Thread for women who are made fun of or ignored by men
You'd be surprised how much can change if you just dress up, put some makeup on, and try to look like you're happy and proud of yourself. Even if you have always been ignored and thought you were ugly, you will most likely start attracting attention. Especially if you are an adult. Teenagers are much more critical due to peer pressure, but actual grown up men do like women of different shapes and sizes, and they don't care if there's a square ass, tiny tits, long nose or whatever.. They just like women! They like women who look like they are happy, confident, and take nice care of themselves. Oh and if they listen to what men have to say to them. Actual facial or body features matter little. You would have to have serious physical defects in order not to be able to compensate them with some effort. I myself didn't believe this simple truth, but life taught me otherwise. And other experienced women have said exactly the same thing.
Thing is, we just don't put that effort in. That is why we are ignored or mocked. It is up to us to decide whether all this dressing up and acting pretty is worth it or not. And usually it's "not".
Thing is, we just don't put that effort in. That is why we are ignored or mocked. It is up to us to decide whether all this dressing up and acting pretty is worth it or not. And usually it's "not".
It's a good start.
But it's not always enough. I dress well. I get compliments on my clothes, my figure, my hair... Well, by other women. Though my friend's husband was surprised when I told him no men are interested in me, "their loss", he said quick as a flash.
But once you get to know me. Something is off. Probably because I'm autistic. I don't communicate the NT way.
I've been told that I'm nice, interesting and even fun. But "it's just not a romantic feeling". I'm just there, around, in the room. I'm not enough.
Thing is, we just don't put that effort in. That is why we are ignored or mocked. It is up to us to decide whether all this dressing up and acting pretty is worth it or not. And usually it's "not".
It's a good start.
But it's not always enough. I dress well. I get compliments on my clothes, my figure, my hair... Well, by other women. Though my friend's husband was surprised when I told him no men are interested in me, "their loss", he said quick as a flash.
But once you get to know me. Something is off. Probably because I'm autistic. I don't communicate the NT way.
I've been told that I'm nice, interesting and even fun. But "it's just not a romantic feeling". I'm just there, around, in the room. I'm not enough.
True, it's not just dressing up, but also posture, confidence. Some women might notice that at times, when they are very happy and more open to the world, more social, men notice them even if they don't dress up.
Confidence is probably underrated. I'm quite reserved and timid in social situations and don't initiate conversations or draw much attention to myself. Around my beloved, I come alive and dance and make squeaky noises that he thinks are the cutest things ever.
All that said, these things still don't explain why I get comments like "he's a handsome guy, what's he doing with the likes of you" or "you're too masculine looking," which I got a lot when younger, even when wearing makeup (I linked to an older thread with several such comments in my OP). In college, there used to be this web site called HotOrNot...even my most glamorous photos got low ratings. I just never got much interest from males, so when I landed my one hot beloved, I was very happy It's still annoying to get the occasional "he married beneath his station" and "you aren't a harmonic looking couple aesthetically" types of comments when people see us, though.
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36 yr old female; dx age 29. Level 2 Aspie.
Ignore jealous types. Trust your partner (if you don't already).
Let me guess, most of the jealous types are hetero women?*
They wouldn't be into you if you looked like Taylor Swift. Forget them. You have him, they don't.
Society puts far too much emphasis on women especially and people in general to look a certain way. Mostly from the media. Most people don't look like that. Only shallow people expect it.
* If they're not then still, you have your man, you don't need anyone else!
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Not actually a girl
He/him
Thanks, folks!
The insults usually come from (seemingly) hetero men on Internet forums (I know, kind of interesting that they would go on about how good looking my guy is, and how he should do better -- maybe they are secretly interested in him? ). In person, of course, people don't say the kinds of things I mentioned to my face -- but hiding behind the anonymity and distance of a keyboard, some of these guys have been quite rude. In person, I tend to just get ignored and can blend in the background.
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36 yr old female; dx age 29. Level 2 Aspie.
All that said, these things still don't explain why I get comments like "he's a handsome guy, what's he doing with the likes of you" or "you're too masculine looking," which I got a lot when younger, even when wearing makeup (I linked to an older thread with several such comments in my OP). In college, there used to be this web site called HotOrNot...even my most glamorous photos got low ratings. I just never got much interest from males, so when I landed my one hot beloved, I was very happy It's still annoying to get the occasional "he married beneath his station" and "you aren't a harmonic looking couple aesthetically" types of comments when people see us, though.
Yeah, I don't understand the mentality where people feel the need to make comments like that. It's better to just ignore them.
If anything, I think I may be over-confident. I think about stuff. I have definite opinions about things. I'm quite passionate about things I like.
Though, it depends what mood I'm in. Sometimes I am very quite if I don't feel like I have anything to contribute to the current discussion.
There's no real answer.
I just heard a good comment about attractiveness
When people say "attractive" they really mean a look that has been proven to earn money through marketing. It's not what your average person is really finding attractive in a partner.
It was a comment about how the press in the UK call Camilla Parker Bowels unattractive, but obviously a lot of men, including Prince Charles, were very into her.
All that said, these things still don't explain why I get comments like "he's a handsome guy, what's he doing with the likes of you" or "you're too masculine looking," which I got a lot when younger, even when wearing makeup (I linked to an older thread with several such comments in my OP). In college, there used to be this web site called HotOrNot...even my most glamorous photos got low ratings. I just never got much interest from males, so when I landed my one hot beloved, I was very happy It's still annoying to get the occasional "he married beneath his station" and "you aren't a harmonic looking couple aesthetically" types of comments when people see us, though.
I'm so happy for you both.
It is a shame most people are so superficial.
The insults usually come from (seemingly) hetero men on Internet forums (I know, kind of interesting that they would go on about how good looking my guy is, and how he should do better -- maybe they are secretly interested in him? ).
It's weird how much some hetero guys are scared of women looking normal.
Everything from not wanting to be into someone without makeup on to not wanting someone who has a normal adult woman's level of body hair. In my day, even someone with a big bum. (Seems to interest them nowadays though?)
Fortunately your guy isn't like that.
A lot of girls can spend a lot of time esp in youth worried over these arbitery beauty standards. My cousin used to never leave the house without a full face of makeup when she was in her teens. We used to wait for hours for them (her mum, her sister, her) to be 'ready'.
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Not actually a girl
He/him
All that said, these things still don't explain why I get comments like "he's a handsome guy, what's he doing with the likes of you" or "you're too masculine looking," which I got a lot when younger, even when wearing makeup (I linked to an older thread with several such comments in my OP). In college, there used to be this web site called HotOrNot...even my most glamorous photos got low ratings. I just never got much interest from males, so when I landed my one hot beloved, I was very happy It's still annoying to get the occasional "he married beneath his station" and "you aren't a harmonic looking couple aesthetically" types of comments when people see us, though.
I'm honestly shocked by this. The first time I saw your photo here on WrongPlanet I thought you were very pretty. I'm a straight woman though.
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The phone ping from a pillow fort in a corn maze
I don't have a horse in your war games
I don't even really like horses
I like wild orchids and neighbors with wide orbits
I would never post my photo in an Internet forum, in the first place. Avoiding crap like the above is only one of the reasons not to post one's photo online, IMO.
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