building a real life ASD community

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The point is not that "gentlemen" don't exist, but that it's impossible to know who they are unless you already know them, either directly or indirectly.

A big advantage of being part of a well-networked community is having a bunch of people (both women and men) whom one can trust.

On the other hand, if you're a loner, then everyone is a stranger, thus everyone is potentially dangerous.

I do, although it's taking me longer than I would have liked.

I now facilitate a peer support group that meets twice a month online. Sometime in the not-too-distant future I hope we can spawn a bunch of little social groups devoted to particular hobbies. Based on the interests of current members of the support group, these will likely include:

- A group of people into word games
- A group of people into trivia games
- An amateur meteorology club
- A group of train buffs
- A sewing hobbyist club

Hopefully we will find people other than myself willing to lead these groups and be members of an online leadership council where we can give each other advice and generally stay connected. The social groups will also share a single Meetup site until they get big enough to justify having their own individual Meetup sites (and paying their own Meetup fees).

Once we have gained experience with having a cluster of low-stakes social groups, hopefully we can then branch out into having more serious groups, such as career-oriented groups for people who work in or desire to work in particular categories of professions/occupations/jobs.

Last edited by Mona Pereth on 14 Nov 2020, 11:45 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Around 1970, an attractive young woman I knew was getting off work at 2 AM in a very tough Philadelphia neighbourhood. She had to walk about 12 blocks to get home. She'd watch out for any suspicious looking men, and would usually spot one in the first block. She'd go right up to him, and say that she was a bit nervous, so would he be willing to walk her home? Every one became a perfect gentleman, probably feeling well rewarded just by being seen with her.
She was quite good with people generally, though, so many of my AS sisters might lack the confidence to get started on this anxiety-reducer where it looks dangerous, but maybe you could work up from well-known to lesser known, and practice the boundaries.

She was lucky.


Hopefully good enough to be able to avoid those men who were truly dangerous?


Confidence is not the main issue here. A much bigger issue is that many of us are lousy judges of character, even with people we've spent some time with, much less with total strangers.

So, for us, trusting a total stranger is a very bad idea.


I think the safest approach, for a woman getting involved in a local autistic community, is to make some female friends first, then make some male friends too.

Bumping-up discussion thread: First few posts in this thread referred to the 'Sweetwater Spectrum Community' - that is a community which seems like a model for people on the spectrum.

Personally, I consider the Sweetwater Community with an open mind - that is can such a community be helpful for High Functioning Autism (HFA), or NT-like HFA people - who have difficulties with social skills beyond small-talk? In other words, people with HFA who know-enough to get by!