Page 1 of 7 [ 98 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 7  Next

Lost_dragon
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,738
Location: England

08 Dec 2020, 8:23 am

1) Recently, I had my T-shirt tucked in to my jeans and my sister remarked "Why are you doing that? It's a bloke thing" which...what? :scratch: That's oddly specific. I know quite a few feminine women who do the same, so it's never struck me as particularly masculine.

2) Men rejecting pink. I mean, personally I prefer indigo and I'm not really one for pink usually. However, I've heard of stories of men refusing to use objects that happened to be pink which is utterly baffling to me. I hate lime green, but not to the point of refusing to use objects in that colour. On the other hand, a male friend of mine loves pink and neon (whereas I prefer earthy pastels and purples) so I do find it strange when my family say something like "you know how men are about pink", uh...no?

3) People being disturbed by men wearing make-up and women not wearing make-up. If you think men shouldn't be extravagant, then I really have to wonder what your view is on peacocks. Sometimes when I'm watching TV with my mum she asks me what I think about the fact a man is wearing nail polish and apparently this is shocking...but why? It's just a bit of colour on his nails, why am I supposed to care about that?

4) Men not crying. To me, emotional suppression shows a lack of confidence because you don't feel secure enough / fear the reactions of others too much to show vulnerability. I pity that, I don't find it admirable and I certainly don't understand when others idolise this. Particularly when someone brags about how they didn't cry when a fictional character died, um alright. Further, crying can be a beneficial emotional release and can sometimes help to reduce pain. Resilience is admirable, but sensitivity / emotional acknowledgement and empathy does not rule out resilience.


_________________
24. Possibly B.A.P.


KT67
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 May 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,807

08 Dec 2020, 8:40 am

I find it ridiculous that every Christmas regardless of if someone's an alcoholic (in fact, my stepdad said 'that means he'll drink it') my family give all the women they vaguely know toiletries and all the men they vaguely know alcohol. Just give gifts to people you know well enough to know what they'd actually want and if he's a drinker or she's into toiletries, you'll know the right brands...

My parents debated whether horror was for 'women or men' instead of just accepting anyone can like any genre. Apparently my stepdad thinks they're for men because they're scary. My mum thinks they're for tough women but not men, men like action movies instead apparently.

I was at a book club and this woman announced that for the benefit of one guy we should start reading thrillers. He didn't even like thrillers. She did. She made it gendered instead of just putting her own pov across.

My great aunt writes 'dear mrs [stepdad's name]' on my mum's Christmas card. My mum's surname isn't even the same as my stepdad and she's been married to him for 10 years, so it's about time my great aunt recognised that.


_________________
Not actually a girl
He/him


KT67
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 May 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,807

08 Dec 2020, 8:41 am

Lost_dragon wrote:

3) People being disturbed by men wearing make-up and women not wearing make-up. If you think men shouldn't be extravagant, then I really have to wonder what your view is on peacocks. Sometimes when I'm watching TV with my mum she asks me what I think about the fact a man is wearing nail polish and apparently this is shocking...but why? It's just a bit of colour on his nails, why am I supposed to care about that?



It's so arbitrary.


_________________
Not actually a girl
He/him


Bradleigh
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 May 2008
Age: 33
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 6,669
Location: Brisbane, Australia

08 Dec 2020, 7:56 pm

If I had to pick something in particular as strange, it is weird when I see comments like a woman is suddenly ruined from being a woman or something when she gets a short haircut. Maybe I am mostly talking about audience reaction to characters but it feels like people get weirder out when a female character suddenly cuts her hair.

In general also so sick of expectations of men needing to put up tough appearances. Lots of guys put it on themselves, and not really getting it was a reason that being non-binary.


_________________
Through dream I travel, at lantern's call
To consume the flames of a kingdom's fall


alphaEmpathy
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 5 Dec 2013
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Posts: 31
Location: Yeeyeeland, USA

09 Dec 2020, 7:35 pm

Bradleigh wrote:
If I had to pick something in particular as strange, it is weird when I see comments like a woman is suddenly ruined from being a woman or something when she gets a short haircut. Maybe I am mostly talking about audience reaction to characters but it feels like people get weirder out when a female character suddenly cuts her hair.


I can't find the post now, but years ago I found pictures of a trans woman who started transitioning while having buzzed hair, and by the time it grew out into a pixie cut she passed really well and just looked like a cis woman with short hair. Not everyone is that lucky when they transition, but I think some people just fit certain hair lengths better than others even if they're "too short" or "too long" according to stereotypes. That being said as a trans guy, I think I personally look bad with an undercut that's long on the top (eyebrow-length or longer), and look a lot better with my hair shorter on top or shaggy all over. Otherwise I just look like a lesbian. I've seen younger cis guys and guys with baby faces on haircutting youtube channels have this same problem.



alphaEmpathy
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 5 Dec 2013
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Posts: 31
Location: Yeeyeeland, USA

09 Dec 2020, 8:05 pm

KT67 wrote:
I find it ridiculous that every Christmas regardless of if someone's an alcoholic (in fact, my stepdad said 'that means he'll drink it') my family give all the women they vaguely know toiletries and all the men they vaguely know alcohol. Just give gifts to people you know well enough to know what they'd actually want and if he's a drinker or she's into toiletries, you'll know the right brands...


I like beer more than any other type of alcohol and wouldn't really know what to do with hard liquor as gifts unless I was experimenting with a cocktail recipe I found on Youtube. (With the exception of vodka which I'd make Moscow mules with or mix with pickle juice) I don't like sweet cocktails but don't like the taste of hard liquor by itself, so what I can make with them might be limited to something savory, spicy, bitter, or sour. Wine is ok and I'll still drink it if I was gifted it, but it can be sweeter than I want. My preferred alcohol gift would be a really citrusy IPA. As far as weird sensory effects of my autism, I can't stand sweet food unless it's covered up by some other kind of flavor and that extends to alcoholic drinks.



HeroOfHyrule
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2020
Age: 22
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,247

09 Dec 2020, 8:15 pm

The particular activities that men and women are "supposed" to do. I don't mind people who want to live that lifestyle, where women do activities like cooking, sewing, etc. and men do activities like take out the garbage, fix cars, etc. When it's forced on other people it's really weird though. I think all those skills are useful to have regardless of gender and that they're shared responsibilities. Some guys even wait until their wives get home from work to make dinner for them, which is fine if you're both okay with that, but I've seen some complain. If you're gonna complain just make dinner when you get home.



CherryTomato
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 17 Feb 2021
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Posts: 5

17 Feb 2021, 2:03 pm

1. My mom was convinced girls needed to bond over musical theater. I struggled to comprehend why people kept bursting out into song instead of just directly stating what they needed and couldn't separate the singing from background music. I still identify as female, but I struggle to identify with females in my family because of how strongly gender norms like this were emphasized.

2. I strongly believe skirts should be gender neutral. I wear them because I don't like the bunchy feelings shorts/pants create, and it's so weird that a boy is less free to do the same. When I first discovered the joys of skirts, some family members and classmates told me they were glad I had finally decided to be a woman again... it was so confusing because it's not like I stopped being a woman when wearing pants.



NaturalEntity
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Jan 2021
Age: 19
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 1,234
Location: UK

17 Feb 2021, 2:53 pm

All of these are great but let me add one:
In some cases, women not being 'sexy' is seen as confusing. Not all women have to be conventionally sexy??? Why are people so het up about this sometimes??? (I'm an asexual so I never saw the problem with it.)


_________________
Opinion polls have officially begun!
Posting will be on and off due to school studies for a while. I am still around though and will occasionally pop in!


Bradleigh
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 May 2008
Age: 33
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 6,669
Location: Brisbane, Australia

17 Feb 2021, 3:47 pm

CherryTomato wrote:
2. I strongly believe skirts should be gender neutral. I wear them because I don't like the bunchy feelings shorts/pants create, and it's so weird that a boy is less free to do the same. When I first discovered the joys of skirts, some family members and classmates told me they were glad I had finally decided to be a woman again... it was so confusing because it's not like I stopped being a woman when wearing pants.


I think that I thought that since I was 7, but also understood that the attention I would get from even asking it would not be worth it. Plus, I do still like pockets.


_________________
Through dream I travel, at lantern's call
To consume the flames of a kingdom's fall


Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 59,750
Location: Stendec

17 Feb 2021, 3:53 pm

People have expressed shock when I have not only prepared a nice sit-down supper for six, but cleaned up and washed the dishes afterward.  "Women's work"?  Not in my house!


_________________
 
No love for Hamas, Hezbollah, Iranian Leadership, Islamic Jihad, other Islamic terrorist groups, OR their supporters and sympathizers.


KT67
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 May 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,807

17 Feb 2021, 4:09 pm

Heterosexual adults of opposite genders 'hating' each other.

Surely if you're into women, you like women?

And if you're into men, you like men?

But it feels like the other way around. Like straight women are often saying stuff like 'men are trash' and straight guys are often slagging women.

Even more strange when it's gay. So a lesbian slagging all women or a man saying 'men are trash'...

I feel like if romance/sex weren't things, some people wouldn't have grown out of the 'boys/girls have the lurgy' stage of development.


_________________
Not actually a girl
He/him


Bradleigh
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 May 2008
Age: 33
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 6,669
Location: Brisbane, Australia

17 Feb 2021, 4:20 pm

KT67 wrote:
Heterosexual adults of opposite genders 'hating' each other.

Surely if you're into women, you like women?

And if you're into men, you like men?

But it feels like the other way around. Like straight women are often saying stuff like 'men are trash' and straight guys are often slagging women.


There is like an entire subreddit called Are The Straights Okay that often touch on things like this.


_________________
Through dream I travel, at lantern's call
To consume the flames of a kingdom's fall


magz
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jun 2017
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 16,283
Location: Poland

18 Feb 2021, 2:28 am

Depilation.
Why is one gender so pressed on getting rid of natural body hair and the other is not?


_________________
Let's not confuse being normal with being mentally healthy.

<not moderating PPR stuff concerning East Europe>


HeroOfHyrule
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2020
Age: 22
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,247

18 Feb 2021, 2:38 am

magz wrote:
Depilation.
Why is one gender so pressed on getting rid of natural body hair and the other is not?

When I don't pass as male people sometimes give me weird looks and comment on the fact I don't shave my body hair, especially if I wear shorts. It's always frustrating because I think the expectation of shaving is a useless waste of money, plus I don't understand being that confused over someone not removing something that doesn't negatively affect them. That's one gender role I will never, ever understand.



traven
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 30 Sep 2013
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,967

18 Feb 2021, 3:22 am

fat women , in certain worlds it's a status symbol, ostentatious,
but to what purpose, a food-stack for meager times?
incapacitating woman was always status, be it high heels, corsets, burka's, pale skin or tiny feet,
co-dependency as idealized societal construct?

fashion, and put some pretend blood on as well, cheers
i just don't get the imagery of that, the vampire look ?