21 Mar 2021, 9:26 pm
21 Mar 2021, 10:04 pm
22 Mar 2021, 11:49 am
This thread is really meaning a lot to me.
Loneliness, loss, inability to reach out or communicate, fear of a lonely, empty old age;
That’s me.
Social skills of a brick.
That’s me.
I have a doctors’ appointment today; going to ask for a med (Prozac again?) prescription, and a counseling referral.
I’ve been having some BAD days/nights.
Covid turning our world upside down helps.
A lot.
22 Mar 2021, 1:45 pm
Mona Pereth wrote:
SpottedMushroom wrote:
I have always tried making a family for myself in different ways. I don't know how, and at this point, I'm really losing hope.
Would you like to brainstorm possible ways to build an alternative extended family? (I ask because, in the Haven, we're not supposed to give advice unless the person specifically asks for advice rather than just emotional support.) This could be a worthwhile discussion for many of us, in my opinion.
If you would like to discuss this, what are some of the ways that you have already tried (unsuccessfully) to make a family for yourself?
I am usually open to advice alongside support. I think it would be a great topic.
I have been told that friends come and go naturally, depending on where life takes them. I think put simply, my idea of family is friends that stay. I think the kind of friendships I want are difficult to find because they are not what maybe the general population is interested in. I feel neutral about seeking out romantic relationships. It is not so important to me. Even if I were to be in a romantic relationship, I don't want marriage or children. It's just not something I want or aim for. I think this confuses people, or leaves them feeling threatened in some way. Or maybe they think I fear commitment and responsibility, when really, it's just not the same as the standard.
Before quarantine, I looked for volunteering opportunities or groups where I could try to feel more part of a community. I still want to, but those things have really decreased. Maybe as more people are vaccinated, things will pop up in the near future.
I understand I have wants and needs that other people cannot meet. They probably feel that way about me too. I don't want friends that just go out on weekends, or call every few weeks. I want people that I can trust, count on, spend time with, share the same values. You know, family.
22 Mar 2021, 1:48 pm
22 Mar 2021, 1:50 pm
22 Mar 2021, 3:59 pm
22 Mar 2021, 10:50 pm
SpottedMushroom wrote:
I am usually open to advice alongside support. I think it would be a great topic.
I have been told that friends come and go naturally, depending on where life takes them. I think put simply, my idea of family is friends that stay. I think the kind of friendships I want are difficult to find because they are not what maybe the general population is interested in. I feel neutral about seeking out romantic relationships. It is not so important to me. Even if I were to be in a romantic relationship, I don't want marriage or children. It's just not something I want or aim for. I think this confuses people, or leaves them feeling threatened in some way. Or maybe they think I fear commitment and responsibility, when really, it's just not the same as the standard.
I have been told that friends come and go naturally, depending on where life takes them. I think put simply, my idea of family is friends that stay. I think the kind of friendships I want are difficult to find because they are not what maybe the general population is interested in. I feel neutral about seeking out romantic relationships. It is not so important to me. Even if I were to be in a romantic relationship, I don't want marriage or children. It's just not something I want or aim for. I think this confuses people, or leaves them feeling threatened in some way. Or maybe they think I fear commitment and responsibility, when really, it's just not the same as the standard.
How do you feel about the term "aromantic"? (If you are unfamiliar with that term, see the FAQ on the Aromanticism website. Sounds like you're looking for what that website describes as a chosen family.)
SpottedMushroom wrote:
Before quarantine, I looked for volunteering opportunities or groups where I could try to feel more part of a community. I still want to, but those things have really decreased. Maybe as more people are vaccinated, things will pop up in the near future.
Have you attended any local support groups for adults on the autism spectrum? (If not, try Meetup.com, or try contacting the Autism Society of Indiana.)
SpottedMushroom wrote:
I understand I have wants and needs that other people cannot meet. They probably feel that way about me too. I don't want friends that just go out on weekends, or call every few weeks. I want people that I can trust, count on, spend time with, share the same values. You know, family.
I too want to build an alternative extended family. I'll post more about this later.
22 Mar 2021, 11:26 pm
23 Mar 2021, 2:13 am
23 Mar 2021, 10:05 pm
26 Mar 2021, 7:32 am
26 Mar 2021, 7:39 am
gingerpickles wrote:
Can related to feeling lonely. More so I want a partner. Ideally I would like to be the one spoiled and 'taken care" of for once.
My engagement tanked last summer on 9th year. LDR and Age Gap. I can be unhappy but not surprised (we only seen each other 4 X physically)
I am in better spot than you, OP, since I am not "alone". My 15 yr old lives with me and is likely to live with me all his life until his condition improves. But he is not adult, he is my child so some convos are just.. no. And he is non verbal.
My only friend within 150 miles just passed (he and his wife were a decade older and closer to my moms generation). My friend 150 miles away is very ill. That covers this state. My family here are passed or moved. My older kids are 1500 miles away+. I despise the surviving maternal family in California with a single exception. I am casually close to my paternal family in Texas. If I move there it won't be for getting closer to them.
I have one close friend remaining in MI (soooo far awaaaay!) and a handful of gaming pals.
I am not a social butterfly but I want more interaction than a cicada!
My engagement tanked last summer on 9th year. LDR and Age Gap. I can be unhappy but not surprised (we only seen each other 4 X physically)
I am in better spot than you, OP, since I am not "alone". My 15 yr old lives with me and is likely to live with me all his life until his condition improves. But he is not adult, he is my child so some convos are just.. no. And he is non verbal.
My only friend within 150 miles just passed (he and his wife were a decade older and closer to my moms generation). My friend 150 miles away is very ill. That covers this state. My family here are passed or moved. My older kids are 1500 miles away+. I despise the surviving maternal family in California with a single exception. I am casually close to my paternal family in Texas. If I move there it won't be for getting closer to them.
I have one close friend remaining in MI (soooo far awaaaay!) and a handful of gaming pals.
I am not a social butterfly but I want more interaction than a cicada!
Yes, I often find myself taking care of other people, because it comes naturally when I...you know, care about them. I too would love to be cared for. I am tired. I'm sorry to hear about your engagement and friends.
I also like your cicada quote
26 Mar 2021, 7:42 am
Sylkat wrote:
This thread is really meaning a lot to me.
Loneliness, loss, inability to reach out or communicate, fear of a lonely, empty old age;
That’s me.
Social skills of a brick.
That’s me.
I have a doctors’ appointment today; going to ask for a med (Prozac again?) prescription, and a counseling referral.
I’ve been having some BAD days/nights.
Covid turning our world upside down helps.
A lot.
Loneliness, loss, inability to reach out or communicate, fear of a lonely, empty old age;
That’s me.
Social skills of a brick.
That’s me.
I have a doctors’ appointment today; going to ask for a med (Prozac again?) prescription, and a counseling referral.
I’ve been having some BAD days/nights.
Covid turning our world upside down helps.
A lot.
I feel like it's all I do, going to doctor's appointments and making calls I dont want to, so I get that. I hope you find some relief.
26 Mar 2021, 7:44 am
29 Mar 2021, 6:01 pm
