Feeling unsatisfied with life

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I must admit I am in a bit of a rut at the moment in life overall. Due to personal reasons I won't go into, my academic and financial progression in life has essentially halted for a temporary yet indefinite amount of time. Though part of the cause for this is my own actions and I believe that this is just a temporary stop that will have the ultimate outcome of me having a better life, I have found that in the meantime it is very hard to be happy.

I do have hobbies but they don't really satisfy me sustainably. Sure I play some video games, but eventually every game becomes a repetitive grind with no thinking. I sometimes go outside and walk around, but I don't have that many friends overall. I have talents in some areas, but find difficulty applying them in everyday life which is loaded with procedural and again, mindless things that need to be done just to get by.

Socially, I am ok, I think. There is a massive disconnect between my online social skills and real life but I suppose that is everybody. I have friends but in a limited capacity. I am afraid to just approach a stranger and make a friend on the spot. In fact, I feel that this has became a frowned upon practice in society. And so, I feel that I must rely on reasons to actually be friends like mutual friends, work, school, a club, ect. I am 21 but I do not like drinking so bars are out of the question. Kind of funny if you think about it, how in real life you gotta have kinda a reason to randomly talk to someone but online we meet people almost exclusively like that and bond like hydrogen to oxygen near instantly in many cases.

That gets me thinking about the widespread societal impacts of the internet on society. This is a really compelling philosophical/psychological/sociological issue and an interest of mine, but this interest does not fulfill me because I cannot do anything with it. It's very hard for me to just get into something let alone something that lets me use my mind enough to be happy.

Anyway, this is just an overview of my quite boring life. If you got this far I salute you.

Ciao.

I apologize. My writing is not really relevent but I was exploring my thoughts.


I do not go to pubs. I rarely ever drink. It is the noisy atmosphere and the thought of drunk people that I don't like. I had to deal with a great many drunk people where I worked before and whilst I am not one who will condemn someone for drinking, it is not my scene and I don't want to be amongst them when they are getting drunk.
I did not know anyone my a ge who did not go to pubs and drink except one who was so wrapped into his job or church that outside of church we did not meet that often apart from a period of a couple of years, and I left the church and we lost touch. I did hear he had divorced but I have not heard from him and I do not know where he lives, though I know where his sister lives.

But anyway. Here in Wales, UK there is very much a culture where there is a welcome to all and this is nice, but to get feal friends one has to be accepted in a clique (An unofficial group of people) which means drinking and meeting in pubs. There is nothing wrong with their get togethers and they must be really missing this as they look after each other etc.
BUT, I never have really been part of groups. I have always been an outsider. Not that I am not respected but I somehow don't naturally gel in groups of people. It is like I am the one swimming upstream when everyone else swims downstream? I can't really explain it.

I remember when people of my class in collage went to me to tell me how unfashionable I was and if I wanted to be accepted I needed to dress like them in jeans etc, and someone from our class came in who like me was not wearing jeans etc, so I said "What about him?" and they said "But he is one of the boys. He is allowed to not wear jeans". (Well. How come he was "One of us and I was not? I had started class the same time they had. I had been there every day I was supposed to be there. How come he was "One of the boys" and I was not? I never did quite get that. What makes one be acceptable, because even if I wore what they wore I would stand out as being different?)
That kinda
has been my life BUT I have made a friend or two. I will say for me to make friends is rare but the few I have made are real friends.

I do admire though how others can just gel with each other and be there for each other and really enjoy each others presence. I like observing that. I love it that they are able to do that. It is a mystery to me how they can do that! I want them to continue that for ever as it is good!

But I have had quite a lonely life because I don't drink or mix well. I always seem to be on the outside of any group looking in. I seem to be one who never quite fits. Like a jigsaw piece looking for the right jigsaw and not finding it!

The problem is that the people who I did gel with well were 60 years older then me and now I am into my 40's there are hardly any left. I do wonder if I was their age, would I fit in? I don't know. Many people have said to me I was born at the wrong time, but I do not believe that because I know that I am here now.

I know the feelings when one has a type of long term mild depression where nothing satisfies. I have been there and done that, but one also needs to think "Well. Happiness is more important then anything".

I worked my way up to get in a good job which took me a decade to do. When I was in that job I was hearing others in other positions who I worked with and who were even better paid then me complaining about things. They really were not happy in their work. Work to them was a grind rather then a joy. I said "If you really are not happy, then why are you here?" They said it was the money...
So I was asking them what they would really like to do, and some said certain careers they would like to follow. Their dream jobs... But they were low paid jobs. So I said "If that is what you would be happy in, then you will even move house to a smaller house with less bills to do it and be happy" as happiness and satisfaction in life are like gold.

The problem is society today pushes people to reach the top. Society says "If one is not at the top, one has not been a success". This is a lie!
Sure for some they need to be at the top. They have skills and tallents they can't use unless they are at the top, and so for them they would not be happy unless they got to the top of their chosen profession whatever it may be, and it is good for them to be there.
But only a few need be at the top. For most of us, if we teach society to push us towards what we ourselves would love to do and be happy in it, and if society is able to provide a decent enough wage to live on in those areas of work, then what more is needed? Happiness is more important then aiming for riches.

When I heard the comment where the man was in the job just for the money alone, I really looked at him and puzzled what he was doing with his life!

Part of the problem is today that one has to study to gain qualifications to get certainwork and most of what one studied is a complete waste of time because it is never used in those professions when one gets there, and the wholw knowledge learned has been a complete waste of time. Employers who insist on certain un-neccessary qualifications mean they seriously miss out on the right people for the right jobs.
They end up with people who do the work but do not want to be there, instead of the ones who would love to be there regardless of the pay! They would even pay you to work there! Though one must never take advantage of such people. But the principle behind this... If you as an employer want the best employees, they will have the best enthusiasm towards their work. They may not initially show it due to nurves, but they will take to it like a duck to water once shown what to do so they learn the ins and outs of the job (Which usually takes at least a year).

Our problem is not that education is bad. It is good. But it needs to be used correctly.
Our problem is not that society is bad. It is more that it needs to be directed towards helping rather than preventing.
Our problem is to solve the mindset so we can put the right people in the right places and make it workable so they can take an acceptable reward for being there so they can live and thrive at what they do well.
Our problem is the failings of capitalism and how to make it work effectively so no one is left out.