The 6 Ft Tall White Guy Syndrome

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He's charismatic AF. Some people have the face of a toad and the personality of a stump, Danny DeVito is anything but a stump.

There is, but it's not everything, like I said. Why fixate on what limits you?

Why the jealousy?  There is more to being attractive than height.  There is also personality.

Danny DeVito is under 5 feet tall.

I don't like him; I find him obnoxious-----but he'd certainly get his share of girls.

I'm short. I'm slightly less than 5 foot 5, and I'm chubsy rubsy. Some women like tall men; but others don't necessarily like tall men. I've been rejected because I'm short. So what?

I have what may be called a "nerdy charisma"---which is really no charisma at all. When I was in high school, everybody was SHOCKED that I had found a girlfriend. No kidding! But I found one!

I think women like me because I listen to them, and I talk to them like I'm their friend. I don't worship the ground they walk on----though I enjoy being a gentleman and opening doors for them and all that.

You should start doing the same. Think of women as people, rather than as "women," and you'll go farther in life.

And get out of this victimhood mindset---it doesn't work. And forget those statistics----all of them.

I am 6ft 1 and something inches. No one who knows me would really call me a lady killer. I had to learn the rules of dating from books. Which I bought. Or found in the library. Learning to date is like leaning a foreign language. Anyway let us assume that all girls prefer 6foot guys who are white (why I am not sure but let us say this true for the sake of argument).
Well, these guys are in short supply and in high demand - they can't date all the girls - and are likely to go steady or get married eventually. Who does that leave? All the non-6foot guys or non-white guys. And all the girls who didn't walk out with those few lucky guys. Still quite a crowd. I really don't recall every going to a party and seeing one guy walk out with a harem.
Some of the books I bought were simply about non-verbal communication. One book was called "1001 ways to be romantic" another was called "The Cowboy's guide to Romance". There are many of them.
The hardest thing for me when I was in High School was realizing that you can actually "ask" some out on a date. How? It's in the book. There are things you can say or not say that encourage your odds of getting a yes - but not every girl asked has to say yes. Also planning a date is important. Learning what kind of things people in general like is a good idea. Finding out what one person you are actually planning on asking likes is also important.

If you're going after college-age party girls, I can guarantee you're going after the wrong ones.

I stayed FAR AWAY from "college-aged party girls," even when I was their age.......

Yeah sure, my social skills are ass.

One of my problems is that my sexual maturity developed wayyyyy before my social and emotional maturity did. Between the ages of 20 to 23, I was one horny SOB, but I didn't really have the social or emotional maturity to really talk to girls and form emotional connections with them, or know how to deal with my sexuality in a healthy way; it was all about hot girls and sex, that's all I wanted in life and that's all I ever thought about because my horny brain couldn't think about anything else. If I would have found a girlfriend during this time period, my dick would've been hard all the time.

Yeah sure, I talked to girls, but maybe i'd come on strong and i'd scare them off. Can you blame me? I didn't know what the hell I was doing. To this day, I still have no idea what the hell I'm doing and at my age (of 26) that's a red flag.

Yeah well the problem is that the majority of college girls are party girls who just want to drink and party and are shallow. Maybe I should stop pursuing college girls. The problem is that where the hell do you meet women once you're out of college.

I mean yeah sure, I could use online dating but I simply don't get enough matches to actually get a date. With online dating, it's all about how you look, and while i'm not completely ugly, i'm certainly not winning any looks contest any time soon.

Sure I could try meetups, but iv'e already done them and have gotten absolutely nowhere! My social skills are ass and in addition, most decently attractive women are already dating somebody. When 80% of girls are already taken, it can be really really hard to find someone!


Whatever hope I have is gone.

'

It's ironic that people automatically judge thousands of people they barely, if at all, met. And calling them shallow.

What's truly shallow is automatically boxing people you don't really know into stereotypes.

Now that is a much more relevant question (which I'm thoroughly unqualified to answer in any way, because I have no clue).

It might even make sense to give up hope eventually. I don't know. But if you talk about it as if it's because of height or something silly like that, it just sounds like defeatist resentment, and nothing is more unattractive than that. Improving your attitude is no guarantee that you'll achieve what you want, that's true, but keeping it as it is guarantees that you won't.

Either way, the goal of changing your attitude is to feel better about yourself. If it doesn't get you what you were looking for, well, you still get to feel better about yourself.

If you use looks to try to attract people, you're mostly going to get the attention of people who are primarily interested in looks. If you use money to try to attract people, you're mostly going to get the attention of people who are primarily interested in money. Pick-up lines primarily only work on those who are looking to be picked up. Driving a fast car gets the attention of people who are into fast cars - it does not get the attention of those who are not into fast cars, cos they're not into fast cars. The nature of the approach dictates who's attention you're likely to get. Shallow in, shallow out. There shouldn't be any grand surprise to that.

Shallow people exist, and they tend to find each other, because they're shallow, so they see eye to eye. He only cares about looks, she only cares about looks - he only cares about money, she only cares about money - he only cares about drinking and partying, she only cares about drinking and partying - one of them has money and wants companionship, the other one has companionship and wants money - it's mutually beneficial, regardless of one's opinion of the arrangement. Their needs are being satisfied.

Find people who are looking for what you have, and who have what you're looking for. But it's important to be at least somewhat consistent. If you place importance on looks, but want someone who doesn't place importance on looks, you might be out of luck - as people who care enough about their looks to actively try to look good, tend to want that same behavior in others - unless there's something else that matters to them more, like money or cars or w/e. That's why drinkers go to bars to find other drinkers - they're probably not going to meet someone who disapproves of their drinking.

Go places that have the kinds of people you want to meet. If you go to a club, you're gonna find party people. If you're not into party people, why go to a club to meet people? To meet the right people, go places where YOU actually like to be. Whatever you like to do, do that, but in public. And if you're the type of person that just wants to stay at home and be alone all the time, that's perfectly fine - but the person most like you is probably also just sitting at home alone all the time, too - so where does that get you?

As for people who get lots of dates - people who are doing a lot of getting, typically aren't doing a lot of keeping. So it depends on what you are looking for as well. Do you just want "someone" regardless of who it is, or even it's not always the same person? Does it matter who it is as long as someone is there? Or are you looking for a more specific person, with the intention of maintaining that relationship for a long duration of time. Not as a judgement, but as direction. Those are very different goals, with very different approaches.

People that aren't into looks and money and partying definitely exist in droves. They don't typically go to bars or parties, though. And you don't typically win them over with looks and money. It is an unfortunate reality, that some communities have no outlet except for drinking and partying - nothing else to do - and in those cases, those who are not into drinking and partying, typically leave for other places that have more and better opportunities for them. You go where the best opportunities are. That's true for most things.

Before you can know where to find the right kind of people, you have to know what kind of people you actually want, and be aware of all the things that go along with it.

This.

That’s not my quote!

Something tells me as a stereotypical clumsy Aspie, I'm similarly wasting my time going after women like these

I don't really know what I exactly want because I don't have enough experience with dating to actually realize what I desire. But I do have some things I DONT want in a partner.


My deal breakers:

- If you're waiting for marriage to have sex. I'm not willing to wait 2 years just to have sex with someone, plus I'm not devoutly religious anyways.

- If you're obese. I workout at least 3x a week and have competed in various powerlifting records. I'm not asking a woman to be super fit, I just don't want her to be obese because i'm simply not attracted to obesity.

- If you do drugs, maybe i'll make an exception for marijuana. Iv'e never done drugs in my life and don't want to deal with them, plus it could be a potential red flag down the road if she gets addicted.

- If you're super uptight and high strung. My sister was like that and I wouldn't want to date someone like my sister.


Those are really the only deal-breakers I can think of.