What does "I'm here for you" mean?
Rhetorical question, because I'm just here to b***h LOL.
I've discovered that "I'm here for you" means "If you ever come to me with important plans and you're looking for support or for alternative suggestions, I'm going to get irritated with you for endangering my vacation and turn the conversation into you having to reassure me I'm still going to get my vacation."
Or possibly it means "We're never going to speak again f**k you bye LOL."
When they say: "I am here for you."
You hear: "I am your friend, and I will support you emotionally and financially, if necessary."
They really mean: "Stop complaining and work it out for yourself."
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Also means 'I want to virtue signal/play the hero but when it's too serious a thing I will then be capable of knowing something is out of my depth'.
I don't say it.
People say it open ended on Twitter 'dms are always open' then act surprised when they're faced with issues too complicated for them.
I'm not a counsellor.
I will help people where I have experience in the area and they're similar to me, but otherwise I just offer platitudes. Don't want to do more harm than good.
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Not actually a girl
He/him
You hear: "I am your friend, and I will support you emotionally and financially, if necessary."
They really mean: "Stop complaining and work it out for yourself."
Is that actually true? Is this an uncharitable reading of the one that I got, or is this usually what is meant? I assumed it meant "I am your friend and I will support you", and that in my case they just didn't mean it, or hoped I wouldn't take them up on it, or maybe they even meant it but when it came time to actually be supportive, they didn't have it in them.
You hear: "I am your friend, and I will support you emotionally and financially, if necessary."
They really mean: "Stop complaining and work it out for yourself."
I have also learned that when I turn down those same people when they come to me for help, their usual response is along the lines of, "Wasn't I always there for you?"
My response?
"No. You were not. Ever."
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You hear: "I am your friend, and I will support you emotionally and financially, if necessary."
They really mean: "Stop complaining and work it out for yourself."
Is that actually true? Is this an uncharitable reading of the one that I got, or is this usually what is meant? I assumed it meant "I am your friend and I will support you", and that in my case they just didn't mean it, or hoped I wouldn't take them up on it, or maybe they even meant it but when it came time to actually be supportive, they didn't have it in them.
NTs often make insincere gestures, and when you take them up on it, they look at you as though you were stupid to think they were serious.
It can sometimes be a genuine offer of support.
It really depends on the person.
I feel that people are mostly sincere when they say this sort of thing.
Sometimes, though, they might have gotten in over their heads when they said that phrase.
I, myself, don’t rely on other people too much.
I think most people are disingenuous, but not all.
I pretty much *never* fully rely on other people.
The only person you can is yourself.
I know the feeling intimately.
I'd have to agree that most of the time when someone says, You can count on me," it is pretty much garbage. Just like when people say good-bye and add "See you later," or "Talk to you later," is pretty meaningless.
There have been countless people who have helped me at various times in my life, but they have not been people who stated anything. These people just showed up and did the right thing. Different people over a life span. Not people who were even friends, or I even knew well. Thinking about these people can bring me to tears.
I learned very young (six) that I was on my own in this world. For the most part that is true. I never knew or counted on the unexpected help from others.
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The river is the melody
And sky is the refrain - Gordon Lightfoot
I didn't understand the concept of "relying on other people" until I was a teenager. I didn't know what that meant. I was too "into" myself.
I got lucky a few times with people. When I had no home, some friend took me in, and allowed me to look for an apartment. It wasn't obligatory--he wouldn't have been less of a friend had he refused. I was lucky he didn't refuse, though.
I don't believe in "obligation," whatsoever. I'm not "obligated" to do anything for anybody. And nobody is obligated to do anything for me.
I feel like most people care about others at a certain level----but usually don't want to allow other people to upset their routine.
There are "true altruists" out there. I don't fit that category. I'm more into the "enlightened self-interest" thing without being bitchy about it. I believe in treating people like I want to be treated.