Easter Day, today is a very sad day for me!

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Danusaurus
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03 Apr 2021, 6:44 pm

So today is a very sad day for me. It's Easter Day and I am alone and have no one.
I am in misery, isolated from my family.. more like disowned.
Everyone that likes me only does so by default.. they have to appear to like me.
People say and have over the last few years call me horrible things, I'm garbage, disgusting and have nothing to offer anyone and nobody seems to care. I feel like I just cause unintentional trouble everywhere I go. I am hated by everyone except my mom and am disowned by everyone.. it's been a debilitating few years and has prevented me from getting help and the support that I so desperately want. I would love to just say happy Easter to everyone and I hope you don't feel lonely as I do. Today suicide is very touch and go.. I just want to be loved, cared about, respected and to have everyone who has an opinion about me know that I have nothing but the MOST! Love care and respect for everyone, man, women, child and animals.. I have a great soul and struggle to understand why I am so disliked. I miss my family, I cannot have contact with my children and seeing kids on tv etc is fkn heartbreaking.. I have reached a point far far beyond depression and misery.. I am lonely, I am alone. I never intended to hurt a soul if ever I have despite my poor choices and inability to understand what others want or needed and to find solutions to things, interpersonal relationships and so on when I had the chance.. I figured I totally think today seems logical to make a decent attempt to end my life. I'm hated and disowned.. to my family (irrelevant on WP) I love you very much and I am so very sorry for the way that I am, the person I'm projected as, the person I have become.


Love Dani.



Blue_Blake
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03 Apr 2021, 7:28 pm

Hey, please hang in there. You can always turn things around. Happy Easter, I'm sure everyone here is willing to talk to you, you can PM me if you want, just take everything easy, things like this take time and it's a different process for everyone..hold on to your strengths and remember them, and please reach out to anyone if you can. :heart:



kraftiekortie
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03 Apr 2021, 7:43 pm

I’m sorry you’re feeling this way, Sir.

Will your mother and wish her a Happy Easter?



IsabellaLinton
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03 Apr 2021, 7:54 pm

Happy Easter Dani :(

You belong with us. You're safe here, and we value your posts. I'm so sorry you've dealt with such adversity. Life isn't fair sometimes. Sometimes it tries to take out the best of us. I hear your pain and I'm thankful you are reaching out.

Holidays can be very disabling for people who've experienced trauma.

Please take one breath at a time, and one moment at a time.

Please write again, when you feel able.

Hugs from Issy and my daughter MD.



Danusaurus
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03 Apr 2021, 8:25 pm

Thanks everyone for your love and support..

WP.. is my only outlet, you are all my friends, I know people understand me here.. NTs and most psychologist even.. don't understand us, we are all slightly different to eachother.. hugs for y'all..
I don't know why life has made me feel crippled,name called and useless.. intentionally, yet I'm bad for wanting to learn about "myself" who I am.. why I'm different etc.. :( Thanks your kind words really help and resonates with my heart,! !



MrsPeel
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03 Apr 2021, 10:10 pm

:(
Hang in there.



Earthbound_Alien
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04 Apr 2021, 4:45 am

Please don't feel that way.

I don't celebrate easter as I see it as a commercial holiday...its designed to the make the system money.

People should celebrate being together at all times of the year.

The world out there can be creul sometimes and I am sure you are very likeable...



Earthbound_Alien
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04 Apr 2021, 4:46 am

Danusaurus wrote:
Thanks everyone for your love and support..

WP.. is my only outlet, you are all my friends, I know people understand me here.. NTs and most psychologist even.. don't understand us, we are all slightly different to eachother.. hugs for y'all..
I don't know why life has made me feel crippled,name called and useless.. intentionally, yet I'm bad for wanting to learn about "myself" who I am.. why I'm different etc.. :( Thanks your kind words really help and resonates with my heart,! !


You are not bad...we are all trying to figure things out.



Juliette
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04 Apr 2021, 5:04 am

You have friends here, Dani. Of that, be sure. X



Mountain Goat
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04 Apr 2021, 5:58 am

Happy Easter Danni. All is ok.



BeaArthur
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04 Apr 2021, 11:29 am

I'm sorry you are having a rough time today. Holidays are hard for many people. Do you have any seasonal depression? As it is spring here, I recognize it is fall where you are. Hang in there.


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jimmy m
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04 Apr 2021, 3:47 pm

Happy Easter Dani


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04 Apr 2021, 4:54 pm

Dear Dani,
reading your letter, I could have written whole paragraphs of it.
Not one phone call today, no one to wish ‘Happy Easter’ to.
Doing a lot of cleaning just to keep busy.
Intended to go to church especially because it’s Easter, but I didn’t.
I feel lonelier during and after church than
usual.
I don’t know anyone and am hopeless at socializing; can NOT introduce myself and start a conversation.
I never married, and usually think of the single life as lonely, but I’ve gotten insight from your post.
Having been married and lost the love of those you thought were going to be beside you for the rest of your life must be SO painful.
You have really opened my eyes.
Please know that there are those of us at WP who have read your post and do understand your feelings; please know that you have friends who care.
You are not alone in being alone.


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Summer_Twilight
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05 Apr 2021, 8:35 am

Hi:
I read your post and I can honestly understand where you are coming from. My family members don't respect me as a person either. In fact, they bring out the worst in me.

Anyway, there was a time where I lived three miles from an aunt and uncle who ostracized me completely because of silly stigmas. even on Easter. I happened to run into my aunt and my cousin at their church during Easter in 2003. Though I tried to say hi, my aunt gave me a phony "Hi." Then later, she and my cousin left church early and stopped right in front of me, jerked her purse over her shoulder next to giving me a very cold body gesture. I cried so hard hard.

Basically they didn't want me being around my cousins because they believed I was dangerous because they saw me having a few outbursts.

Regarding your family members treating you like that, it's nothing wrong with you, it's what's wrong with them. Anyone who treats you like that is toxic. If they treated you poorly then you can imagine they do it to others.

Maybe when COVID ends, perhaps find a group for other singles who are having Easter? Maybe you create your own autism support group?