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Earthbound_Alien
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09 Apr 2021, 8:16 am

Don't you think it would be nice if egoism did not exist?
To live in a world where we can just get on with life without being expected to endlessly pontificate our worth or to hate ourselves if we don't live up to social expectations?
To be able to accept ourselves if we are poor, disabled, black, white etc.

Where I am living people in general seem to be obsessed with ego and status.

I can't stand it because it takes away from other experiences in life, or rather just the experience of being alive.

It's the same with social stuff...I am an extreme introvert. If the world just accepted that I would have fewer social problems. Unfortunately, as things stand people personalise things too much.

If I am too quiet...they think i am being unfriendly or that I don't like them which may not be the case, I may just have nothing to say. I may be tired and may need to be quiet. I may not be interested in the subject being discussed and may be waiting for the subject to change to something I can speak up about.

Expectations as a woman...I find I am expected to be emotionally expressive but I am not really that way inclined due to bad experiences in childhood. My emotional expression was often inappropriate even at a very young age (ie i would just walk up to people and kiss them as a way of saying I liked them, if I were to do this as an adult people would get the wrong impression). I had measured developmental differences as a young one and was tested to be behind my peerrs in several areas, one of them being emotional maturity. I was tested as emotionally immature. I don't have the emotional development of an adult and can't cope with the complexities of adult relationships. I am expected to hate myself for this.

I don't understand self hatred and this trend of beating yourself up at all. I don't understand why a person can't just make a mistake and move on or why we have to be perfect and why we can't just enjoy life even if we are not perfect. I don't understand why i have to care about social status or success and why I can't just spend time with people whom I enjoy the company of...why does it have to be about worth? Why would someone have to be worthy of me?

I don't undestand the need for emotional support for certain things either. Ie I can't eat gluten so people will often awefulise that by saying 'it must be aweful for you'. I appreciate they mean well but I don't think it's that terrible really. I don't mind, I'll eat something else then. But they seem to want me to get upset and I don't understand why they would want me to be upset and find my gluten free diet so horrible? Why do they want me to be upset?

In another way i love healthy food/eating (fruits, veggies, meat, fish, etc) but even this is brought back to ego, people can think I seem to do it to feel worthy. No I just like the taste of the food and it helps my digestive issues.

I was once with someone whom ate some salmon and then said 'I feel worthy now'. I do not understand this...its salmon. I was thinking 'that was a nice piece of fish, i should get some more of that next time I am near the fish monger'. I get that society attatches meanings to things that are not really there beyond the cultural beliefs of our civilisation but it is strange and not a great motivation for eating healthy food.

I am only expected to eat healthfully to prove my worth to others?

Outside of our cultural beliefs salmon is really just a fish that swims in rivers and the oceans and is edible and makes a really rather nice bit of fish for tea. It is also very nutritious.

I am a bit food obsessed. Once upon a time when I was very young a dr said to me 'what do you look forward too most' and i replied with 'my dinner'. He said 'we need to get you looking forward to bigger things' (I was thinking you have not seen the size of my tea...lol. I am joking about the size of food plate as I can't remember what I was actually thinking at the time but it certainly applies these days!).

But why do I have to look forward to much more in life? Egoism?

I think egoism is a form of human madness and I think the world has gotten to caught up in it.



Fnord
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09 Apr 2021, 9:01 am

Ironic ... a post against egoism that is really just one person's long, rambling, subjective opinion.


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Earthbound_Alien
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09 Apr 2021, 9:13 am

Fnord wrote:
Ironic ... a post against egoism that is really just one person's long, rambling, subjective opinion.


Opinion has nothing to do with ego and I am against the harm that egoism causes and the mental and emotional damage it is doing to the human psyche.

Opinion is opinion and there are many of them in the world ego on the others hand is puff puff I am better than you.

My opinion is gentle and comes from a compassionate playful place.

You don't have to agree with me but if you like mentally torturing people by trying to make them feel less than you, so you can feel better about yourself, carry on.



sorrowfairiewhisper
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09 Apr 2021, 9:20 am

Those that need to use there ego the most as a weapon are the ones that are secretly most insecure! It’s a defensive mechanism some are more in there ego than others. It exist and we all have ego it’s how we choose to use it



Fnord
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09 Apr 2021, 9:22 am

Earthbound_Alien wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Ironic ... a post against egoism that is really just one person's long, rambling, subjective opinion.
Opinion has nothing to do with ego ...
:roll:


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09 Apr 2021, 9:41 am

Opinion has a lot to do with ego.



Earthbound_Alien
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10 Apr 2021, 1:17 am

Fnord wrote:
Earthbound_Alien wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Ironic ... a post against egoism that is really just one person's long, rambling, subjective opinion.
Opinion has nothing to do with ego ...
:roll:


An opinion is just a line of thought, or reasoning, not who you are.



Earthbound_Alien
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10 Apr 2021, 1:19 am

Not all of us are arrogant about our opinions but we like to discuss them and we like rational and reasonable feedback from others. We like to consider different perspectives in that way.

I do find egoism strange, i have no inner concept of needing to be worthy or needing the approval of others to like myself, or to govern what I eat, or what I wear, or how i choose to live etc.

I don't choose my friendships when I have them on worthiness, i base them on whether i enjoy the company of the person I am with.

I would never want a friend to worry about whether or not they were worthy of me, they don't need to be.

Nor would i ever see any living soul as worthless.

Humans are so competitive they will destroy each other over it. They commit murder over it, they abuse each other over it, they war over it so on and so forth.

The belief system is creul and psychologically derranged, especially when it goes out of balance, and in our world today it is.



Earthbound_Alien
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10 Apr 2021, 1:26 am

Checkbox wrote:
Opinion has a lot to do with ego.


I fail to see how..so if i have an opinion about tomatoes, does that make me egotistical if we disagree?

A person can have an opinion and not be egotisitcal over it. An opinion is a line of thought. Ego is a belief about yourself.

What if a person has a thought about something but attaches no belief about self to it?



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Deinonychus
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10 Apr 2021, 1:44 am

Your reasoning is fallacious: food tastes are not opinions because liking tomatoes or not does not imply any reasoning.

An opinion is a way of thinking about a subject or a set of subjects, a personal judgment that one makes about a question, which does not imply that this judgment is necessarily right.

Ego is a belief about yourself.
Writting « I am » is a belief about yourself.
I'll let you count the amount of "I am" in your first post.
We all have ego.



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10 Apr 2021, 8:25 am

I enjoy diversity. Sometimes it's a pain, yeah, but without pain there's no pleasure.. I know you've probably heard it a thousand times.. I sure have.. But I guess the world of ASD is by nature pretty repetitive, because we always go in circles with our thoughts..

I get so frustrated overthinking things and expecting different results, but ultimately I have to remind myself that just because I don't like the answer, doesn't mean it's going to change if I think about it some more.. I'm just going to give myself a headache and piss myself off..

Lol.

Meditation and weed are great for getting over things like that, AND ego. :P