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garraty
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18 Dec 2020, 8:47 pm

It appears that everybody who is on the spectrum behaves as if they (we) sense less feedback from social interaction than neurotypicals do. Social interaction is less rewarding. We don't feel as strong a need to develop social and communication skills.
This should mean that everybody who is on the spectrum is an introvert. Are they?



CarlM
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18 Dec 2020, 9:04 pm

No, we are not all introverts. We get plenty of feedback from social interaction, it just tends to be negative. We should be taught social skill when young to compensate for our shortcomings in this area.


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Joe90
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18 Dec 2020, 10:22 pm

I consider myself an extrovert, but whenever I've took any personality tests it's always said I'm introverted.
But I've always been a very sociable person and as a child I always craved company of other children to the point where I'd have meltdowns if I was unable to play with any children for one (non-school) day.
I'm also so interested in other people, I enjoy social interaction and gossip, and chatting never tires me out.

A lot of people (NT or not) are actually ambiverts, which is a person who has a balance of extrovert and introvert features in their personality. I think I'm this.


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Edna3362
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18 Dec 2020, 11:17 pm

Reason why Aspergers can be mistaken for introversion;

-Anxiety and it's effects that can look like this whole list
-Feedbacks of social awkwardness, negative experiences
-Social disinterest, cluelessness, the type who basically never felt loneliness, non-conformists
-Sensory and emotional intolerance, low stimuli threshold, weak stamina or easily exhausted for any reason that would favor solitary
-Certain personality stereotypes that overlaps with common aspie traits; bookish type, soft type, easily embarrassed type, etc.
-Effects of, not necessarily the cause; withdrawal, poor communication, trauma, dealing with something else like depression...


I lack the social drive, yet I'm an ambivert from the start and it's not the consistent and balanced type.
Due to certain sensitivities towards a set of conditions and circumstances both internal and external.

Had very mixed bag of feedbacks and social experiences; and I get to figure my own whys of social willingness and unwillingness with or without apparent reasons. :o


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y-pod
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19 Dec 2020, 10:29 am

Of course not. I'm sure there are many posts like this before. This is your first post here so I can understand.

We have four aspies in my family, two are introverts and two extroverts. I am social, talkative and super huggy. :D I talk to people easily and make new friends all the time, but can't maintain them. It's like picking fruits with a basket with a gaping hole. You keep picking more and losing them all the time. I often crave social interactions with other extroverts. Sorry about that, but I don't crave sitting with a couple silent people who just stare at me, not initiate any conversation and take a long time to respond to any question. Introverts are great to do activities together, like video games, board games, jigsaw puzzles, eating and drinking and sex. :D Just a little perspective from an extrovert. If you do a search you'll find a lot of responses.


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19 Dec 2020, 12:32 pm

Welcome to wrong planet.

I agree with what was said above.


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skiddlebugz
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19 Dec 2020, 7:04 pm

I do believe that aspies can come from both the introvert and extrovert side. I tend to be more of a introvert but i do crave interaction with others friendship wise and relationship wise. It’s not like introverts are wanting to be completely alone, interaction and maintaining these two types of relationships is important for everyone to some extent from what i believe


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19 Dec 2020, 11:58 pm

I am definitely an introvert, but I don't think all aspies are introverts. It seems to me its a generalization or stereotype.



hurtloam
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20 Dec 2020, 5:11 am

Sometimes aspies seem to be introverts because when they wanted company people kept rejecting them. So they learned that it's less painful to be content on their own. They wpuld prefer company, bit no one likes them.

I'm an ambivert. Some people totally exhaust me. But others I enjoy spending time with and I feel better afterwards. I need my alone time, but I get sad and lonely without company.

Problem is, although people generally like me they don't tend to want to be friends with me. I've given up. It is what it is and trying has made me more tired out than just being content on my own.

So to an outsider I look like a raging introvert.

It's a vicious circle, if people assume you're ok on your own they won't bother trying to befriend you. Can't win.



AnonymousAnonymous
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20 Dec 2020, 3:00 pm

It's just a stereotype that like many people on the spectrum, I view as obnoxious.


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20 Dec 2020, 6:49 pm

I can be quite extroverted around my friends. I'm more introverted around my family.


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Rexi
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21 Dec 2020, 12:00 am

I love meeting new people but it can be a challenge to talk sometimes especially in some situations like a funeral when my uncle labeled my family 'of mutes' because of me not adding to the conversation, in one of his tasteless jokes. I also don't know if I should be casually talking then so because I respect the people I will not act like it's a full social thing. I do not feel left out, I am probably enjoying the conversation. Maybe it was also a conversation that had no debates so having something to add to it wasn't easy. I mean, who cares that ive been dating online and been depressed, had relationship trouble?That's my life. Don't need to show it once in a lifetime when relatives meet up. It's personal, and uncommon to them.

Otherwise I like to share my point of view and talk. I am sometimes reluctant to do it though, with some people, or shy.

I have low energy and it can get drained in some talks. But in others it can be joyful granting and maybe a little bit refreshing.
With the right person i could talk almost without stop every day.



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21 Dec 2020, 1:10 am

I am an extrovert.
I am that in-your-face flavor of awkward.
I feel nervous and hesitant too... it just only hits me like 20 seconds after I blurt out every thought in my head to a crowd of people I don't know.


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MrsPeel
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21 Dec 2020, 2:14 am

In personality tests I come out as very introverted.
But I actually enjoy being with friends and family, and I get lonely by myself.
So maybe I'm naturally an extrovert and it's just the autism forcing me towards an introverted lifestyle?
I'm not sure.



AnonymousAnonymous
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26 Dec 2020, 2:44 pm

I do not view myself as an introvert, but it would depend on who I interact with.


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26 Dec 2020, 3:48 pm

This is a really interesting topic...I am in agreement with the consensus among you all...Indeed, it is only a stereotype that all Aspies are introverts...

First, we must understand the difference between an extrovert and an introvert...This is not always clear-cut...For example, one may be shy and appear to be introvert, when in reality one is extrovert...A healthy extrovert, generally speaking, gets energized when surrounded by people...While introverts loose energy when forced into some social situations...Others, like me, find themselves somewhere in the middle, and adapt well to most social settings...Still, even the most extroverted of individuals needs his or her time alone to 'recharge' as well...

Secondly, for purposes of this discussion, let's also clarify that, as a general rule, all healthy human beings crave human connection--extroverts and introverts, those on the spectrum inclusive...Although, NOT necessarily to the same degree...In the case of some introverts, their spouse satisfies their need for human connection...Such is the case of my parents, both of whom are true introverts, and neither of them is on the spectrum...

Interestingly, both my sister and my brother--who are not on the spectrum--are among the most social introverts i have ever met...I want to believe that having ME, who is slightly more inclined to extroversion, as their sibling helped them develop good social skills...In my case, surely growing-up with all INTROVERTS in my immediate family, helped me become more understanding of introverts and their need for personal space...In fact, i suspect that growing-up with ALL introverts in my immediate family may have subconsciously influenced my selection of who I married--my beloved Aspie... :wink:

Like my non-autistic siblings, my husband, in the right social setting, can be the most sociable of introverts...When i met my husband, appx three years and a half ago, he had learned to mask his autistic traits very well...However, looking back closer, i now realize that--outside the social circle in which i met him--he was a loner...I can only imagine what a story of rejection after rejection can do to a human being...Please know that my heart bends towards those of you on the spectrum who have been forced to reclusion long before the pandemic...When things get better, and we survive this pandemic, please do not isolate yourselves...

Rest assured, my dear friends, that there are people here in WP who care about you...And if circumstances allowed for, we would be more than willing to extend a helping hand...I leave you all with this positive thought... :heart: :heart: :heart: