Page 4 of 5 [ 68 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next

JustFoundHere
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 13 Jan 2018
Age: 60
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,140
Location: California

19 Apr 2021, 12:12 pm

JustFoundHere wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
JustFoundHere wrote:
The title of this discussion thread can also be 'To NT-like HFAs' - that is new WP membership of 'NT-like' members is encouraged!

Has anybody shared WP with relatives on the Autism Spectrum? - I sense that the original post (ABOVE) is a good orientation to WP.

The whole gambit of the Autism Spectrum; from classic Autism to High Functioning Autism (HFA) is hereditary in families.


Again I don't want to be the only rep for NTs on WP but from what I've seen NTs with families are generally busy people. Raising an autistic child is time consuming and many NTs on the parent threads have more than one kid, an extended family, busy social lives etc. So even if you got them to post here they would only appear once in a blue moon.

NTs who work with autistic people and whom are advocates are also busy. The few I've met tend to be dynamic and prosocial but they are face-to face not online orientated. I've seen maybe 1-2 post on WP and they hang around for a week and then go back to social media which is what all NTs are addicted to these days.

Like Jono I'm a little different in that I'm introverted and always preferred not having lots of close friends. Infact since getting married and having my daughter both my wife and I have not socialised much at all and I can safetly say I personally have no friends (although have hundreds of acquaintances). This is why I can spend so much time on WP. Are there other NTs like me? (sure there are). But If they have a predilection for online surfing then (yes) its social media not discussion boards. I'm old fashioned and (as I mentioned before) have a predilection for this type of out dated discussion platform.


I had placed a LINK to this discussion thread in the 'In Depth Adult Life' Forum - again, adults with HFA are terribly under-represented, and even misrepresented!

Again the purpose of this discussion thread is to boost proactive, and proven action-plans to help adults with HFA
- examples involving AS, HFA, NTs and NT-like dynamics.

Ironically, too much awareness of the Autism Spectrum can often yield unfavorable outcomes - yes, you read this correctly!

Too much awareness of the Autism Spectrum from immediate family, and even thoughtful relatives, friends, advisors, etc. is living proof that family dynamics alone become increasingly inappropriate (and possibly harmful) for adults with HFA - it is what it is! -It's best to call-out these overlooked family concerns /dynamics concerns in writing!

From my own experiences, I've "talked myself blue" "spinning my wheels" reminding my family of the following (three of many examples):

* "Sometimes parents can do the wrong things for the right reasons!"

* "Never let our emotions get in the way (of that good solid awareness)" - or "unguided concerns can become a...well, self fulfilling prophecy!"

* And even, "haste makes waste!"

* And Oh Yes, lots of correcting of facts, information, plain-old misunderstandings, etc. etc.

Basically, my family is very informed about HFA - yet, sometimes, I'm left bewildered, and asking...."WHAT???"

Once again, it's best to follow-through with actual, concrete experiences proven helpful for adults with HFA -hence the purpose of this discussion thread!

GOT IT??

LINK: viewtopic.php?f=32&t=394888&p=8764837#p8764837


UPDATED: Here is a (LINK- clarified from LINK in previous post) of a discussion thread in the WP forum 'In Depth Adult-Life' 'Anybody Familiar With The Term "A Private Person?"' As of this writing, there are 9 posts in this discussion thread: viewtopic.php?t=394888



Jon81
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

Joined: 4 Jul 2018
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 168
Location: Sweden

19 Apr 2021, 2:21 pm

cyberdad wrote:

Hey Jono! how are you going :D


All well. Trying to do my best being NT on here :ninja: :lol:


_________________
Din Aspie poäng: 102 av 200
Din neurotypiska (icke-autistiska) poäng: 108 av 200
Du verkar ha både Aspie och neurotypiska drag
Diagnosed with ADHD 2022


cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,149

20 Apr 2021, 3:59 am

JustFoundHere wrote:
* "Sometimes parents can do the wrong things for the right reasons!"


This is a really valid point, and a good reason for NT parents to spend time on WP to educate themselves.



cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,149

20 Apr 2021, 3:59 am

Jon81 wrote:
cyberdad wrote:

Hey Jono! how are you going :D


All well. Trying to do my best being NT on here :ninja: :lol:


Good stuff :lol:



JustFoundHere
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 13 Jan 2018
Age: 60
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,140
Location: California

20 Apr 2021, 1:48 pm

This discussion thread is very much like living proof what happens when one attempts to put words to the unwritten rules of friendships, social skills, AS/NT roles, and even family dynamics involving the Autism Spectrum! "Quite the challenge here on WP!"

It might be best to continue this discussion thread with not too difficult experiences to put to words. Again... actual, concrete experiences beneficial in boosting AS/NT, or AS/NT-like friendships!

OKAY??



cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,149

20 Apr 2021, 5:08 pm

JustFoundHere wrote:
Again... actual, concrete experiences beneficial in boosting AS/NT, or AS/NT-like friendships!

OKAY??


No arguments from me....but there's like 10,000 members who read this thread and notice how many post questions here....maybe it "aint" the NTs you should be communicating this to.



JustFoundHere
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 13 Jan 2018
Age: 60
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,140
Location: California

20 Apr 2021, 6:36 pm

cyberdad wrote:
JustFoundHere wrote:
Again... actual, concrete experiences beneficial in boosting AS/NT, or AS/NT-like friendships!

OKAY??


No arguments from me....but there's like 10,000 members who read this thread and notice how many post questions here....maybe it "aint" the NTs you should be communicating this to.


** To reassess this discussion thread: I've been communicating to an audience experienced with an ample range of AS/NT (or again to AS/NT-like) friendships - all while encouraging new WP membership - hence, boosting a much needed diversity here on WP.

Doing basic statistical calculations: (as of this writing, this discussion thread has had 1125 views/reads with 54 responses - since being posted 26 days ago - only a fraction of the WP membership has read OR posted to this disc. thread.

In short, that's around two posts, and about 45 reads/views per day - a reasonably robust thread; ripe for that greater diversity when all is said and done!

Can it be said that a WP disc. devoted to AS/NT (or AS/NT-like) friendships developing a reasonably robust following withing one-month is an improvement - towards greater understanding of AS, NT, HFA dynamics??



cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,149

21 Apr 2021, 2:23 am

Yep I was using NT language which is to exaggerate statistics in a hyperbolic way as clickbait to get more people to engage with this thread.

But yes you are right, as threads on WP go this is reasonably robust even if its just going to be a conversation between me and you.



Caz72
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Feb 2013
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,394
Location: England

21 Apr 2021, 4:00 am

I dont go on parents discussion any more cos i just got called a bad parent there and it hurt so bad that i gave my son back to his father


_________________
Have diagnosis of autism.
Have a neurotypical son.


cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,149

21 Apr 2021, 4:12 am

Caz72 wrote:
I dont go on parents discussion any more cos i just got called a bad parent there and it hurt so bad that i gave my son back to his father


There's 1-2 nutters in the parent forum who are on the spectrum who are little judgey. I wouldn't take them seriously.



Caz72
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Feb 2013
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,394
Location: England

21 Apr 2021, 4:24 am

cyberdad wrote:
Caz72 wrote:
I dont go on parents discussion any more cos i just got called a bad parent there and it hurt so bad that i gave my son back to his father


There's 1-2 nutters in the parent forum who are on the spectrum who are little judgey. I wouldn't take them seriously.


yea but newcomers might not understand tht and if theres nt parents asking for help or advice and all they get is someone telling them there bad parents in the most upsetting way then its not going to look good is it


_________________
Have diagnosis of autism.
Have a neurotypical son.


cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,149

21 Apr 2021, 4:56 am

Caz72 wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Caz72 wrote:
I dont go on parents discussion any more cos i just got called a bad parent there and it hurt so bad that i gave my son back to his father


There's 1-2 nutters in the parent forum who are on the spectrum who are little judgey. I wouldn't take them seriously.


yea but newcomers might not understand tht and if theres nt parents asking for help or advice and all they get is someone telling them there bad parents in the most upsetting way then its not going to look good is it


We avoided parenting classes for that reason. It's human nature for parents to compare their child with other children and they can come across awfully judgemental. So I kind of expect that for parent forums as well.



Caz72
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Feb 2013
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,394
Location: England

21 Apr 2021, 5:09 am

cyberdad wrote:
Caz72 wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Caz72 wrote:
I dont go on parents discussion any more cos i just got called a bad parent there and it hurt so bad that i gave my son back to his father


There's 1-2 nutters in the parent forum who are on the spectrum who are little judgey. I wouldn't take them seriously.


yea but newcomers might not understand tht and if theres nt parents asking for help or advice and all they get is someone telling them there bad parents in the most upsetting way then its not going to look good is it


We avoided parenting classes for that reason. It's human nature for parents to compare their child with other children and they can come across awfully judgemental. So I kind of expect that for parent forums as well.


one or two members here who had bad upbringing or bad relationship with their parents usually hang around the parents discussion and judge other parents on how there raising their kids even though they arent parents themselves
they got personal with me and said i should leave my 14 y/o kid to his own devices and let him play out all night with his friends
the thread is here and is full of resentment against me from one particular member

viewtopic.php?t=380893&start=32


_________________
Have diagnosis of autism.
Have a neurotypical son.


Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

21 Apr 2021, 12:52 pm

My parents have been badmouthed here before and it hurt. My parents have always provided me stability and love, and have brought me up to have respect. So when people here say that they're abusive because they compared me to other people's children it kind of hurts. I don't say much about my mum here any more because she is now ill with cancer and I'm scared someone might say something really insensitive about it, so insensitive that I can't even say it myself but hopefully you guys will know what I mean. If anyone said something so insensitive here then I will hate that person and make sure he or she knows it. Nobody badmouths my mum, I love her with all my heart and she's the best mum I could ever have, OK?

I wish I could find the particular thread where my parents were being badmouthed. If I could then I'd ask the mods to delete it.


_________________
Female


kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

21 Apr 2021, 12:55 pm

I don't see any reason why anybody would badmouth your parents.

I certainly wouldn't. Especially because I have no knowledge of your dad, and little knowledge of your mother (i.e., that you care about her very much, but little else).

It just wouldn't make any sense for anybody to badmouth them.



Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

21 Apr 2021, 1:02 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I don't see any reason why anybody would badmouth your parents.

I certainly wouldn't. Especially because I have no knowledge of your dad, and little knowledge of your mother (i.e., that you care about her very much, but little else).

It just wouldn't make any sense for anybody to badmouth them.


I know you wouldn't.
It started on a thread I created about getting into a physical fight with my mother during one of my outbursts. Nobody got hurt, as I'm not violent, it was just one of those typical mother-daughter fights that usually occur when a daughter has a really close relationship with their mother. It doesn't make the mother a bad parent. But some of the people here were trying to convince me that she was a bad parent.
I agree with Caz72, the parents discussion seems to be have angry people lurking who had/have bad or unhealthy relationships with their parents. They're not really the right people to give advice or judge other people's parenting, sad to say.


_________________
Female