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OutsideView
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24 Apr 2021, 4:21 pm

Some of the replies in RetroGamer87's thread made me wonder but I don't want to go off-topic in his serious thread. If you don't like children, why don't you like some people just because they're a different age to you? Are there any other groups of people you dislike? Did you not like yourself when you were a kid?


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Joe90
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24 Apr 2021, 4:45 pm

Because children (age 1 year to about 5 years) are unpredictable and ruin shopping trips and meals in restaurants and traveling on public transport, for other people.

They always need to be heard and need attention.

The tone and pitch of their voices are impossible to ignore or filter out when you have autism or ADHD.

They have no motor skills, they run right into you in stores and touch you when standing in queues. Get it off!

They make everywhere seem like a zoo of monkeys.

They whine, whinge and yell and like to play their parents up, especially their mothers.

If noise could produce fuel, they would have the lungs to power a jumbo jet.

It's not necessarily the kids only, it's the parents. I'm not saying it's possible to control toddlers 100% but in most cases the behaviour of toddlers is usually influenced by the parents. I've seen it for myself. If the parents are attentive, in charge and is on the toddler's level when interacting with them, the toddler will usually react positively and behave better. I'm talking about typically developing kids, I don't know if the same works for mentally challenged children (autism, ADHD, learning difficulties, Fragile-X, etc). But I'm just speaking in general.


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OutsideView
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24 Apr 2021, 5:05 pm

Joe90 wrote:
It's not necessarily the kids only, it's the parents. I'm not saying it's possible to control toddlers 100% but in most cases the behaviour of toddlers is usually influenced by the parents. I've seen it for myself. If the parents are attentive, in charge and is on the toddler's level when interacting with them, the toddler will usually react positively and behave better.

Nice to know you also dislike me.


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Joe90
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24 Apr 2021, 5:22 pm

OutsideView wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
It's not necessarily the kids only, it's the parents. I'm not saying it's possible to control toddlers 100% but in most cases the behaviour of toddlers is usually influenced by the parents. I've seen it for myself. If the parents are attentive, in charge and is on the toddler's level when interacting with them, the toddler will usually react positively and behave better.

Nice to know you also dislike me.


Oh great, now I've unintentionally upset someone.
OK, I suppose I better explain myself..
I never said I hate the parents. You asked a question and I answered your thread, that's all. Maybe a more intelligent poster will back me up on this one because I'm too stressed about other things than thinking of ways to tread carefully around sensitive people.


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IsabellaLinton
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24 Apr 2021, 7:38 pm

I like children but prefer spending time with adolescents roughly 10 - 15. In general younger kids are louder and more active. I feel more of a need to interact by playing make believe which I'm not good at, or to assist them with whatever they're doing and learning. There's nothing wrong with that and it can be fun, but it's a lot of work and a lot of responsibility. By the time kids are 10-15ish they're usually less physically active and more independent. Even though they might be moody or emotional, at least they sit still. I always connect well with kids that age and they always think I'm pretty cool, too. We can usually connect via music, sports, philosophy, or just talking about feelings etc.



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24 Apr 2021, 7:44 pm

I like children... Even the idea of having any. But I know I'm not that ready.
And I do not mind parents themselves.


But if I don't like children...
Ah, the consequences would be bad for both the child and parent.

If the child is noisy or annoying, basically being a kid, I would scare them straight.

If the child has an attitude problem and is being a nuisance, I'd scare them straight.
And go to their parents and scare them straight too.

If it's about having or being with the child, all my foremost asocial tendencies would be hostile instead:
Not wanting to do with someone else, not wanting to do with taking care of another, not wanting to spend any time or resources on anyone.

I will never hide the fact I'd dislike or hate children...
... Hypothetically, if I don't like children -- or anything for that matter. :o

And the question of disliking myself as a child? I'd rather be a child myself.

But back then? It's ambiguous.
All I know I was a very prideful and angry child. I could've hated myself and everyone else without realizing what it meant.

As for peers as a child? I'm asocial. :lol: And whimsical on top of that.

Also as for age gap interactions? It seems inherently irrelevant or artificial for me to try and alienate age groups.
It's something I try to acknowledge at every encounter -- like most unnatural social constructs and rules.


Anyways.

I'm not a child hater.
I do not dislike parents either. In fact I would choose to be completely rational about parents and their parenting, no matter how sentimental the parents are.

As long as dehumanization or abuse is out of the table anyway.

And completely apathethic whether they're raising future prestigious model citizens, well adjusted average joes, fearfully conditioned neurotics, helpless preys or monsters.


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24 Apr 2021, 8:20 pm

I like children the same way I like pets -- well-behaved, quiet, clean, friendly, and obedient.

Those who are ill-behaved, noisy, filthy/smelly, hostile, and out-of-control are better left at home.

Same for pets.


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24 Apr 2021, 11:04 pm

I love babies and children. I see those Sweet Peas as a gift from God.


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OutsideView
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25 Apr 2021, 4:21 am

Thanks for the replies folks. I was mostly wondering about the people who actively say they don't like children in general. Before having kids I never really had any particular feelings about them so I can't understand it. I just saw them as other people behaving in the ways their developing brains allow. Now I have kids I suddenly think they're wonderful though.

Joe90 wrote:
Oh great, now I've unintentionally upset someone.
OK, I suppose I better explain myself..
I never said I hate the parents. You asked a question and I answered your thread, that's all. Maybe a more intelligent poster will back me up on this one because I'm too stressed about other things than thinking of ways to tread carefully around sensitive people.

Sorry if I've upset you. I never thought you hated me, that's a big jump from dislike! Since I'm a parent I don't think it's overly sensitive to assume you dislike me when you reply to a thread about why you dislike kids and what other groups of people you dislike by saying "It's not necessarily the kids only, it's the parents.". Hope you're coping well with your stressful things!

CockneyRebel wrote:
I love babies and children. I see those Sweet Peas as a gift from God.

That's absolutely lovely CockneyRebel!


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25 Apr 2021, 6:31 am

Because people don't/can't control babies and toddlers. Babies and toddlers are forever going to cry and wail and spit up food. Yes we were all young once but I was annoying at that age.

NT teenagers act annoying/scary on purpose. It's a form of intimidation. Like young animals who are reaching maturity. Natural part of life, but a really annoying and deliberate one on their parts. As for the 'because they're not your age' - this was why I hated secondary from age 14 to 16 so no, I was the same when I was the same age as them. And they scared me as a child too. I'm still scared of them.

Because kids under 5 don't know how to wash their hands after using the toilet, stick their fingers up their bums/noses just casually and then touch everything. Doesn't help that most of their food is sticky too. When my nieces and nephews were little and came over, everything needed a good clean after they left and I had touch sensitivity to touching stuff their sticky fingers had been on.

I don't hate babies and toddlers but they are annoying.

I choose not to have children. For one thing: if you find them annoying at any age, don't for their sake. And for another: if you're not mature enough to be the adult, don't. My dad wasn't a good parent, he was a 'fun uncle' type and sometimes even 'scary irresponsible uncle' type. I'm glad I was born but I wish I'd had a proper dad.

There is a presumably LFA or SLD or both 12 yo kid next door to me and he can't talk and he just screeches and wails. I have nothing against him but he is really annoying esp cos I have noise sensitivity. :( I thought he was an NT/HFA baby til mum said 'he's about 12'. 8O I feel bad for him that he can't talk or sign.


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25 Apr 2021, 6:56 am

Sensory issues. They're just so loud. The kids in my street shriek their heads off when they're out playing.

Children didn't like me and were horrible to me when I was a child. I can't see them as innocent creatures, they're vicious little things that hate anything different to themselves.

I suppose dogs are like that. If owners treat them bad they're vicious, but if theyre trained well they are great.

I think some of the kids I went to school with had rough home lives.

I love my nephew, he's great fun, but other children bore me.



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25 Apr 2021, 7:41 am

"Because you cant have a stiff drink with them. So what use are they?"

Thats the answer Humphrey Bogart gave.



Joe90
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25 Apr 2021, 8:15 am

OutsideView wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
It's not necessarily the kids only, it's the parents. I'm not saying it's possible to control toddlers 100% but in most cases the behaviour of toddlers is usually influenced by the parents. I've seen it for myself. If the parents are attentive, in charge and is on the toddler's level when interacting with them, the toddler will usually react positively and behave better.

Nice to know you also dislike me.


I just get annoyed when people take things so personally. For example if I say I dislike strangers, does it mean I dislike the stranger who I was standing at the bus stop with today? No, it doesn't, unless they had a reason for me to dislike them.

I didn't even imply that I disliked parents, I was just saying that the behaviour of the kids can sometimes be down to the parents, but not in every case (before someone gets upset by thinking I mean all).

I love my nephews and nieces though. In fact I'm frustrated that I haven't been able to meet my nephew yet. When I last saw my 3-year-old niece, I gave her lots of hugs and bought her toys and clothes.

So with me my feelings about small children is bittersweet. I love small children if I know them (friend's children and relative's children), but small children I don't know when in stores or wherever I just can't stand. I think children are like farts - you don't your own but you're repulsed by other people's. (''Your own'' meaning children you know).


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25 Apr 2021, 8:21 am

Misanthropic

I don't particularly like anyone

It has nothing to do with age



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25 Apr 2021, 8:52 am

shortfatbalduglyman wrote:
Misanthropic

I don't particularly like anyone

It has nothing to do with age


You don't like me then?!
((Joke)) :lol:


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OutsideView
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25 Apr 2021, 8:58 am

Joe90 wrote:
I just get annoyed when people take things so personally.

That's OK, I get annoyed when people get annoyed about people taking things personally.


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