Unwritten rule on overly protective parents

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Summer_Twilight
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09 Oct 2020, 10:47 am

Hi:



I often ended up being friends with other people with disabilities and most of them seem to have parents who are protective. Though I do what I can to try and make a impression, a lot of these parents decide they hate me.

One minute I can do things with their adult children and the next, they won't let them get together with me by finding every excuse in the book.

Keep in mind I am more independent while most of my friends live with their parents.


What are some unwritten rules that I am missing? It's not like:

1. I am teaching their children to do drugs

2. Break into properties

3. I have asked them for favors or for money because their parents are loaded



Fnord
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09 Oct 2020, 10:56 am

Thou shalt not give other people's children ideas, nor shalt thou enable the children to think for themselves or to find disagreement with their parents.

In all seriousness, an independent aspie could be perceived by the parents as a threat to their authority and credibility in their children's minds.

I know, it makes no sense, but I experienced similar prejudice when parents of (non-dependent) adult children would learn that I played Dungeons & Dragons and didn't go to church.

As if I was going to teach them how to cast spells and worship the Devil (this was Michigan in the 1980s).


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SportsGamer35728
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09 Oct 2020, 11:19 am

My parents were overprotective of me because:

1.) I almost died from a birth defect as an infant.

2.) My cousin died 8 years ago from a drug overdose



Fnord
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09 Oct 2020, 11:32 am

Love 'em while you still have 'em!

:( I wish I still had my parents.


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Since there is no singular, absolute definition of human nature,
nor any ultimate evaluation of human nature beyond that which we project onto others,
individuals should be judged or defined only by their actions and choices,
and not by what we only imagine their intentions and motivations to be.


Summer_Twilight
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09 Oct 2020, 11:34 am

Fnord wrote:
Thou shalt not give other people's children ideas, nor shalt thou enable the children to think for themselves or to find disagreement with their parents.

In all seriousness, an independent aspie could be perceived by the parents as a threat to their authority and credibility in their children's minds.

I know, it makes no sense, but I experienced similar prejudice when parents of (non-dependent) adult children would learn that I played Dungeons & Dragons and didn't go to church.

As if I was going to teach them how to cast spells and worship the Devil (this was Michigan in the 1980s).


Thank you very much. I will keep that in mind. However, do I keep these friendships without be isolated?



Fnord
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09 Oct 2020, 11:37 am

Summer_Twilight wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Thou shalt not give other people's children ideas, nor shalt thou enable the children to think for themselves or to find disagreement with their parents.  In all seriousness, an independent aspie could be perceived by the parents as a threat to their authority and credibility in their children's minds.  I know, it makes no sense, but I experienced similar prejudice when parents of (non-dependent) adult children would learn that I played Dungeons & Dragons and didn't go to church.  As if I was going to teach them how to cast spells and worship the Devil (this was Michigan in the 1980s).
Thank you very much.  I will keep that in mind.  However, do I keep these friendships without being isolated?
That is up to you.  Although if you can, I suggest you do.  Friends are the family you choose for yourself.


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Since there is no singular, absolute definition of human nature,
nor any ultimate evaluation of human nature beyond that which we project onto others,
individuals should be judged or defined only by their actions and choices,
and not by what we only imagine their intentions and motivations to be.


Pepe
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10 Oct 2020, 7:14 am

Fnord wrote:
Love 'em while you still have 'em!

:( I wish I still had my parents.


The way I see it,
Our parents are in a better place, right? ;)


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Pepe
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10 Oct 2020, 7:20 am

Summer_Twilight wrote:
Hi:



I often ended up being friends with other people with disabilities and most of them seem to have parents who are protective. Though I do what I can to try and make a impression, a lot of these parents decide they hate me.

One minute I can do things with their adult children and the next, they won't let them get together with me by finding every excuse in the book.

Keep in mind I am more independent while most of my friends live with their parents.


What are some unwritten rules that I am missing? It's not like:

1. I am teaching their children to do drugs

2. Break into properties

3. I have asked them for favors or for money because their parents are loaded


Maybe they think autism is catchy? :scratch:

I think Fnord may be onto something, except I can't see it applying to adult children who aren't going to be influenced that much by our unique way of seeing the world.

I remember a family friend telling her child that I was not right in the head because of what I was saying.
I.E. Aspie honesty.
But in that case, the child was only about 10? 8O


_________________
Laughter is the best medicine. Age-appropriate behaviour is an arbitrary NT social construct.
Don't tell me white lies. Gaslight me at your peril. Don't give me your bad attitude.
If I'm so bad, pass me by. ;)


And one more thing,




Truth may be inconvenient but it is never politically incorrect...The Oracle of Truth has spoken...8)