40% of autistic men are virgins, 32% have never had a bf/gf

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Last week, I created an autism dating survey on google docs. The goal of the survey was to better understand how people with autism navigated romantic relationships and to also see whether or not people with autism struggled with dating relative to those without autism. I felt like there wasn't enough research that covers the topic of dating among people with autism.

Here are the complete results.


Section 1:
446 autistic men were surveyed
552 autistic women were surveyed
63 neurotypical men were surveyed
70 neurotypical women were surveyed


First Kiss:
26% of autistic men have never kissed
13% of autistic women have never kissed
15% of neurotypical men have never kissed
12% of neurotypical women have never kissed

First Date:
27% of autistic men have never been on a date.
14% of autistic women have never been on a date.
15% of neurotypical men have never been on a date
7% of neurotypical women have never been on a date

Virginity:
40% of autistic men are virgins
23% of autistic women are virgins
28% of neurotypical men are virgins
20% of neurotypical women are virgins

First Relationship:
32% of autistic men have never had a boyfriend/girlfriend.
14% of autistic women have never had a boyfriend/girlfriend.
17% of neurotypical men have never had a boyfriend/girlfriend.
14% of neurotypical women have never had a boyfriend/girlfriend.


Section 2:
I have a strong desire to be in a romantic relationship.
178 out of 232 autistic men agreed or strongly agreed (76%)
191 out of 293 autistic women agreed or strongly agreed (65%)
107 out of 175 who are autistic non-binary agreed or strongly agreed. (61%)
52 out of 70 neurotypical women agreed or strongly agreed (74%)
48 out of 63 neurotypical men agreed or strongly agreed (76%)

I am satisfied with how my dating life is going
50 out of 232 autistic men agreed or strongly agreed. (21%)
137 out of 293 autistic women agreed or strongly agreed. (46%)
101 out of 175 who are autistic non-binary agreed or strongly agreed (57%)
40 out of 70 neurotypical women agreed or strongly agreed (57%)
19 out of 63 neurotypical men agreed or strongly agreed (30%)

I have very little problems finding dating or sex partners.
27 out of 232 autistic men agreed or strongly agreed (11%)
80 out of 293 autistic women agreed or strongly agreed. (27%)
48 out of 175 who are autistic non-binary agreed or strongly agreed (27%)
35 out of 70 neurotypical women agreed or strongly agreed (50%)
22 out of 63 neurotypical men agreed or strongly agreed (22%)

I have a high sex drive.
134 out of 232 autistic men agreed. (57%)
91 out of 293 autistic women agreed. (31%)
66 out of who are autistic non-binary agreed or strongly agreed (37%)

I frequently feel lonely and depressed about my lack of love life.
141 out of 232 autistic men agreed or strongly agreed. (60%)
76 out of 293 autistic women agreed or strongly agreed. (25%)
39 out of 175 who are autistic non-binary agreed or strongly agreed (22%)
17 out of 70 neurotypical women agreed or strongly agreed (24%)
25 out of 63 neurotypical men agreed or strongly agreed (39%)

If I break up with my partner, I won't have much trouble finding someone new within a year.
21 out of 232 autistic men agreed or strongly agreed. (9%)
57 out of 293 autistic women agreed or strongly agreed. (19%)
33 out of 175 who are autistic non-binary agreed or strongly agreed (18%)
18 out of 70 neurotypical women agreed or strongly agreed (25%)
15 out of 63 neurotypical men agreed or strongly agreed (23%)

I am willing to date someone I find unattractive if I like their personality.
49 out of 138 autistic men agreed. (35%)
67 out of 148 autistic women agreed. (45%)
79 out of 154 who are autistic agreed (51%)
26 out of 70 neurotypical women agreed (37%)
17 out of 63 neurotypical men agreed (26%)

I believe my dating life would be easier if I were born the opposite gender.
69 out of 138 autistic men agreed. (50%)
27 out of 148 autistic women agreed. (19%)
7 out of 70 neurotypical women agreed (10%)
27 out of 63 neurotypical men agreed (42%)


I am happy in my current relationship.
29 out of 47 autistic men agreed. (61%)
61 Out of 82 autistic women agreed. (74%)
29 out of 31 neurotypical women agreed (93%)
15 out of 20 neurotypical men agreed (75%)




Section 3:
For this section, only results are shown for autistic men and autistic women.

On being aromantic or asexual:
244 out of 293 women are neither aromantic nor asexual. (83%)
216 out of 232 men are neither aromantic nor asexual. (93%)

Have you been in a relationship before?
92 out of 232 men have never been in a relationship before. (39%)
33 out of 293 women have never been in a relationship before. (11%)

How old were you when you had your first relationship?
88 men said they have never been in a relationship before. (37%)
38 men said younger than 15.
50 men said either 16 or 17.
30 men said between 18 to 21.
18 men said between 22 to 25.
6 men said between 26 to 29.
2 men said 30 or older.
32 women said they have never been in a relationship before. (10%)
85 women said younger than 15
107 women said between the ages of 15 to 17
48 women said between the ages of 18 to 21.
19 women said between 22 to 25.
2 women said between 26 and 27.
No woman reported having their first relationship older than 27.

For those of you who have never had a bf/gf before, how old are you?
Out of 99 men who reported never being in a relationship before. (4%)
4 men said they were under 15. (4%)
4 men said they were older than 40. (4%)
6 men said they were between the ages of 15 to 17. (6%)
26 men said were between the ages of 18 to 21. (26%)
28 men said they were between 22 to 25. (28%)
15 men said they were between 26 to 29. (15%)
16 men said they were 30 or older. (16%)
Out of 37 women who reported never being in a relationship before.
1 woman said they were under 15. (2%)
8 women said they were between 15 to 17. (21%)
10 women said they were between 18 to 21. (27%)
7 women said they were between 22 to 25. (18%)
5 women said they were between 26 to 29. (13%)
6 women said they were 30 or older. (16%)

How old were you when you had sex for the first time?
105 men reported being virgins. (45%)
6 men said under 15. (2%)
41 men said between the ages of 15 to 17. (17%)
47 men said between the ages of 18 to 21. (20%)
16 men said between the ages of 22 to 25. (6%)
10 men said between the ages of 26 to 29. (4%)
6 men said they were 30 or older. (2%)
61 women are virgins. (20%)
28 women said they were younger than 15. (9%)
104 women said between the ages of 15 to 17. (35%)
73 women said between the ages of 18 to 21. (24%)
22 women said between the ages of 22 to 25. (7%)
2 women said either 26 or 27. (0.68%)
No woman reported losing their virginity older than 27.

Nobody wants us. We're defective to society.

I might chip in and applaud this effort.

A few things to consider
1. Even though this is an informal survey the nature of the questions might trigger some prospective participants from participating
2. Is the platform used to garner responses able to reach a wide cross section of people with autism and NTs? or ar the users specific to the demographic who use the online platform used?
3. Are the autistic users representative of all people with autism or (as I suspect) hitting users who are in the highest end of the spectrum?
4. Finally how does the data vary across age groups, financial status etc...social and relationship status?

I'm doing my best to balance this trend out.

You know, "some" people don't want to have a sexual relationship and couldn't care less about being a virgin. I can't be the only one.

But I'm an aspie woman, so obviously I don't have any problems at all.

I've never had sex or a relationship and quite frankly, I don't give a damn.

So OP. Assuming that you're not a troll, what motivates you to post these stats. Also, where is the link to the study?

I’m biologically female and perfectly happy with the knowledge that it’s as close to certain as things get that I will die a virgin. But then again, I’m not so “high-functioning,” and people can tell that at a glance.