Are you a spinster? (women only)

Post Reply New Topic

It's interesting to not here that the mysogny we hear doesn't often come from men. Maybe they talk about us behind our backs, who knows, but it's women who are more likely to ask things like, "haven't you met anyone yet?" "Why don't you have a boyfriend?".

I can attest to having known many beautiful women who just haven't found the "right person" yet.

Yeah, I've noticed that women tend to treat each other really horrible. I have no idea what is up with that....

Both genders can be openly crueler to one another-- many times, women tend to be easier on slightly dorky men than guys.

But I do believe that women are much openly meaner to other women. It may have something to do with the fact that we have a harder time than men in a patriarchal society, so we tend to take it out on one another and tear each other down? Who knows.

Obviously I am only 22 (bday is in two days) but I'm already worried about spinsterhood. If I met a great guy tomorrow, I'd happily marry him in a few years. I can't wait to settle down with someone who is right for me.

Not all couples sleep in the same bed. Some couples find it easier to sleep in separate beds, for one reason or another. Doesn't necessarily mean they love each other any less than those who sleep together.

Yes; but I’m not keen on the word spinster because of the negative connotations connected to the word, like “old maid”. A sad, lonely, bitter, frail old woman sitting in a dilapidated house, looking out of her window watching other vibrant people live their lives.

Batchelor, on the other hand, sounds quite glamorous and mysterious. The man no woman could tame.

I’ll never get married now. When I was younger I would’ve loved to be a wife but now I don’t care.

It's kind of a heterocentric concept, doesn't seem to apply to me.

No, I am married: I needed someone to feed me (buy groceries, make meals). My AS-like BFF is more independent that way (although she eats a lot of beans and ice cream when left to her own devices) and was single most her life. In her 40s she became a semi-spinster: she has a steady but detached relationship (separate homes, limited communication, but a companion for occasional travel - oh, and he cooks or buys more balanced meals when he's visiting).

The movie Color Purple was always a favorite of mine; Celie becomes a spinster - it works well for her. In my genealogy I came upon a "crazy" many-times-great-aunt who was a spinster from the early 1900s (clothing apparel). There was a whole lot of hubbub when she died b/c in life she would ask for bus fare and the like from her sisters (who assumed she was poor) and come to find out she died rich and gave it to her nieces (snubbing her sisters, who didn't need it of course, right?).

Happy belated birthday, hope you had a good one.

I'm not to keen on the word "Spinster' I just think of an old woman with gnarled hands smoking a pipe.
Not to worried about "old maid" though although I don't think that term is used now, women under 40 years could be called "Bachelorettes" and the rest of us "Single Women"

Come to think of it, my partner has two aunts in France who are bona fide "spinsters". They immigrated form Latin America to France, were taught textile works and did that for their entire lives. They are in their 80s now, retired and remain single. I am not clear on their neurotypes. One is pushy and the other is the opposite. They keep to themselves mostly. When the pandemic is over, they want to return to their native country.

Spinster and widowhood , are they the same as was widowed many years back . But have worked on independence
For most of my life it seems . But have found few working class men give any respect to my independence even showing avarice towards it. So guess since am pretty much self service for myself , , would be considered a spinster at this point . But this has been my own experience .

Ha! YESSSSSSSS x 10000 ^

No offence to men, as I get this reaction from women as well.

It's hard to be seen as independent yet also feminine.

How very true , it would seem ...... and thank you for your point of veiw Too.

Yes, nowadays I would have to say I really am -I have the cats and everything! I'm a little embarrassed about it, but really, I don't think it makes me any less of a person. I could have got into mediocre relationships with people I don't really love/are abusive, just so as not to be alone. But I've chosen not to go that route. I'm happier on my own than in a bad relationship. I've always been that way.

On some level, I feel like a romantic relationship is about having a "home base", a partner to turn to to pick up your slack, and you pick up theirs. Someone for comfort and confidance. Love is something that you build, it's not just something that sparks out of nowhere.'

Basic compatibility is a must, but I love the idea that you just choose this other person to stick with through the thick and thin. They're just your person, not a Romeo/Juliet love story or wild love affair.

So... "settling" with a decent guy is actually very appealing to me. Stability brings its own freedom, I would feel.