, except maybe for people who have the intelligence of a ten-year-old. It's healthy and satisfying relationships that can lead to happiness, and people in those relationships don't necessarily get married and people who are married don't necessarily have those relationships.

The fools who think marriage = a good relationship are the ones most at risk of unhappiness.



AnonymousAnonymous
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02 Nov 2020, 7:05 pm

If any of my friends from school are busy, I let them be by keeping my distance.

If any want me to attend something with them (or casually hang out), I will do so.


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