Do we lack empathy or is it just different than NTs?

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Just because some lack empathy it doesn’t mean we all do?

That's what I've said in this thread several times. But when discussing empathy some people here just think of cognitive empathy and forget emotional empathy.

I see a lot of (emotional) empathy on WP.

For me... I'm very good at telling what people are feeling, but clueless as to why sometimes...

You might notice doing something for someone, like giving them money seems to make them happy... But the real reason why they appear happy is because they are thinking "fool!" And are happy because they conned you!

Ironically, I've been called an "Empath" because I'm good at telling what people are feeling, I care but sometimes don't understand why...

Plus autism is a spectrum... The person who diagnosed me a little over a year ago I'm more "extroverted and friendly" than many on the spectrum... But I have at the same time some traits so obvious that he was fairly confident...

Anyway combined with my comorbid Bipolar 1 Disorder, and my doc thinks I have ADHD characteristics too, I'm highly emotionally unstable...

Not to sound pretentious, this is the definition of empathy I found:

merriam-webster com/dictionary/empathy [No hl since anti-spam policy prevents it]

the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner


Before current year, I did indeed feel bad for people and didn't want to hurt them. And I could share my feelings and even receive them. But according to that definition, I could not feel empathy since it by definition requires one to feel them without full communication in explicit manner.

When in conflict, go with the dictionary definition.

Conflict ensues when people make up their own definitions and believe them to be correct when they are not.

An NT today was wondering why a lot of shows were cancelled today because of the tributes to the death of Prince Philip, and she was like, "I don't know why they need to put that on all day for, I don't even like the royals, I don't even care." So I had to say, "well, whether you care or not, it will naturally be a big deal for a member of the royal family to die in the UK, and it would be peculiar if they didn't make a big deal about it." I never knew much about Prince Philip but I did understand why they would cancel other shows to put on repetitive tributes to him, whether it affects me or not. And it was sad for the royals, so I do feel and show some care.

NA have empathy as NT do … or do not.
It really depends on several parameters, but, theoretically, NA without intellectual disabilities do not have particular problems with affective empathy.
The only thing that can be said for sure, given the current state of knowledge, is that NA may have impaired cognitive empathy when NT don’t.

We can be anything we choose to learn. From my experience, it's the NT that commonly lacks basic empathy via repression due to fear of social rejection/"looking weak".

From my own perspective, I know that I exhibit empathy but because I lack social skills, thus having a hard time initiating conversation, I tend to come across as a robot to strangers. In my head, I'm thinking deeply about that person and what their life must be like, feeling for them. On the outside, because I'm so socially withdrawn, that obviously doesn't come across.

We don't lack empathy; rather, we show in an unorthodoxical manner that's all