Doomed to be lonely forever?

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I often fear I am doomed to be lonely forever. I don’t have a girlfriend, my conversations even with friends fizzle out, I am ignored when I go out in public unless someone wants to prey on me for money or to make me give them a ride in my car, I no longer see my cousins, I don’t even have lasting conversations on social media, Meet Up events are unproductive for me, and my friendship network shrinks with every passing year. I am 32 years old but my social skills are still at a novice level and my attempts to get better at them have been unsuccessful.

I sometimes wish there was a pill I could take that would dull my feelings of loneliness so I wouldn’t even blink when I hear someone at work joyfully telling the workspace that he or she is attending a party or some other type of social event or if I see a couple walking around and smiling to each other. It would make my life so much easier. I wouldn’t feel the pain of missing out anymore.

Did you contact Heart of Central Texas Independent Living yet? https://hoctilc.org/

Brother Marknis, what are some examples of things your abusive mom has said to you that keeps your sense of self esteem at the lowest levels possible?

Sadly, Marknis has already told the forum some of the things his mom has said. While it may be useful for him to examine this content once or twice, repeating it each time a curious forum visitor asks is probably NOT useful.

I remember her once telling my siblings while I was in earshot that “Mark will never be self-sufficient.” but she claims she said never fully self-sufficient and that I misheard. My mind took it as the former but it’s possible I have auditory processing issues. It still hurt to hear, though.

I need to stop giving lip service and truly go on a hiatus. I’ll stay around today to see if anyone will wish me well.

You're definitely not the only one who's been there, I'm only 'self sufficient' as a result of realizing that being as such is easier for me despite the insane amounts of work it requires - working as much as I can & maintaining a rental house until I can buy something nice. Not that I have much to spend at this level anyway, a big chunk is about to go towards investing. I'll be putting my new desk & PC together all week. The pace of what I'm doing is legitimately scary but knowing the kind of discrimination I've seen before makes it seem like the only option for me.

I'm only really 'self sufficient' because of several good friends anyway. The whole Americanized notion of independence is creepy to me.

Hi Marknis. Hiatuses are good. I wish you well. I might not be here when you return, but other people will be.

Brother Marknis, one thing you can do during your break from Wrong Planet is to contact VR Services. VR could be a great starting point for you to get a better life for yourself and to break free from your abusive mom.

I also wish you well.

If you decide to contact VR Services, be forewarned that offices are in Austin. If you do decide to contact VR, do it very carefully behind your abusive mom's back.

You have taken enough abuse from her.

Looking forward to your return!

Brother AA

i Think Alot of Communication has Fizzed Off For alot of People . due To No Definate Sign of Free Socialising (like it was pre Covid) .. so in alot of People's Cases .. they Simlly Don't Seek External Interaction Like The Past . I by Chance Crossed My Longest Best Friend Today . we Haven't Text Much During Covid , and Usually Only Have Contact Building Upto Social Meetings / Events . its Just How it Works in That Particular Scenario . Nothing Changes . But Our Friendship Doesn't Affect From it .

I Do Feel Similar To You Though . i Think f**k This s**t .. Alot ! . A Significant Other Feels Light Years Away . So I Don't Even Consider it Anymore .

As For Your Mum , Don't Sweat it . The Key is Accepting Current Reality . We All Have Blind Spots in Our Abilities . Focus on Your Strengths . There is No Manual For Life . Everybody is Different . We Just Gotta Respect The Cards We Were Dealt . With The Asperation of Playing Them Cards To The Best Combination We Possibly Can