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XFilesGeek
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06 Dec 2020, 8:50 pm

My mother passed away on December 3rd. She was the person I loved most in the world. I feel like sh_t.

In the past couple of days, I've packed-up her things and got rid of most of her clothes. Some people might think I'm a ghoul for that, but I needed something practical to focus on. I don't know. Maybe I'm doing this "grief" thing wrong, but I'm completely alone. My closest family is 1,000 miles away. At least I still have my dog.

Tomorrow I go to the funeral home to make final arrangements. I know my mother wouldn't want me to be sad, and I'm trying hard to stay positive, but I guess I'm still too much of a base animal to transcend my negative emotions.

*Sigh* Thanks for listening. I just needed to vent.


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Mountain Goat
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06 Dec 2020, 8:53 pm

Oh noo. You are not alone. You have us.

I am so sad to hear. I would do anything to change things if I could.


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IsabellaLinton
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06 Dec 2020, 9:01 pm

Sending heartfelt condolences.

I'm so sorry for your loss. :(


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XFilesGeek
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06 Dec 2020, 9:13 pm

Thanks, guys.

Also, IL, I'm glad you're back. This forum is elevated by your presence.


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Juliette
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06 Dec 2020, 9:40 pm

So very sorry to read this, XFilesGeek.

You are doing exactly what I too would be doing ... I would need to pack/remove all trace of my mother’s things in order to cope. I did this similarly when someone moved out of my home recently. To see their belongings, only reminds me of them, at a time, when I’m already dealing with the loss. I might be numb to the emotions or I might be full on letting it all out, but I need all the help I can get on getting through the past, the present and the future, so the clothes/belongings/reminders need to be out of sight or gone.

The process of loss and grieving, especially with the loss of a mother, is unbelievably tough. You’re doing what you need to do. I’m glad you have your dog. Remind yourself that you will get through this ... that you are your mother’s daughter and you can draw from the strength that she gave to you. In my toughest times in life, I’ve always strongly felt my mother’s and grandmother’s presence ... the two amazing women who made me who I am. Sending hugs and strength. X



AuroraBorealisGazer
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06 Dec 2020, 10:08 pm

I am sorry for your loss XFilesGeek :(



Tim_Tex
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06 Dec 2020, 10:10 pm

I am so sorry to hear.

(hugs)


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Sylkat
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07 Dec 2020, 12:44 am

Losing her sounds devastating for you.
I am sorry you are going through this.
Perhaps gathering her things is an opportunity to relive memories of good times and events with her.
She would want you to keep the happy times in your heart.
We all hope your memories of her love for you will give you strength and comfort.
God bless. :heart:


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Pepe
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07 Dec 2020, 12:51 am

XFilesGeek wrote:
My mother passed away on December 3rd. She was the person I loved most in the world. I feel like sh_t.

In the past couple of days, I've packed-up her things and got rid of most of her clothes. Some people might think I'm a ghoul for that, but I needed something practical to focus on. I don't know. Maybe I'm doing this "grief" thing wrong, but I'm completely alone. My closest family is 1,000 miles away. At least I still have my dog.


You are handling things better than I did, when my mother passed away, not that many years ago.

XFilesGeek wrote:
Tomorrow I go to the funeral home to make final arrangements. I know my mother wouldn't want me to be sad, and I'm trying hard to stay positive, but I guess I'm still too much of a base animal to transcend my negative emotions.

*Sigh* Thanks for listening. I just needed to vent.


Keep busy and distract yourself.
Try to do new things.
Take your dog to new, different places.

All the best.



madbutnotmad
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07 Dec 2020, 12:55 am

Sorry to hear of your loss. It must be an extremely difficult time.
Although you may be clearing out her things to give you a focus,
perhaps consider giving one or two of her things to a friend or someone
who you trust, even send to your relative.

As later on after the shock of your loss has reduced, to a bearable level.
You may want one or two of her things around to remind you of her
and to give you something that gives you a connection with her.

I wish you well during your tough time.



magz
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07 Dec 2020, 3:01 am

Nothing smart to say... <comforting noises>


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07 Dec 2020, 4:36 am

I'm sorry to hear that.

You aren't doing the grieving process wrong; everyone have their own ways to grieve. As long as your way isn't hurting anyone, which it isn't, it's the right way.



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07 Dec 2020, 10:50 am

Image
... it's gonna be okay, bro...
:heart:



Tempus Fugit
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07 Dec 2020, 11:09 am

I'm sorry for your loss.

And I think the way you are handling it is just fine.



Steve1963
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07 Dec 2020, 11:15 am

sorry for your loss.

remember there is no right way to grieve. do what you feel.



Joe90
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07 Dec 2020, 11:40 am

I am so sorry to hear your mum passed away and that you're alone. It must be awfully sad for you. *Hugs* :cry:


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