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Angnix
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Location: Michigan

13 Apr 2021, 1:35 pm

I got excited when I had several people suggest looking for Federal Employment, especially since I found a position to apply to that can hire through Schedule A, working at a Visitors Center ironically in the same exact area my last position was based at so I know the area... It even mentioned gov. housing and it's benefited with a salary...

But people are "raining on my parade" like crazy, my neighbor said "Why would you want to lose your disability?" And someone in a group pointed out that Federal Jobs are too hard to get...

I'm am so very sensitive to people doing this, and it makes me seriously doubt my judgement... I mean, I listen to people way too much... How can I get past this? Is this a common characteristic for us???


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Fnord
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13 Apr 2021, 1:42 pm

I used to get that a lot when I still lived in Michigan

I think you are a victim of what is known as the "Lobsters-In-A-Pot" syndrome.


Susan Hyatt wrote:
When lobsters get tossed into a pot of boiling water, and one brave lobster tries to climb up the walls to sweet freedom…

Do you know what the other lobsters do?

They grab their friend and claw her back into the pot of boiling death-water.

“No way are you getting outta here. You’re staying right here with us.”

I would like to think that human beings are slightly more “evolved” than bright red crustaceans, but the truth is… sometimes? We all behave like sea-bugs in a pot of boiling water.

We see a woman demanding a higher salary and say, “Who does she think she is?”

We see a woman celebrating her body and sharing bikini pics on Facebook and think, “What an attention-whore. Slut.”

We see a woman taking big, brave steps to get her business off the ground, and we’ve just GOT to knock her down a peg. “You realize that 8 out of 10 business fail in the first 18 months, right? What’s your back-up plan?”

[...]
Note: I quoted only the part that is relevant to your situation.

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timf
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14 Apr 2021, 7:52 am

There are many people who will tell you what to do (It has been said. "Everyone wants to be Hitler").

Those who care about you will often suggest things for your consideration (recognizing that in the end it is your decision). For example someone that care about your future might suggest that you look into what difficulty there might be to get back on disability if the job doesn't work out.

It can be helpful to rate those around you so that you can use a sliding scale to consider the value of their words.