Is there really any hope for me or should I give up?

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Marknis
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19 Apr 2021, 7:54 pm

I really don’t see any hope for me in finding love. I’ve tried asking women out for coffee in person, I used to be a part of an Autism/Aspergers support group where I did have a brief relationship, I’ve made myself attend social groups even if they were against my values, I tried dating sites as well as apps, I tried calling a dating agency but was denied due to being only a part time employee, I attended two speed dating events in Austin, I’ve put up dating profiles on here as well as other forums, I’ve used chat rooms, I once tried a “fling site” out of desperation, I’ve made myself go to bars even though they stunk and only played country music, and maybe some other things I can’t recall right now. I feel like I have tried practically every avenue possible and the results have been disappointing. Is there truly any hope for me or should I just give up? Even if I give up, I don’t want to continue much longer.



goldfish21
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19 Apr 2021, 11:45 pm

Give up Looking for love? Yes. Give up On love? No.

Stop looking for love like it's something you can just find. You're only frustrating yourself. Not a fun time.

Instead, focus your time and energy on things you Do get enjoyment out of. Then at least you'll be having a fun time. ANNNND, in turn, creating the possibility that someone sees you enjoying yourself having a fun time and decides they might like to get to know you.

Focusing on one instead of the other might actually end up getting you the other one that you really want.


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threetoed snail
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20 Apr 2021, 12:11 am

^ This should be a sticky.

(Although... does anyone actually read those?..)


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Minervx_2
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20 Apr 2021, 9:19 am

I agree with what goldfish21 said. Do activities you like to do. Meet friends. Find some social circles. And you're more likely to find someone who is genuinely on the same page as you. (Compared to forcing yourself to do things you hate).

Quote:
I tried dating sites as well as apps


What are your pics, bio and message like?



The_Face_of_Boo
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20 Apr 2021, 9:56 am

Yes give up, and do what goldfish said.



SportsGamer35728
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20 Apr 2021, 10:30 am

goldfish21 wrote:
Instead, focus your time and energy on things you Do get enjoyment out of. Then at least you'll be having a fun time. ANNNND, in turn, creating the possibility that someone sees you enjoying yourself having a fun time and decides they might like to get to know you.

Unfortunately in my case, the thing I get the most enjoyment out of where I'll see other people (live sports and concerts) is currently not exactly possible right now because of the pandemic :P



Marknis
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20 Apr 2021, 7:28 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Yes give up, and do what goldfish said.


That sounds contradictory to me.



Marknis
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20 Apr 2021, 7:36 pm

Minervx_2 wrote:
What are your pics, bio and message like?


I don’t have the bios anymore. I would choose pictures of me smiling and doing activities I like. I would mention being on the shy side but willing to break out of my shell.



Muse933277
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20 Apr 2021, 8:25 pm

You should get really good at coding, with an emphasis on learning how to code in virtual reality.

Because in the future, you can help with the creation of realistic girlfriends through virtual reality. The future of porn is going to be almost realistic virtual reality girlfriends and sex. Just imagine putting on your VR headset and being transformed into a room with a hot naked woman and you get to have sex with her and it almost feels like the real thing, that's going to the future of porn.

You could be one of the first to create something like that.



cberg
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20 Apr 2021, 11:55 pm

To be fair, coding is great but it's definitely best to focus on what you like working with. I work on geospatial 3D applications for the most part and I love it, nevertheless it's far from easy, especially when the quarantine is just barely ending. I have tons of code I ought to learn & I've been a tech consultant for 10 years & a hacker almost twice as long.

I love working with really practical software. Don't let hype get to you if you're going into technology. Focus on stuff you love & put in real work.


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MidnightRose
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21 Apr 2021, 1:47 am

Muse933277 wrote:
Because in the future, you can help with the creation of realistic girlfriends through virtual reality. The future of porn is going to be almost realistic virtual reality girlfriends and sex. Just imagine putting on your VR headset and being transformed into a room with a hot naked woman and you get to have sex with her and it almost feels like the real thing, that's going to the future of porn.


Emotional fulfillment<VR waifus



enz
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21 Apr 2021, 2:21 am

If you pretend women don’t exist and make a life that makes you happy you have a lot better chance

Side note: You’ve worked hard and proved you can do it



Dog1
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21 Apr 2021, 7:08 pm

Marknis wrote:
I really don’t see any hope for me in finding love. I’ve tried asking women out for coffee in person, I used to be a part of an Autism/Aspergers support group where I did have a brief relationship, I’ve made myself attend social groups even if they were against my values, I tried dating sites as well as apps, I tried calling a dating agency but was denied due to being only a part time employee, I attended two speed dating events in Austin, I’ve put up dating profiles on here as well as other forums, I’ve used chat rooms, I once tried a “fling site” out of desperation, I’ve made myself go to bars even though they stunk and only played country music, and maybe some other things I can’t recall right now. I feel like I have tried practically every avenue possible and the results have been disappointing. Is there truly any hope for me or should I just give up? Even if I give up, I don’t want to continue much longer.


You’ve been told hundreds of times over a span of years to leave Texas - and you have been instructed that this will solve your problems, which it will.

If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you rather enjoy spinning your wheels and wallowing in self-pity, instead.

Why have you not left Texas yet?

You would be away from your toxic family and given a chance to detox.



funeralxempire
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21 Apr 2021, 7:10 pm

Muse933277 wrote:
You should get really good at coding, with an emphasis on learning how to code in virtual reality.

Because in the future, you can help with the creation of realistic girlfriends through virtual reality. The future of porn is going to be almost realistic virtual reality girlfriends and sex. Just imagine putting on your VR headset and being transformed into a room with a hot naked woman and you get to have sex with her and it almost feels like the real thing, that's going to the future of porn.

You could be one of the first to create something like that.


That sounds like a lot of work just to masturbate and still not have a partner outside of that context. :?


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idntonkw
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21 Apr 2021, 11:16 pm

Marknis wrote:
I really don’t see any hope for me in finding love. I’ve tried asking women out for coffee in person, I used to be a part of an Autism/Aspergers support group where I did have a brief relationship, I’ve made myself attend social groups even if they were against my values, I tried dating sites as well as apps, I tried calling a dating agency but was denied due to being only a part time employee, I attended two speed dating events in Austin, I’ve put up dating profiles on here as well as other forums, I’ve used chat rooms, I once tried a “fling site” out of desperation, I’ve made myself go to bars even though they stunk and only played country music, and maybe some other things I can’t recall right now. I feel like I have tried practically every avenue possible and the results have been disappointing. Is there truly any hope for me or should I just give up? Even if I give up, I don’t want to continue much longer.


I've seen aspie guys find a girlfriend and a wife and short term relationships with women. Myself though, I have given up because I never had a chance, mostly due to my inability to be a full person with people and making people feel bored, weird, depressed, etc.



idntonkw
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21 Apr 2021, 11:17 pm

Dog1 wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I really don’t see any hope for me in finding love. I’ve tried asking women out for coffee in person, I used to be a part of an Autism/Aspergers support group where I did have a brief relationship, I’ve made myself attend social groups even if they were against my values, I tried dating sites as well as apps, I tried calling a dating agency but was denied due to being only a part time employee, I attended two speed dating events in Austin, I’ve put up dating profiles on here as well as other forums, I’ve used chat rooms, I once tried a “fling site” out of desperation, I’ve made myself go to bars even though they stunk and only played country music, and maybe some other things I can’t recall right now. I feel like I have tried practically every avenue possible and the results have been disappointing. Is there truly any hope for me or should I just give up? Even if I give up, I don’t want to continue much longer.


You’ve been told hundreds of times over a span of years to leave Texas - and you have been instructed that this will solve your problems, which it will.

If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you rather enjoy spinning your wheels and wallowing in self-pity, instead.

Why have you not left Texas yet?

You would be away from your toxic family and given a chance to detox.


He would die of loneliness and poverty if he left the family. I don't think other states are going to be that much better.