Chasing after those who don’t care for us!

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Jamesy
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09 Nov 2020, 8:30 pm

Why is it human nature to chase after people who care about us the least?

By chase after I mean go after someone in a romantic way obviously.



Fnord
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09 Nov 2020, 8:38 pm

Because those who care about us the least may also be the same people whom everybody chases after.  With many, many suitors from which to choose, why should they choose us?

When I first started "chasing" girls, of course I went for only the brightest, prettiest, and most popular girls in school, just like every other adolescent boy out there.  Eventually, I grew up and realized that I was missing out on a lot of beautiful women by going after only the pretty ones.  So I slowed down, looked around, and started a more deliberate pursuit of those whom most other boys thought of as plain and ordinary.  Soon, I was dating around and having some fun between the inevitable break-ups.  Then I met my first wife, and things went well for about a dozen years until she ran off with some other guy.  Then I hit a dry spell and met my current wife (a sweet and pretty Asian woman), and we've been together for over a quarter-century.

Had I kept "chasing" the most popular girls/women, I might still be single.


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idntonkw
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09 Nov 2020, 9:00 pm

Jamesy wrote:
Why is it human nature to chase after people who care about us the least?

By chase after I mean go after someone in a romantic way obviously.


Because it's easier to notice them, to be motivated to try to go after them, and sometimes they are the ones showing us some interest. I made that mistake because the less pretty girls weren't as upfront about being interested in me and their signals of interest were too subtle for me to see. I would have to take MORE initiative with the less pretty girls.



Pepe
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10 Nov 2020, 3:40 am

Fnord wrote:
Because those who care about us the least may also be the same people whom everybody chases after.  With many, many suitors from which to choose, why should they choose us?

When I first started "chasing" girls, of course I went for only the brightest, prettiest, and most popular girls in school, just like every other adolescent boy out there.  Eventually, I grew up and realized that I was missing out on a lot of beautiful women by going after only the pretty ones.  So I slowed down, looked around, and started a more deliberate pursuit of those whom most other boys thought of as plain and ordinary.  Soon, I was dating around and having some fun between the inevitable break-ups.  Then I met my first wife, and things went well for about a dozen years until she ran off with some other guy.  Then I hit a dry spell and met my current wife (a sweet and pretty Asian woman), and we've been together for over a quarter-century.

Had I kept "chasing" the most popular girls/women, I might still be single.



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shortfatbalduglyman
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10 Nov 2020, 9:11 am

Something tabboo sounds more fascinating and tempting

If someone tells you not to think about purple elephant , all of a sudden you think about purple elephant

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SportsGamer35728
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10 Nov 2020, 9:15 am

idntonkw wrote:
Because it's easier to notice them, to be motivated to try to go after them, and sometimes they are the ones showing us some interest. I made that mistake because the less pretty girls weren't as upfront about being interested in me and their signals of interest were too subtle for me to see. I would have to take MORE initiative with the less pretty girls.

Whoa :o Never thought of it that way. Suddenly makes so much sense now! Another factor for me was the pretty girls/female athletes in high school were always friendly to me (albeit never in a romantic way). Nonetheless I'm still into them to this very day with moderate success (if you consider friendly hugs from female Olympic ice dancers, NCAA Division I basketball players, future Women's World Cup champions, UFC fighters, and WWE wrestlers, successful) along with, ironically enough, goth/punk/emo women (think Suicide Girls).



The_Face_of_Boo
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10 Nov 2020, 1:04 pm

You were not attending my lessons, James.


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Jamesy
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10 Nov 2020, 1:41 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
You were not attending my lessons, James.



I am not sure what you mean?



The_Face_of_Boo
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10 Nov 2020, 2:00 pm

Jamesy wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
You were not attending my lessons, James.



I am not sure what you mean?


http://dev.wrongplanet.net/forums/viewt ... p?t=387442


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13 Nov 2020, 2:04 am

Because us autistics have a enormous amount of challenges to face day in and day out, and for some uptight pre-madonna or wannabe Fonzie wants to throw us to the gutter because in their eyes we are just some ugly duckling. A defective organism that is incapable of handling their drama ridden lifestyle, but the truth is, can they handle our way of life? Can they handle having obstacles constantly thrown in their way, without quarter? Always having to be the target for reasons never explained. I remember that fear.



The_Face_of_Boo
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13 Nov 2020, 12:29 pm

They don’t care about us!! !

Owww!
*<— doing the dick move* :afro:


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goldfish21
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13 Nov 2020, 2:56 pm

Because we’re stupid enough to think with our dicks & hearts instead of our brains.

Chasing others almost never works. I do know some real life success stories, but in general if you have to chase someone they’re not interested or attracted to you. It’s a better approach to make yourself ever more attractive to a broader range of potential partners and attract someone vs trying to chase after anyone. Far too many people never learn or accept this and spend their lives chasing others and frustrating & disappointing themselves over and over again. Stop doing the thing that doesn’t work and try the other thing instead.


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13 Nov 2020, 3:16 pm

They sometimes say that when a young girl is mean to a boy it is because she likes him. They also say that some women play hard to get. Perhaps some people keep on believing that & thus sometimes assume that others are into them when the others don't act nice or friendly towards them. The women I made a move on were nice & friendly towards me before that which was why I thought there was a chance they might be willing to give me one but they never liked me in that way.


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13 Nov 2020, 3:23 pm

goldfish21 wrote:
Because we’re stupid enough to think with our dicks & hearts instead of our brains.

Chasing others almost never works. I do know some real life success stories, but in general if you have to chase someone they’re not interested or attracted to you. It’s a better approach to make yourself ever more attractive to a broader range of potential partners and attract someone vs trying to chase after anyone. Far too many people never learn or accept this and spend their lives chasing others and frustrating & disappointing themselves over and over again. Stop doing the thing that doesn’t work and try the other thing instead.



my grandmother chased after my grandad and they ended up married with 3 children.



goldfish21
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13 Nov 2020, 4:21 pm

It’s rare and aspies are awkward - much more likely to be perceived as creepy stalkers than persistent suitors. Probably for the best that if someone indicates they’re not interested, even if they don’t say the words but their actions show it, that you leave them be.


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13 Nov 2020, 5:11 pm

goldfish21 wrote:
Because we’re stupid enough to think with our dicks & hearts instead of our brains.

Chasing others almost never works. I do know some real life success stories, but in general if you have to chase someone they’re not interested or attracted to you. It’s a better approach to make yourself ever more attractive to a broader range of potential partners and attract someone vs trying to chase after anyone. Far too many people never learn or accept this and spend their lives chasing others and frustrating & disappointing themselves over and over again. Stop doing the thing that doesn’t work and try the other thing instead.


Speak for yourself. 8)


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Laughter is the best medicine. Age-appropriate behaviour is an arbitrary NT social construct.
Don't tell me white lies. Gaslight me at your peril. Don't give me your bad attitude.
If I'm so bad, pass me by. ;)


And one more thing,


"A stranger is a friend gang-stalker you haven't met yet."

Truth may be inconvenient but it is never politically incorrect...The Oracle of Truth has spoken...8)


THERE WILL BE NO COUP IN AMERICA!