Ever feel like you have to please everyone except yourself?

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Sea Gull
Sea Gull

Joined: 18 Jul 2020
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 209
Location: Brisbane, Australia

03 Oct 2020, 11:16 pm

So I've pretty much not much in the way of friends,

except 2 people i have known for long time in excess of many years, like 10/20.

One who for whatever reason doesn't talk to me or return my calls and the other isn't as much as I'd like

so seeing as this seems the most likely place to ask..

Does anyone feel like they're constantly doing things just to fit in for the sake of others, to pease people rather than doing the things that make themselves happy? like I get a sense of people that unless I do something correct or to their expectations im simply put down and humiliated and become even more withdrawn as it seems everyone (not sure if it's an NT thing) but seems unlikely, more likely they're just as*holes but to re-enforce how crap I am have everyone seems to have only what they think is relevant and ignore my own way of looking at something in order to gain friendship or acceptance and literally yell, become abusive or more so - in my view - soul destroying about having to completely make me feel like the most belittled, hated, disgusting, ugly, unworthwhile person in existence. I truly have feelings and try express these to people who listen yet every person other than me seems to be wired for their own agenda. I know it likely came out completely making no sense but I didn't want to lose my train of thought. If anyone can make sense of it, great if not please probe and I will respond accordingly.

Thanks. :? :( :( :( :( :( :skull:


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Joined: 11 Jun 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,355
Location: Australia

04 Oct 2020, 12:04 am

Ever feel like you have to please everyone except yourself?

When I was young.
Not anymore. 8)

Laughter is the best medicine. Age-appropriate behaviour is an arbitrary NT social construct.
Don't tell me white lies. Gaslight me at your peril. Don't give me your bad attitude.
If I'm so bad, pass me by. ;)

And one more thing,

Truth may be inconvenient but it is never politically incorrect...The Oracle of Truth has spoken...8)


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Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 18,714
Location: Maidstone, UK

05 Oct 2020, 5:45 pm

I'm deeply affected by other people's feelings, maybe moreso than the average person (which is why I get so offended when people say that people with ASD are supposed to lack emotional empathy).

Aged 30
On antidepressants
Diagnosed with AS, ADHD and anxiety disorder
Empathy score: 61 out of a possible 80. (High)


Joined: 21 Jul 2020
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 740

05 Oct 2020, 10:31 pm

All. The. Time.