How to be cool

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After seeing a lot of mob movies and playing a lot of Grand Theft Auto growing up, I came to the conclusion that Aspies would make terrible gangsters/mobsters due to our brutal honesty

How to discuss sports when you really know nothing about sports:
Smile and nod a lot.
If someone is wearing a team logo smile big and say "Go (name of team)".
Wait for someone to say something then look thoughtful and say "well - you know what happened last year." (everyone will agree that they know - even those who don't know).
Wait for someone to praise a player "John Smith is awsome", wait a short while and praise the same player - or just say the name of the player in suitably glowing tones "John Smiiiiiith!"
Listen carefully - you may need to use this stuff the next conversation about sports.
( kidding! kidding! - kind of )

Once in high school I honestly asked my mother "how does a guy dress so girls want want to date him?" (why my mother? she bought all my clothes.)

She went to a men's store and found a "cool looking young man" who worked there. She bought the clothing he indicated.
Neither she nor I knew that his tastes were particular to his race and socioeconomic background and not just a small bit off from the tastes of the "cool kids" in my school. I didn't know this until years later. I was now at least somewhat better dressed and felt better about myself. No girls attempted to date me nor gave me any sign that this was an option (unless they did and I completely missed it - which is more than possible).

Being cool - it seems to me has to do with first WANTING to be cool then SLOWLY very SLOWLY learning how - middle school and high school is probably one of the hardest places to try to become cool - since probably EVERYONE is also trying and NOONE wants you to take his/her spot.

Frankly - If I had to go back - I would start with the library and look for books on social skills and non-verbal communication.

When I dated my wife I actually bought several books on "romance" of the how-to variety.

Large bookstores and on-line bookstores have this kind of thing too.

In college a friend of mine (who was nearly as geeky as I was) started regularly participating in a forum called "alt.romance".

The idea had frankly never occurred to me to ASK people my own age.

Last edited by Fenn on 30 Mar 2021, 3:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.

i can't make myself pretend to dig sports. and furthermore, i won't. hmph.

I see a lot of women's profiles where they talk about how much they love sports. I guess they are looking for a guy that is a lot different than me.

The only trouble....is that I DO dig sports....which makes me a bad Aspie

For Shame ..... bad Aspie ..... I can’t believe it kraftie ......lolz. Joke.

OP said that he liked football too -
I was just talking.
When the conversation turns to sports I often feel left behind.

I think the best way to be cool is just don't.

Wear as stylish , not too tight fitting
dress mid length ,a light willowy scarf , and a big stylish sun hat with shiney bobbuly earrings .
Long cigarette holder .. whether you smoke or or not , and of course a martini glass in the other hand .
With a open copy of Cosmopolitan in front of you .
Caricature of a cool looking woman ? Per 1930s. Media . :

Cool is relative. I don't think it applies as much outside of a high school setting.

Particular behaviours may be considered cool by one group and uncool by another. Frankly it depends what you're going for, cool is a fairly vague term. I don't pride myself in being uncool, nor do I consider myself cool. Rather, I simply exist. Some people like me, others don't, the rest have no real opinion on the matter.

Cool with who, may I ask?

I’m “cool” with all of my friends, now are those friends considered to be “cool”? Idk, to some people they are.

I’ve been friends with people who I guess were “cool” kids, as in, a higher percentage of people considered them cool than considered other people cool. But there were always people who didn’t consider them cool.

Cool is very subjective, it’s best to simply find a group of friends or just friends that you get along with, and then you’ll be “cool”, at least to some. And it’ll be a natural cool, not faking being someone else just to be “cool.”

Here’s an example of how subjective cool is. One of the girls from my high school told me that I was way too cool for anyone in that school. Many, probably most, would not consider me “cool”, and some, I know for a fact considered me the exact opposite of cool (as in wow, what a pathetic joke this kid is).

I never believed in cool, tbh.

i'd rather be cool than hot and sweaty.

lololol ... me too.

Yeah. So I browsed this FB singles group yesterday. It was filled with pictures of cool people. Big, glowering men with no shirt on, showing off their muscles and tattoos, often wearing sunglasses (indoors, lol, so self-conscious...) and women, posing with their butts presented for the camera, but the women had more clothes on... mainly, BBW (Big Booty Women). Mostly black, but about 30% white and some other races mixed in. A lot of scammer type women, you can just tell they are looking for marks, probably not women at all.

I know this message is already too long, sorry... that's me... Aunt Blabby is going to reply with a single line that just summarizes it all... but I'm wrapping up with a Moral.

And my thought was, these "cool" people are childish, I mean the guys look like they just got released out of prison to be honest, so many tattoos and hairstyles that indicate no employer would hire them, at least not for office work or anything with a social dimension. But they looked all childish to me, immature, and my thinking is there is no way they can avoid prison in our society... they have one foot on the mousetrap already. I mean the judge takes a look at the guy and he goes, TEN YEARS! just like that...

Anyways...just needed to vent. I so wanted to share this advice on the FB group but then I also thought: these guys could come kick my ass

Aaugh....! so much for Social media and dating .

Yeah it's rough, I tell ya.

I, on the other hand, am single. And, I have not been to prison.

Also, I have a job. And all my teeth.

I even got vaccinated.

--"Mr. Eligible"