Why do people think solitude is such a bad thing?

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Listening to an audiobook of Charlotte's Web, and am at the part where Fern's mother doesn't like her making up stories about the animals on her uncle's farm and going there all the time to visit them. "But Fern, Darling! I wish you'd play outdoors today instead of going to Uncle Homer's farm. Find some of your playmates and do something nice outdoors. You're spending too much time in that barn. It isn't good for you to be alone so much!"

Fern protests to this and says she isn't alone and that her BEST friends are in that barn. I always wondered if Fern would be on the spectrum since all of her relatives comment on how odd she is. Anyway, this isn't the first time I've heard that solitude is supposedly so bad for you. But why is it considered so bad anyway? Fern's mother is just a stick in the mud. (And her parents should have let her keep Wilbur as a pet for the rest of his life instead of forcing Fern to sell him.)

My mother personally didn't consider it solitude if animals were around and said animals were better friends than humans anyway. I honestly believe my mother is on the spectrum too. Often times I only left my bedroom to use the restroom, eat and go to school. I was homeschooled since the 5th grade and after a while responsible for doing my studies by myself and my mom would let me eat in my room. So then I only came out to use the restroom, which was right next to my bedroom in a long hallway. My parents often commented on how it was like a visit whenever I came out of my bedroom. My dad referred to my bedroom as "the bat cave". When I was in my bedroom I was usually either studying, reading, drawing or painting.

I had to stay in a psychiatric ward for about maybe a week when I was 15 and not being allowed to stay in my room by myself was what made it so hard. They seemed concerned that I wanted to stay in my room all the time and never wanted to interact with the other kids. That traumatized me and was what led to me staying in my bedroom all the time that I previously mentioned. The only way to get me out was to take me places I wanted to go or do things I wanted to do. I had a psychiatrist who was very understanding and when my mother asked him about it he told her not to push me. I'd come out when I wanted too. Forcing me would only make me resentful. But anyway, why does society make solitude out to be such a bad thing?

Last edited by MagicMeerkat on 15 Oct 2020, 7:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I agree.

Solitude is really not a bad thing sometimes.

I don't believe I'm a Henry David Thoreau type (I'm probably friendlier )--but there are elements of him and of Grizzly Adams in my character.

Solitude is probably made out to be a bad thing as it doesn't make any one money.
Solitude can be good for people who are on a less worldly path.

Having ASD kind of makes you more prone to self isolation.

I know for a fact that i get phases where I self isolate myself, this usually is because i fall out with NT's who are my friends, or because i simply want to get away from NT's, who I do not enjoy the company of because of the way they live their lives (i.e. stealing, lying, slandering, trouble making, bullying etc.)

Solitude is not always bad.

Solitude is a place to heal.

Solitude is a place to be creatively productive.

Be-aware however that solitude is a place that can be extremely lonely and which may lead to depression.

Better to find a sole mate who has the same values and interests in life to go into solitude with.

As even if you have one friend, that can be enough to keep you going.

Who says solitude is bad? That should answer your quesion.

In a society driven by emotional rewards, solitude can seem bad.

Solitude is great!

I totally agree with your mom!! I spend most of my time with my furbabies so I dont think its solitude.

it is what it is.

Why do people think solitude is such a bad thing?

Some people don't.
Many in the spectrum prefer it.

My oldest daughter worries about me being alone a lot. She calls and checks in now and then, sometimes asks things like, "don't you get lonely?" She's an extrovert. In her mind, she's not seeing how I like I my alone time. She's thinking about how she would feel if she was alone so much. It would throw her into depression. She doesn't want that for me. When it comes to people who care about us solitary types, I think that's what it comes down to, they don't want us to feel bad like they would. for them it is a negative and they can't seem to understand how it isn't for everyone. My two cents anyway.

Because a lot of NTs are needy and depend on other people to make their entertainment along with them rather than being competent enough to be independent and do things by themselves in terms of company.

They tend not to get proper hobbies and this is probably why they find it hard.

Because honestly, sitting around thinking on your own would be a bit boring.

But sitting around reading, drawing etc? That's not boring. Playing football on your own or riding your bike as a kid? Or visiting animals like in Charlotte's Web? Not boring.

A lot of NTs are incapable of thinking this next step. So all they do is sit around and talk to each other. Or if nobody else is there, they get bored.

Yeah my mum too.

She's not aspie. She's allistic. But she's ambivert not extrovert. She can enjoy both.

She doesn't really like humans who aren't aspie and aren't vegan tbh.

She's dyslexic from a time when that wasn't understood and she's dyspraxic (same) and she was verbally dyspraxic til she was at college. She got bullied a lot in childhood including by adults.

That's probably why she's anti-human...

Our solitude deprives others of social opportunity as well as economic action. They may feel personally rejected. However, it can be overdone. Solitary confinement commonly leads to mental problems. We need new things to think about if the current information just churns around.

I love solitude. People should be allowed to be alone if that is their preference. People should not be forced into interactions they don't want to participate in.

Perhaps because isolation and "time out" are used as punishments, others see us that way; unhappy when we are alone. But I feel joyous alone. Accessing the spirit is so much easier when I am alone.

Your mom and I would probably be great friends.

I rarely got punished cos when I did something bad, I punished myself so much that I actually needed telling 'you're not completely evil you know, stop hating yourself so much'.

When I did get punished I got stuff taken off me.

Some NTs see spending time with people as their hobbies instead of getting proper hobbies. So it's the same punishment.

Wow. I believe you are absolutely right. Its all about perception. Most NTs perceive isolation as a negative consequence to something they have done. Whereas, it seems many aspies perceive isolation as a safe and calming state of being.