If You Don't Like Children: Why?

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Also I know I was an annoying kid.

Although by the age of 7 I was annoying to those who don't like pretentious kids.

Which... I don't mind geeky kids. Seems to freak out insecure adults.

When I was til 4 I had gross eating habits, I ate paint when I was 4, I stuck things up my nose when I was 6, I had meltdowns and still have them, I couldn't monitor my own voice.

I can see plenty reasons why people wouldn't have liked me as a kid and that's just their thing.

I was never an intimidating teenager though and I am proud of that because that one is an absolute choice.

Maybe that's why kids never bothered me, I looked intimidating so they never came near me! I did make an effort to be friendly so people would realise I wasn't actually intimidaing though.

Aren't you going to point out that shortfatbalduglyman doesn't like you because he said he doesn't like anybody?

No, not liking anybody is different from not liking specific groups of people.

I don't dislike children but don't know how to act around them. I have trouble acting like they are the cutest thing ever and doing baby talk. I don't know how to communicate with them since they are not logical.

That said, it depends on the child too.One of my friends has a baby daughter and i adore her. Maybe it is different since she is my dear friend's daughter and is genuinely a sweet and well mannered child who is full of love. I have no problem interacting with her.

I had kids(they are grown now), and still don’t care to be around most young children.Small fat happy babies are nice to look at, but once they get mobile the trouble starts.Teenagers can be interesting to visit with and exchange ideas.
Small ones under twelve are noisy, possibly destructive, carry germs , might smell, might drink bleach or get injured at any moment, demand attention and maintenance constantly.

"You cant have a stiff drink with them. So what use are they?"

---- Humphrey Bogart

I wouldn't say I don't like ALL children ALL the time. I've had some nice interactions with babies and small children, when I've been at ease and so have they. For example a large group of us were out for a meal and my friend's toddler decided to crawl up my leg and sit in my lap. And he was a good kid and I felt honoured that he trusted me like that. Similarly I enjoyed seeing my ex-girlfriend's sister's kid when he was very little. But in both cases I wasn't feeling under pressure in my own mind and I didn't feel any particular pressure / obligation from anyone else either. If I'd been uncomfortable I could have found myself some space for 10 minutes without anyone creating a scene.

In broader terms, though, I REALLY don't like surprises, loud noises, craziness, people with no respect for personal space and boundaries, and embarassment. Children are perpetually-flowing fountains of all the things that make me nervous. At the same time I'm also crushingly aware that these are impressionable little people and a huge amount of psychology goes into making sure they grow up confident, fit and healthy. I would be mortified if I accidentally upset a little kid or gave them a complex, experience however suggests that's actually pretty likely as my social skills aren't the greatest. I have to concentrate like crazy to get on ok with adults, I don't have the capacity to think fast enough or deeply enough to be one step ahead of kids.

So some of this is being triggered by children just being children (saying random things I can't process quickly enough, for example) and some of it is me not wanting to say or do something stupid by mistake. Which is more likely when I'm under pressure, socially, and I'm afraid kids naturally make me feel more under pressure. I don't like not knowing what they'll say or do next, I can't mask for that and it leaves me feeling exposed.

I've spent my whole life trying never to be responsible for managing another human being. Even in relationships I try my hardest to avoid ever being the sole decision-maker. I actually resent being put under that sort of pressure. So I don't want to be responsible for the welfare of a child, because I'm scared I'll do a bad job and because I'm already stressed enough, thanks very much.

That doesn't mean I hate kids per se, I just need to be geared up to deal with them, and ideally in a supportive environment, and only for a short time. Doesn't mean I wish them any harm - far from it.

"Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad."

Although very commonly attributed to actor/comedian W.C.Fields (William Claude Dunkenfield, 1880-1946) this is derived from a statement that was actually first said about him by Leo Rosten during a "roast" at the Masquer's Club in Hollywood in 1939.

I thought I would mention this before anyone else did.

I didn't even like kids when I was a kid but I also really disliked adults. I was bullied a lot until I switched schools in 6th grade. It is NOT that I hate others because they are not like me. I only really hate people who abuse others. However I do not really feel comfortable around kids. I don't know how to interact with them. I'm a loner who generally likes doing his own thing. I've also had phases of being a little misanthropic. My mom's a retired pre-K teacher & I went to class with her a few times when I was in my teens(like when my school was off for the day & mom needed help with something at school) & I found the kids very loud & chaotic. I've gotten a lot better at dealing with loud noises than I was then. However I'm an Aspie with OCD who likes order, routine, & predictability & it's hard to have that around kids. I may be a bit better at dealing with teens thou. I am very immature & very behind my peers with lots of life stuff which is common for us Aspies. In some ways teens may be more relatable to me than adults my age or older. I also have some interests that teens would be more likely to have than adults my age or older. I do not like being around large groups of them thou cuz they can get wild as well.

This may be slightly off-topic & sound messed-up but I felt like a parent at times in all 3 of the romantic relationships I had in my life. My 1st girlfriend was 15 when I was 20 & had some serious issues, my 2nd was 19 when I was 28, & my current gf is the same age as me but she has various issues she's dealing with. Feeling like a dad with them at times was/is more than enough for me; I didn't really want to be in that position but I had to be at times. Being a parent or just dealing with other kids would be too much for me to handle.

Ah yes, I have two of my own and I can say as a parent those who think children can be controlled like puppets and have on and off switches do not have kids and never had any and never worked with any.

Try doing the grocery shopping and trying to keep a toddler calm and entertained. They will still be loud or still be trying to grab stuff so you have the cart in the middle of the aisle and they won't stop no matter how many times you say no. Or wait in line and you keep trying to keep them entertained so they won't bother people around them. But people will judge regardless. Either choice you make, someone won't be happy.

I used to just not take my kids out at all when I could help it and always left them at home with my husband. I would have my husband or my mom or dad come with me to help me with my kids if I wanted to take them somewhere. My son once asked me why he never went anywhere so I was honest with him and told him "because you never listen to me." When I would do a trial run and take him to the store with me, I would remind him "this is why I don't take you out" when he would act up or not take no for an answer. He has been doing better now. I think it's because he is older now. Both my kids now know I won't take them anywhere again if they act up in public and not listen to me. I have the privilege to just leave them at home all the time with their dad and going out is a privilege and they lose it if they act up in public and not listen to me and make me look like a bad parent. But a toddler is not going to understand this because they will just forget about it.

I don't judge other parents for taking their little ones out and some are more behaved than others. My son couldn't wait in long lines and couldn't be good and would run around and always wanted to knock stuff off shelves and grab everything and it was exhausting to chase after him and if I held him, he would just yell and scream so I often left him home. So either way was bad. I often had to make my husband come out with me if I wanted to take the kids somewhere. We also used to separate too in malls, I had our daughter and he had our son.



Could also relate to this, so hard to get them to not touch stuff with their sticky fingers when they are done eating. I would have to wipe their hands. I am so glad they outgrew that stage but then there are other annoying stages they will hit. I recently got my son to stop leaving poopy messes in the bathroom and he is ten. My husband thought I was being unreasonable and thought I wasn't letting him have a childhood so I told him "kids have no reason to leave sh***y messes in the bathroom, it won't ruin their childhood. I didn't do that at age ten."

"Toddlers cannot be controlled/cannot help it" doesn't make me any more tolerant of them.

That's pretty much what I originally wanted to say to Joe90 but I was about to go to bed and couldn't formulate my thoughts properly.


That's one I struggle with a lot. It's only some sounds that I'm sensitive to so all the noise isn't too bad, unlike for a lot of people on this thread. I'm much worse with touch. Luckily my husband doesn't mind how mucky he gets so I just send the toddler to him when I can if she's all sticky.


That's fair enough if you also don't mind people being intolerant of us for our annoying quirks.

At places like restaurants and stores, I'm way more annoyed by parents yelling at their children or lecturing them, or "helicoptering" and generally attempting to impose excessive control by making a lot of noise than by children making comparable mess and noise.

At family gatherings my cousin's kids would get wound up & my aunt would make things much worse by yelling at them to behave & to be quiet. It seemed very hypocritical to me cuz she was making 2wice as much noise as the kids trying to get them in line. It also made the kids act worse cuz they would get upset & start crying &/or arguing back. Things woulda been a lot calmer & quieter if my aunt woulda tried to set a good example instead of trying to one up them.

That's exactly the behavior I have in mind.