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former WP member "ASS-P" passed away yesterday, jan. 4, '21

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auntblabby
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12 May 2022, 1:43 am

i hope he will forgive me for not being a better friend. but i should not expect such.



Fenn
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12 May 2022, 7:59 am

^ it may really be he can see things much more clearly now than he could in life


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auntblabby
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12 May 2022, 8:58 am

as will we all, eventually.



kraftiekortie
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12 May 2022, 9:07 am

^In truth, you did as much as you could do.

It was up to him to do the rest.

In his heart, I believe he knew that.



auntblabby
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13 May 2022, 5:53 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
^In truth, you did as much as you could do. It was up to him to do the rest. In his heart, I believe he knew that.

i should have tried harder to meet him and let him "flop" in my shed. part of me thinks that, another part of me thinks he could have gotten me into serious trouble with my fascist homeowners' association.



Fenn
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13 May 2022, 7:38 am

Blabs -
When i find myself in self criticism I have learned a few things: sometimes I am right in my criticism and sometimes I am wrong. And sometimes I am ruminating and getting into all-or-nothing thinking. The difference between shame and guilt is shame says “I am no good” and guilt says “that thing I did was no good”. The former is all-or-nothing thinking and usually not true. The truth for me is that I do really sometimes do wrong. I have had to learn that I cannot change the past (so far every time I have tried it hasn’t worked) but I can make amends. Sometimes amends can be some kind of apology and/or an action. In this case you might consider writing your departed friend a letter and/or looking for a chance to do volunteer social work or peer support/counselling maybe with the vets (Or here on WP) as amends. You can also take a personal inventory of BOTH the good you did for your friend, and the not so good. Not just the second category. Sounds to me you did more than many.


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auntblabby
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14 May 2022, 5:21 am

^^^thank you Fenn :) i help out in small ways that i can accomplish.



blazingstar
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14 May 2022, 8:13 pm

auntblabby wrote:
i hope he will forgive me for not being a better friend. but i should not expect such.


AB, without rehashing the entire issue, I know you did everything you could to help him and went way beyond what most would do. It's extremely hard to watch someone destroy himself and you (editorially) wish you could have done more.

You are a good man and God knows this. :heart:

And with the grace of God, Ass-P knows that too.


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auntblabby
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14 May 2022, 9:36 pm

blazingstar wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
i hope he will forgive me for not being a better friend. but i should not expect such.


AB, without rehashing the entire issue, I know you did everything you could to help him and went way beyond what most would do. It's extremely hard to watch someone destroy himself and you (editorially) wish you could have done more. You are a good man and God knows this. :heart: And with the grace of God, Ass-P knows that too.

thank you Blaze :heart:



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15 May 2022, 6:06 am

^ Just saying it as I see it. Being blunt like a good aspie. :D


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auntblabby
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15 May 2022, 7:11 am

i've been blunt and i've been soft. there is a place for both, i suppose.



ASPartOfMe
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15 May 2022, 10:07 am

blazingstar wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
i hope he will forgive me for not being a better friend. but i should not expect such.


AB, without rehashing the entire issue, I know you did everything you could to help him and went way beyond what most would do. It's extremely hard to watch someone destroy himself and you (editorially) wish you could have done more.

You are a good man and God knows this. :heart:

And with the grace of God, Ass-P knows that too.

^^^^
This


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auntblabby
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16 May 2022, 12:27 am

^^^thank you :heart:



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23 Oct 2022, 2:15 pm

I don't post often and had only a vague recollection of him bit I am sad in a larger way. I live in France and in this country services are provided to those with conditions, either mental, emotional or financial. The way my country, the United States, ignores people in need is, for me, gut wrenching. He was only 60? France, like others in Europe, taxes its citizens to provide for housing and care for the indigent. This is one of the reasons the average age of death in Europe is two or three years more than the US.



auntblabby
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23 Oct 2022, 2:42 pm

FrankStein wrote:
I don't post often and had only a vague recollection of him bit I am sad in a larger way. I live in France and in this country services are provided to those with conditions, either mental, emotional or financial. The way my country, the United States, ignores people in need is, for me, gut wrenching. He was only 60? France, like others in Europe, taxes its citizens to provide for housing and care for the indigent. This is one of the reasons the average age of death in Europe is two or three years more than the US.

amuuricans' life expectancy has been dropping for 3 years straight now.



Fenn
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24 Oct 2022, 10:10 am

Trying to strike a balance between individualism and collectivism is something all people and countries struggle with. It is possible to err on both sides.


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