Wrong Answers Only

Post Reply New Topic

Noise doesn't exist unless there's a receptor to hear it.
It's just an invisible / inaudible sound wave otherwise.
Didn't you pass Introductory Physics, or are you as dumb as a radish??

Why am I in a bad mood?

Because you made noise without turning on your noise receptors, so it turned out futile.

When will my damned leg heal?

You need to treat the wood worm in your leg first before you can think of mending it or they'll just keep chewing it.

Why is there a tall green alien in my front yard?

He's one of the "illegal aliens" they keep talking about.

How to get high?

Climb mount Everest.

How to learn to swim?

Start with swimming in fire instead of water. Once you learn it, swimming in water will not be a problem.

How to get rid of fleas?

Start with swimming in fire which will incinerate the fleas. Then swim in water to wash off their corpses.

How to train a dog to fetch a ball?

Start training him to fetch a fireball. Then switch to a waterball. Finally, you get to a regular ball.

Is there any reason to watch football?

Yes or course it is the best way to improve your boredom threshold as you watch grown men kick a ball pointlessly around a field.

What is the best sport to play?

Russian roulette with nukes.

What's the best news outlet?

A place where the sun don't shine.


Do you have any balls in your house?

Every evening, there is a ball in my house, dancing minuet in white-tie dress.

What job is the easiest to be done remotely?

Doing "Nothing" is great.
The problem is, it's hard to know when you're finished.
Overtime can become habit-forming.


What to wear to a black-tie gala?

Nothing.
This way you make sure you did not put on anything inappropriate.

What to wear for a 5-o-clock?

Wear quarter of six, because it's fashionable to be late.

How come we can pay people to do work for us, but we can't pay them to relax for us?

Wrong. I've just paid a policeman to relax the rules for me.

Where to hide the body?