Do I have to stay friends with all nice people online?

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KT67
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09 Oct 2020, 6:20 pm

I'm going to restrict this to chat about twitter...

Do I have to stay friends with people who seem like nice people but are getting on my nerves because they also seem like idiots?

For eg:
People on twitter who come up with arguments/realisations I came up with when I was in my teens, but they're my age or slightly younger or even older than me

People who say incredibly well known things as if it's brand new information and start it off with 'you might not know'... I doubt it. Everyone knows the information they provide.

People on twitter who are obsessed with conspiracy theories so for eg they'll zoom in on one guy's homophobia/transphobia/racism/sexism rather than fighting these things more broadly. And I don't mean Trump or Boris or someone with a lot of influence on the whole world or whole country, I mean obsession with local radio hosts and similar...

People on twitter who seem nice but are spreading pseudoscience because they've fallen for it

Guys on twitter who seem nice but retweet nothing but porn during the week

If I can't get through to these people, do I have to keep following them or can I unfollow them? They're perfectly nice people - just stupid.

I'm someone who could really do without loads of friends. Quality not quantity and honestly I'm kind of fine on my own.

It feels like I'm their teacher. Or like I'm befriending someone who's a lot younger than me (they're not). Not like I'm having a good time socialising on my own terms. More like I'm babysitting my niece than talking to a proper adult.

But they do seem like genuinely nice people and it's wrong to hurt the feelings of someone who's genuinely nice by cutting them out of my life...

If I had teacher abilities then I'd take them from where they are and educate them. But I neither want nor need those skills. One thing I was determined about in adult life was not become a teacher cos everyone in my family's a teacher.

I think it's cos they have different hobbies to me so for eg while I'm reading and watching educational youtube, they're out drinking and watching the more popular youtube (influencer) channels. Even the aspie guy I used to follow on there who's falling for pseudoscience doesn't read much and isn't well educated at all.

BTW I'm aware I sound arrogant but I'm just an average intelligence person with an MA in information studies and a BA in literature and an interest as a layperson in humanities subjects and reading. I'm not a genius by any means and I'm not claiming to be - esp when it comes to science. Nor am I claiming I'm superior to these people in anything other than knowledge and critical thinking skills.

One of them DMed me right after I unfollowed them... Saying the conspiracy stuff again. That one reminds me of my dad who's schizophrenic. It's not healthy to obsess that much over one person who doesn't have that much influence. Surely they get that it's not interesting to anyone except them? Esp since they're allegedly NT?



League_Girl
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09 Oct 2020, 6:46 pm

No you don't need to be friends with them and it's not our job to educate. Studies have shown that people do not change their minds if told they are wrong or if forced to change their minds. Only they can decide for themselves to learn.

It's a shame how sometimes someone you like and look up to fall for a false science or conspiracy. People will dissapoint us.


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Pepe
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10 Oct 2020, 1:57 am

Why the hell are you on Twitter?
You do know that that is where twits go to post, right? :scratch:


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KT67
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10 Oct 2020, 6:38 am

Pepe wrote:
Why the hell are you on Twitter?
You do know that that is where twits go to post, right? :scratch:


Most of the time it's all right with a padlock and heavy blocking policy.

I just don't like the idea of blocking someone who's a twit but a perfectly nice one.

Unfollowing maybe but then if it's mutuals they keep DMing.

Maybe I should unfollow then set my DMs to 'people I'm following only'.



Pepe
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10 Oct 2020, 6:49 am

KT67 wrote:
Pepe wrote:
Why the hell are you on Twitter?
You do know that that is where twits go to post, right? :scratch:


Most of the time it's all right with a padlock and heavy blocking policy.

I just don't like the idea of blocking someone who's a twit but a perfectly nice one.

Unfollowing maybe but then if it's mutuals they keep DMing.

Maybe I should unfollow then set my DMs to 'people I'm following only'.


"Padlocks", "Heavy Blocking", "DMing"?
What language are you talking, woman? 8O

Oh, never mind.
I have no intention of using twitter. ;)


_________________
Laughter is the best medicine. Age-appropriate behaviour is an arbitrary NT social construct.
Don't tell me white lies. Gaslight me at your peril. Don't give me your bad attitude.
If I'm so bad, pass me by. ;)


And one more thing,




Truth may be inconvenient but it is never politically incorrect...The Oracle of Truth has spoken...8)


KT67
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10 Oct 2020, 10:31 am

It's not just a twitter problem :wink:

I'm avoiding drama by only talking about twitter...*

It used to be a problem offline but 1 I moved and people genuinely don't seem like idiots round here & 2 I am in the weird situation (where thank god I'm autistic haha) where cos of covid & my family being high risk I've not been able to interact with many ppl offline outside the family since March - only the delivery man or postman etc.

In normal times/the before times, I would go on courses and this stuff wouldn't prop up. Stupidest people you'd get round here would be ones who thought it was a good idea to say to someone with anxiety issues 'I wish I could go home for a cup of tea too but I'm so busy'... But that shows lack of empathy not just lack of intelligence. I feel no guilt about cutting off people who aren't nice.

When I lived in a village it happened more often. Got someone arguing til she was blue in the face that Samhain was 'American'. I tried explaining history to her and it was 'but it dint exist when I was a kid, it was all brought in by the Yanks you're wrong cos you're young'... :roll: Obviously she herself is younger than pre-Christian days in the British Isles...

Or they'd say 'TS Eliot isn't modernist that's from ages ago' or 'don't know what postmodern means (I know nobody has a clear definition and that's kind of the point but they meant they never heard of it) what do you read for fun?' as if postmodern novels aren't fun.

* To be fair it's less so on here. Aspies seem to know our strengths and weaknesses and stick to talking about things we know a lot about/are interested in. You'll notice I don't post in the science & tech section unless I want help from someone smarter than me for eg...



KT67
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10 Oct 2020, 11:15 am

I soft blocked then unblocked that conspiracy theorist.

Means they can't read me.

And I'm not following them.

But it's not a block so if they're anything like healthy it won't cause drama.

They were too close to like dad when he's ill. If that's the case then they need professional help not a random aspie like me reading everything as it gets to sounding more and more like an obsession/conspiracy theory.

They never talked about anything else or interacted with me or anyone else. That isn't healthy. They seem like a nice person so I'm worried for them but there's nothing I can do and me worrying so much about a stranger's mental health isn't healthy for me either (I have anxiety issues).



Pepe
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10 Oct 2020, 5:35 pm

KT67 wrote:
You'll notice I don't post in the science & tech section unless I want help from someone smarter than me for eg...


You are lucky.
I, on the other hand, have no one to turn to. 8) :P :mrgreen:


_________________
Laughter is the best medicine. Age-appropriate behaviour is an arbitrary NT social construct.
Don't tell me white lies. Gaslight me at your peril. Don't give me your bad attitude.
If I'm so bad, pass me by. ;)


And one more thing,




Truth may be inconvenient but it is never politically incorrect...The Oracle of Truth has spoken...8)