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Diamondgirl
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25 Mar 2021, 4:25 am

Today was about just my worst day at work in a long time, I walked in on Tuesday for my first day of a 3 week rotation, it is the second time I've done this rotation, and things did not go well. I was disoriented, struggled with using and organising e-mails and spreadsheets, got bogged down with reading complicated e-mails and enquiries and tracing them back through the system. This morning my supervisor had a one on one with me and read the riot act and basically I felt faint and ended up having to ask if I could lie down in the office.

This whole episode has seriously got me rethinking my decision not to disclose my diagnosis at work. I know there are people who I annoy, I've experienced this kind of thing a couple of times before (I've worked in the same organisation all my life, embarrassing as that is) and I've always managed to absorb it and rise above it but I don't know if I can go on doing this. Trouble is, although I do have real deficits, in the past I have also been blamed unfairly for things and I worry that a disclosure might encourage that even more. I mean people who don't like me will probably continue not to like me. It's hard to know how it will be taken.

Maybe I should just tell them I do have trouble coping with change without mentioning ASD.



MrsPeel
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27 Mar 2021, 11:49 pm

Diamondgirl wrote:
Maybe I should just tell them I do have trouble coping with change without mentioning ASD.


Sounds like a good idea.
Hope things get better for you.



Diamondgirl
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28 Mar 2021, 12:09 am

Thank you for replying.

I think the stage we're at, with disclosure there's always a risk that it may take things in a not-so-good direction.

When things are going well I tend to think I don't need help.

When things go badly it reminds me that yep I actually do.



SocOfAutism
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31 Mar 2021, 10:38 am

I really would not disclose. I dont think people ever should unless they are at near friend level with their boss.

You never know what ridiculous ideas another person might have.

Do what you said, say you get a little overwhelmed sometimes, and then ask if it's okay to do X or Y to keep yourself on track. Essentially make your own accommodations but don't call them that. Then dazzle them with your skills!

Suggestion: Print out the long spreadsheets and emails and then color code them for yourself. Use a paper day planner/calendar.



Fnord
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31 Mar 2021, 10:46 am

Instead of disclosing, I have found it effective to tell the boss something like, "I am going through a lot of crap with family right now, and I hope it is not too much trouble if I need a little more 'personal space' until everything blows over."

It was never a lie -- I am always "going through a lot of crap with family", and getting a little more personal space is my goal.


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kraftiekortie
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31 Mar 2021, 10:50 am

I'm weird enough-----without telling the boss WHY I'm weird.

I wouldn't say anything that indicates I am something other than a "normal" person.

Sorry you had a crap week at work. Seems like you've been there a while. You must be doing something right.



DesertWoman
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21 Apr 2021, 5:22 pm

It's so hard out there. I've had the same problems. I've disclosed to some employers and not to others. And when I did disclose, I was met with such ignorance and backlash. The world doesn't really understand autism fully, or know what to do with autistic people.

The neurotypical thing to do is to find another job if you're not happy. People move from job to job all the time. Problem is, autistic people like routine, so it might be tough for you. But I've learned that you have to push yourself. It's what adults do!

If your boss is really worldly and intelligent, you could strategically bring up autism, but then you need to explain how that affects you at work.

It sounds like you're overwhelmed at work, and that could happen to anyone. Don't be too hard on yourself. If you pick yourself up and move on, other people will notice that. People are too busy with their own problems, believe it or not. It's not always about you! :D