Why is it so hard

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We live in a money world. Please don’t comment the useless “money doesn’t define you” interjections, they aren’t helpful. I’ve had to quit all my jobs (the longest was 11 months and I didnt even get paid) because they are too difficult to keep up with. On a sensory and mental space level, even simple daily tasks are difficult. I have no idea what jobs are so flexible, yet generate enough to be stable. I’m working on filing for SSI/DI but I don’t like to put all my eggs in one basket. I’ve been struggling with thinking of hustles I can effectively do without exhausting myself into really bad mental illnesses. I’m super f*****g stressed and feel helpless right now. I’m trying to stay positive but I just want to feel like an adult making my own big money moves. I feel trapped within the mind of a child sometimes, I feel hopeless and confused about the world often. Why is it so hard to find my footing in this merchant world? Why is it so hard to be me?

Earning a living is a way to achieve independence. It is a natural step that is part of the transition into the adult world.

Many Aspies are unemployed. Many find it difficult to make this transition. Some are very educated but even their diplomas did not open the right doors.

I could probably offer advice but do you really wish advice and would you take it and act on it, if I gave it?

The world moves at a different pace to us and the "standard" all employees have to reach is what the healthiest and fittest can do.

I have managed to work full time for a number of years now, I think it's been 13 years. I find it really difficult. I've moved around a lot looking for the right fit. I had the perfect job a couple of years ago, but they restructured the organisation and moved me to a new office and it was totally different. I hated it. So I found a new job.

I'm stressed with this job because I need to learn new things all of the time to complete new and changing projects. I hate the actual job, but I find the team really good. I actually love the learning part. It's great getting paid to sit and do online courses, but sometimes there isn't enough time to learn it all before you're thrust into a new project and I've been so ill lately that simple things are like wading through fudge for me.

So I'm in a catch 22 situation. Do I move on to a job that I can cope with better (whatever that is) and who knows who I'll end up working with or do I stick this out. better the devil you know so they say.

But I am burned out. I really could do with a 6 month break.

What do you do for work?

Yes, it is hard. Yes, it does suck.

It took me (and I am still working on it) a long time to slowly move into an area that suits me. There have been some really tough times--that is what led me to getting an ASD diagnosis late in life. But looking back, there have also been some pretty great experiences too. I guess if I had to summarize he process, keep your eyes open for opportunities and keep making small moves.

Last edited by Jiheisho on 11 Oct 2020, 6:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.

The three main reasons people get paid more are (for example)

-They can do something that other people can't do (electronics repair, a/c repair, accountant, etc)

-They can do something that others can also do, but they can do it faster and/or better (factory worker, data entry)

-They are willing to do something highly unpleasant (garbage man)

And if you're not reliable or consistent, even those may not keep you around for long. It doesn't help how good you are at something if you're never available to actually do it, or only occasionally good at it.

I cannot speak for your work habits as I do not know you well enough. But if you can find something you're good at, that others can't do, or can't do as well, and be able to do it reliably, you should be able to narrow down a field that may suit you.

Having sad that, there is still the reality that even when doing something you enjoy and are good at, it can still be frustrating or unenjoyable sometimes. That's part of life. There's only so much flexibility and leeway one can reasonably expect from the world.

So, what are you good at? Start with that.

The world requires money - no two ways about it. Its quite expensive really. I mean, toothpaste is even pricey - wth. I find being me to be quite challenging as well. You are not alone.

If you are immediately in need of food, housing, medical or mental healthcare then its time to find out what resources exist near you. The ability to sleep well can be very healing.
If you have a bit of a cushion on the necessities, then its time to make lists - what do you know how to do? what are you willing to do? what wage do you need? what transportation do you have or can you make use of? what would you enjoy doing?
Getting your resume out there can be a relatively passive first step.

This time of year a lot of companies need workers. Sometimes this is temporary work but it might also transition into at least permanent part time. Sometimes it is very stress relieving to me to take a job that maybe doesn't pay as well but I can do without much anxiety.

Woah, how to pack the pressure on.

There's plenty of mediocre employees out there with steady jobs, I'm one of them. Trying your best and being reliable is all that's needed.

I am not better or faster than others at programming, I'm kind of rubbish,I have no passion for it and ive no idea how I ended up doing this, well I was a worse web designer that's how, but I have a can do attitude and I'm easy to get along with.

You don't need to become an expert or super duper to be employable or retainable.

@beelove

Life is hard, this is true for most people.

Those born with Autism will have a harder time than most in this world to varying degrees based on our peculiarities.

I comfort myself by thinking about how lucky I am I don't have to be worried about starving to death on the streets or dying of thirst like some people in third world countries. Even in this first world country, I am thankful that I don't have to be worried about being gunned down by police (or militiamen) or arrested for no good reason. So I myself am luckier than many people that live in America.

Having said that, I must acknowledge that I empathize with many of the points you brought up. The stress, the mind of a child trapped in an adult body, the worry over earning enough money.

Times are tough right now, my advice would be to get a job as a personal shopper, a job where you receive orders from people, and simply buy items for these people. You can work for an app like Instacart or for a grocery store. Working for an app is more flexible, but I think working for the grocery store is slightly more stable.

I would also ask you to temper your expectations, this is a time of crisis, thousands upon thousands of people have lost their jobs permanently, airplane pilots come to mind, a job that doesn't have many transferable skills and thus they will have difficult times doing anything but minimum wage work unless they go back to school.

I think people on this forum would be able to offer you better advice if we better understood your situation, for example, what is your education level, what is your living situation like (renting, own a home, living in subsidized housing?) Can you drive? Do you own a car? Any trade skills? What is your goal? Do you want enough money to get by or do you want to be able to save for retirement?

If you want help, you have got to give more information than "My life sucks, I lost my job. The world is against me." This literally describes hundreds of thousands of people around the world right now, who's futures have been destroyed by the pandemic.

I tried putting people’s old photos on DVD and cloud but I realised I’d get more at my job

I still live at home, have some PUA money, and drive. I’ve worked in several restaurants and some more physically laborious jobs. I’m an artist at heart, I’ve tried tattooing but it was too much. I’ve tried commissioning, it was too slow and extremely unrewarding and stressful. I’ve also done delivering and that was physically exhausting and gave me constant anxiety driving all the time. The only things I’m good at are drawing, tarot cards, and listening lol. I cant do customer service bc i get overwhelmed easily and become incompetent. I cant do data entry, research, or just tying bc of my adhd & autism, it becomes practically impossible to complete tasks I’m not interested in for more than 30 min intervals. I’m more so at a loss for where to even take my resumes with level 2 autism.. no skills, unreliable, and several limitations.
My goal is to understand my limitations enough to get the support I need and see if working a ‘normal’ job is even the answer. My goal is to get out of this toxic household that punishes my autism instead of listening to me and attempting to understand. My goal is to live mostly comfortably, affording food, rent, transportation, and some extra of course.
Thank you for taking the time to create a response <3