boyfriend has aspergers, trying to understand
Most likely he had an ex who said he never phoned enough. Now he is compensating.
I found out my bf is AS 2 1/2 years into it, but always knew he had these quirks and obsessions and just accomidated them because he was the most intellectual and sweetest man I had ever met. I would think most AS don't like the phone, as it is hard enough for them to read what is in front of them let alone what is on the other line. Perhaps you should tell him you are flattered that he is trying to show you his affection via verizon, however, you would prefer face to face time. It is probablly causing him anxiety to have to call you so much anyway. Take the steps.
I do not rule my relationship, I let him make all the decisions to his comfort level. I am not some door mat, in fact I have quite the career and social life and have a great life, but I like my alone time with him in our own little world. It is my refuge from family, friends and other demands, and he thinks the way I do.
I also think he feels more than I do. As an NT we have the ability to shut down and manage emotions. I think an AS feels more deeply but just doesn't express it in a way an NT would recognize. Yes, we see flowers as a romantic gesture, but I see efforts to do one simple thing like put the coffee pot in the dishwasher before he runs it a greater display of affection than a billion roses. Because he remembered to do something I actually like...
Put him out of his misery and set a call schedule. It will be easier for him to follow and won't put such pressure on him. He may be a quiet shy guy, but hopefully he will bring you more pleasure than anything else in the world.
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