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FranzOren
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14 Feb 2021, 1:42 am

I am embarrassed and I was too afraid to share this and I feel like I can't keep it to myself anymore.

I am a very confused if I am truly innocent or not. I also once had a very scary hallucination that I committed a very serious crime against someone.

It is very scary and it felt so real to the point where I have a very hard time to stop believing the hallucination that I had.

I told my family about this and they said that I am innocent.

But I still tend to believe that hallucination that I once had, despite the evidence of the contrary.

My dad explained to me if that was the case I would be in prison, jail or mental institution by now. But then again, I still have hard time grasping if what I truly saw was actually not true.

I am sorry, I feel embarrassed.



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15 Feb 2021, 8:43 am

Hallucinations can feel very real even afterwards once you grasp it all as obviously very unsettling until you realise what happened truly did not happen...you are innocent but one thing came upon my mind when I was reading this, obviously I know nothing about you but could it have been a rare side effect of a medicine, a sleep paralysis incident as they can seem like hallucinations and feel vivid causing this paranoia now?

From your post, you are innocent, try and relax and let it go. You did nothing wrong. You are innocent.

*Apologies in advance if I misinterpreted anything and hoping you feel more settled about this real soon.


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FranzOren
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15 Feb 2021, 11:29 am

Thank you!



CollegeGirlAnon
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15 Feb 2021, 12:20 pm

Hallucinations can feel real, but reality checking can help!!


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FranzOren
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15 Feb 2021, 12:27 pm

Thank you!

I should like do some kind of mental evaluation or talk to my law enforcement or my therapist to help get my reality in check.

I am also talking medications for ADHD and Bipolar Disorder.



CollegeGirlAnon
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15 Feb 2021, 12:43 pm

FranzOren wrote:
Thank you!

I should like do some kind of mental evaluation or talk to my law enforcement or my therapist to help get my reality in check.

I am also talking medications for ADHD and Bipolar Disorder.


I would share your thoughts with whoever prescribes your medications. And I would get some type of evaluation.

But also, if what you think you did would be impossible to pull off without anyone close to you knowing then I would put stock in what they say in regards to you having done it or not.


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FranzOren
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15 Feb 2021, 12:52 pm

Thank you!


I also have another question.


Is it normal that I can understand the legal consensuses of my actions?

I can understand the legal consensuses of my actions, even though I am psychotic.



I only have paranoia that I did something very bad to someone because of my hallucination that I once had, but other than that I can function and be aware of myself in most areas.


It's just that when I was fifteen years old, I was completely deranged with delusions and hallucinations for one month when I was fifteen years old.

I improved a lot sense then.



CollegeGirlAnon
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15 Feb 2021, 12:56 pm

FranzOren wrote:
Thank you!


I also have another question.


Is it normal that I can understand the legal consensuses of my actions?

I can understand the legal consensuses of my actions, even though I am psychotic.



I only have paranoia that I did something very bad to someone because of my hallucination that I once had, but other than that I can function and be aware of myself in most areas.


It's just that when I was fifteen years old, I was completely deranged with delusions and hallucinations for one month when I was fifteen years old.

I improved a lot sense then.


From what I understand yes. Very few people are actually so psychotic that they have no concept of consequences.

That is why the insanity defense is so hard to pull off.


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FranzOren
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15 Feb 2021, 12:58 pm

Can diminished capacity work?

Still though a criminal should not belong in jail or prison when they are psychotic.

What I meant that they should get medical treatment while punishing them for what they did at the same time.



CollegeGirlAnon
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15 Feb 2021, 1:00 pm

FranzOren wrote:
Can diminished capacity work?

Still though a criminal should not belong in jail or prison when they are psychotic.

What I meant that they should get medical treatment while punishing them for what they did at the same time.


You would have to discuss that with a lawyer.

And I will say, there is a psych ward inside of the jail.


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FranzOren
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15 Feb 2021, 1:03 pm

Thank you, I understood.

I am also confused about my innocents, because I have history of being sometimes being violent while I had a psychotic episode.

I don't have criminal records.



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15 Feb 2021, 1:05 pm

I would speak with a psychiatrist or psychologist if I were you.
I would refrain from talking to the police or law enforcement agents of any time, for the time being.

I have a friend who suffers from the same dynamic of symptoms.
He once told me that he thought he must have raped someone, but couldn't recollect who, when or why.

I asked him for what evidence there was to suggest that this was true.
He explained to me that the reason why he thought he had raped someone, was because he thought he, in the past,
had contracted syphilis, which he decided he had even though he had no physical symptoms.

I asked him why he thought he had syphilis, he said that he had syphilis of the blood without exterior psychical symptoms, which he just knew he had, and knew that is why he had gone mad, as syphilis can make people go mad.
And the psychiatrists and doctors were simply not telling him for some reason.

This was his thought processes on the subject.
Although I believe he didn't have syphilis, but instead, suffered from paranoid schizophrenia, unfortunately for him.
And i believe it was his mental health condition that was causing him to suffer from delusions that he had this other disease, even without evidence.



CollegeGirlAnon
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15 Feb 2021, 1:10 pm

FranzOren wrote:
Thank you, I understood.

I am also confused about my innocents, because I have history of being sometimes being violent while I had a psychotic episode.

I don't have criminal records.


Do you think you did something that could be very hard to cover up?


_________________
Apparently I am an INTJ-A Personality.

TriPM Score (Taken 05/22/2021):
103 out of 174 points (99th percentile)

ADHD & ASD diagnosis made in childhood.


FranzOren
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15 Feb 2021, 1:14 pm

Thank you!

It's just if it was okay if I can talk to police officers because I felt scared and feel like a very confused man. As there are also police officers who respond to mental health crisis.

But I understood why it is better to talk to my psychiatrist about it.

I also think that I might have milder form of Schizophrenia, because I had this hallucination from my early childhood and I still feel paranoid about it and believe it to this day.



FranzOren
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15 Feb 2021, 1:20 pm

CollegeGirlAnon wrote:
FranzOren wrote:
Thank you, I understood.

I am also confused about my innocents, because I have history of being sometimes being violent while I had a psychotic episode.

I don't have criminal records.


Do you think you did something that could be very hard to cover up?



Not that I know of, but that I had this hallucination that showed that I murdered another child when I was four years old. I told my family about this and they said that I am innocent.


I feel confused, this hallucination felt so real to the point.



HeroOfHyrule
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15 Feb 2021, 1:51 pm

Your family is right, you are innocent.

If you committed a "very serious" crime against someone, and had told other people about it, you would be in jail, prison, or a mental institution right now. It's very hard to cover up crimes nowadays, even without telling others about it.

You can be psychotic and have a understanding of the legal ramifications of your actions. You can also have issues with aggression/violence while being in psychotic episodes without committing an actual crime.

Even if you did do something like this when you were four, you would still be innocent. Most four year olds don't have the capacity to knowingly cause harm like that and a lot of things like that are just accidents.

I understand though that it's very hard to shake the feeling that hallucinations are real. You can rest assured that you have done nothing wrong, and I'm very sorry that this is stressing you out so much.