Casual sex was dying out before the pandemic

Post Reply New Topic

Oh yes, it's just that before, Aspie1 said that feminism made things worse for average guys, but I don't see how since I thought that average looking feminist women, would want to hook up with average looking guys therefore, or so I thought.

Lots of people sound confident and will say things in a way that sounds like they've got things figured out. Critical thinking sees through the bluster.

The way you ask questions that sometimes sound really simple but often involve a fair bit of thought before they can be answered concisely is good at forcing people to reconsider their position because as much as sometimes the question seems over-simple when there's a lot to unpack, as you're unpacking it for yourself it forces you to re-examine it.

Even if the final response is a criticism of the framing or whatever, to get to that answer involves rethinking why the position is held. I also appreciate the curiosity since so many people want to tell their opinion (myself included) so someone who's mostly interested in drawing others opinions out is a nice change.

Oh okay, thanks, you mean me?

But let's say Aspie1 is correct in that feminism has made things worse for average guys because women do not go for them as much anymore, because of feminism. Is this why a lot of guys hate feminism because it has caused women to be pickier about who they hook up with, even if they are more hook up hungry now for that pickier guy thank before, when things were not as feminist?

Not everyone searching for a relationship is playing the hook-up game so if they're complaining that fewer people settle for them in hook-up situations that doesn't doom their relationship chances, it just makes it a little bit harder for them in one limited context.

And yes, I mean you. They can be frustrating for a moment but overall I appreciate the approach because it forces thoughtfulness instead of bickering. Being challenged in a way that makes one consider their views is much better than the tendency towards trying to own people who disagree that seems common these days.

Oh okay, sorry if I was coming off as frusterating, or I did not intend to, but thanks. But is this one of the reasons why a lot of guys seem to have a problem with feminism, because they feel women are for better looking guys as it was suggested as a result of it, or no?

If I'm frustrated by a difficult question is that my problem or yours?
I'm pretty lazy, so being frustrated by having to explain my position well isn't something I'd ever expect someone to be sorry for, it just means I'm content to coast and not always put in that work. Ultimately the problem stems from me being lazy.

Here's my 2-part take on the feminism issue:

Mainstream feminism:

Ostensibly as a consequence of feminism, men are no longer (in theory) able to obtain sex by taking advantage of a power imbalance or "male privilege". Men with many sexual conquests such as Harvey Weinstein or US Presidents Bill Clinton and John Kennedy are now reviled as, essentially, rapists. The situation portrayed in the song "Baby It's Cold Outside" is now perceived as a rape situation. The 18-year-old welder/exotic dancer in Flashdance who had sex with her boss? Forget about it! Last Tango in Paris? Don't even ask! One possible consequence is that being physically attractive matters more for a man who wants sex than pre-feminism, when less attractive men could compensate with wealth and power. In addition, women are "empowered" to refuse sex, even with their husbands, if they don't happen to want it in a given situation.

Radical feminism:

Some expressions of radical feminism seem to uphold a preference for same-sex relationships as superior to heterosexual relations which suggests that an "empowered" woman might choose a female partner even though she might have otherwise chosen a male partner. Sorry that's the best way I can express that and I have no idea if there's any basis in reality. Furthermore, radical feminism tends to reject "traditional" expressions of femininity which include a woman presenting herself as sexually available by how she dresses and behaves around men, causing increased confusion for men who found women confusing to begin with.

I hope this helps!

Oh okay, but I thought there was another kind of feminism where women are wanting sex more, because they don't feel they should have shame in casual sex and are more rebellious about. A more sexually rebellious feminism that I thought a lot of guys would like, and it seems to have grown in the past couple of years, perhaps with covid being a contributing factor.

That's how I remember the 70s but I guess your point about guys liking that situation gave some feminists second thoughts. Plus the advent of slut shaming.

Oh but why would guys liking casual sex, give women second thoughts? If women want casual sex, then wouldn't they want the guys to like it to?

As for slut shaming, well guys like me who like sex every so often, don't do that, so I thought women who are interested in hooking up would just go for guys like me then, and avoid the slut shamers?

I think it may be women who slut shame other women.....

Are they jealous of other women when they do that?

Maybe.

I assumed the whole anti-slut shaming thing was targeted towards males with double standards.. guys are studs for getting laid, women are sluts for participating kind of thing.

But I dunno for sure tbh. I keep my slutting to the gay community.