Do You Think Dating Would Be Easier If You Were Neurotypical

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Excellent points. When it comes to dating its important to have realistic expectations.

LOL! I'm a 5foot10 NT and was pretty ok in the looks department back in my 20s (the highest praise I received was being compared to George Clooney).

I lost three times to men shorter than me vying for the attention of a girl. Also read Kraftie's posts he's also short but had relative success with dating women.

What's their secret you ask? I put it down to self-confidence. You need to be in a positive frame of mind and be self-confident to attract a girl's attention. Then once you have their attention then sell yourself to them that your a pleasant person worth being friends with.

While height is an obstacle (like weight) it's not insurmountable. You may also have to adjust your expectations and compromise your own standards. A 5foot3 bloke aiming for a 5foot11 supermodel might be punching above your weight so you might want to aim for an average looking girl who is also closer to your height or perhaps shorter,.

I think it might be easier to meet people if I wasn't ND, simply because I prefer spending most of my time alone. That's a key part of my autism. I don't have an interest in going to social gatherings to meet people, but of course some NT people are introverted and don't like that either. I can't really generalise what it would be like to be NT, but it seems most NT are more socially-inclined and interested in meeting people.

Being in a dating relationship is hard for me because of my need for time alone, my alexithymia, and Sensory Processing Disorder. Sensory issues present quite a problem and require a lot of negotiation. I don't want to seem high-maintenance when I'm with a partner, but I'm hypersensitive to hundreds of stimuli. It's really frustrating, and can cause me significant anxiety if the other person is impatient or intolerant. Same with making eye contact, which seems to be expected from most romantic partners.

I'm lucky I met a great person who has been very accommodating but I still feel self-conscious when new sensitivities pop up. It's also a bit embarrassing to stim and be myself in front of a person until I'm extremely, extremely comfortable with them.

This is a fair point. I make a lot of assumptions from having an male NT brain and I can't expect that most male WP members would be able walk in my shoes in a social environment.

However, quite clearly many autistic people (male and female) do succeed socially and I wish they would share their experiences more (even I would like to pick up tips for my 15 yr old daughter on how to socialise with boys her age).

I read the OP's question in two ways:

1) Would it be easier to meet a prospective partner?
and
2) Would it be easier to sustain a relationship with a person, once you start dating?

In considering the social challenges of Autism, there are also two main distinctions:

- Is the problem that you don't like meeting people / don't want to meet people at all?
or
- Is the problem that you like meeting people, but you lack the social skills necessary to attract them or sustain a relationship?

Many people certainly do succeed. I hope your daughter can find a good role model to help her navigate dating.

This sounds like my daughter. She shares my propensity to like meeting people (she's extremely friendly) but lacks the social skills/language skills to get a conversation going. Yet she sometimes surprises me.

At school her friends are (ironically) male and one fellow in particular is the apple of her eye. He's a school sports captain and I think he and his friends include my daughter in their lunchtime/recess freetime because she's also into sport/cars (she is very sporty and does track and field). But outside of school they have their own lives. The NT girls at my daughter's school are at an age where they are bitchy and judgey and my daughter sensibly keeps away from them. She has had problems with bullying and fortunately the boys she hangs around with defend her.

I've told her that she needs to develop her social skills more before she thinks about dating a boy as she's really innocent and I am dreadfully worried somebody is going to take advantage of her.